things me and my zit need you to know..

 

this week is super crazy.

last week of school for fiona.

scrambling to get shit done before she is home all day every day.

leaving for new york on sunday (yay).

deciding on outfits.

eating too many mother's day chocolates as evidenced by my new face friend (not friend at all).

painting and shipping.

jersey housewives.

some gentle yoga.

asleep by 10.

 

don't leave me.

 

go and shoot yourself in the face with a canon if you plan to watch this show

 

 

 

 yay us!!

 

we get to listen to meg's laryngititular cotton mouth midwestern accent say the words "Design Crimes" forever and ever!

ear crimes.

eye crimes.


 

 

also:

 

right?!!!?

 

anyway...

 

here's what you missed...

 

 

meg and karl decorate a room.

 

both rooms suck.

 

the end.

 

"hahahahahahahahahDESIGNCRIMES!"

 

 

DESIGN CRIMES!!!!

 

 

 

D
E
S
I
G
N

 

C
R
I
M
E
S

 

 dezIne cryymz

 

 

 

this shit just writes itself..

here you go dream analyzers..

what does it mean when you spill an ENTIRE BOX of kosher salt

but it's mixed with fennel seeds?

 

obviously an enormous amount of bad luck..

but

is it foreshaddowing to the type of bad luck?

is mario batali coming to beat me to death with one of his orange crocs?

(i could take him)

or is he coming to make magical love to me only to flatten me with his intense girth?

i hope i never have to find out. (maybe)

 

what about this for obvious..

me and nene leakes wuz workin in the most popular store in the mall and we were obviously best friends for life..

until she ROLLER SKATED AWAY FROM ME!!  

 

i roller skated after her but just kept getting lost.

i went through the food court grabbing up samples as i quickly and cutely skated by..

i kept thinking how the cool mall air felt so good against my skin as i whipped around.

but everytime i thought about what i was skating after i got real sad.

i never found nene.

i just woke up.

 

seriously..

that is one for the dream books if i ever did hear.

 

anyway..

 thanks for the nice comments yesterday.

you totally redeemed yourselves.

 

you might not realize but i actually read your comments, love your comments and take your comments to heart!

i consider you all my friends.

and some of you have offered me really great advice that i needed to get through tough times.

 

and i will absolutely think of the most awesome giveway in the universe to repay you for your kindness.

 

and to nancy who said: "stop begging for comments it is beneath you"...

i say to YOU..

i shovel month old, stale, SAVORY GARLIC flavored crackers through nutella and throw them into my mouth repeatedly throughout the day..

nothing is beneath me. 

 

as for your turd recap..

it's coming.

i have 2 deadlines this week, plus a little girl who is up in my grill every 4 seconds.

 

i will deliver it to you impatient bitches in a few hours.

so unless you wanna start paying me money to write this shit (it takes at least 5 hours to write one of these recaps)

i suggest you simmer down.

 

dreamy anger farts,