dear blogfest 2011

it is 4:39- oops make that 4:40 PM on a wednesday and i am on my second glass of shiraz.

what's that mean?

it means i'm awesome.

 

what's my point?

let me break it down...

blogfest 2011 is approaching and i keep getting tweets telling me there are only, like, 5 spaces left.

five spaces left?!?!?!

what the FFFF, is justin beaver going to be there?!?!!!!

 

well blogfest people, i totally want to go!!

b/c

 a.) my new BF newell turner will be there (way better than beaver)

b.) this shit is happening: and i really wanna hear this.

 

and 

c. a lot of really really cool people that i totes wanna hump respect will be there...

 

but once again i am light in the wallet.

farttts!!!

it's only 100 dollars and that's not a lot of money to some people and i could probably swing it in a week or so,

but right now that may as well be 1 million dollars.

but if you could "reserve" a space for me that would be awesome.

 

need proof that i am worth a free reservation?

exhibit a:

i have a crown.

that = importance.

 

exhibit b:

i have cool "friends".

 

exhibit c:

i grew that. 

 

exhibit d (for drunk):

no explanation necessary i feel.

 

ok then.

lemme know.

 

charity farts,

***my friend susie just informed me that registration is full.  all we can do is be put on a waiting list.

shitbutts.

 

facts

in my head i weigh the ways in which i am most certainly not awesome with the ways that i definitely am the most awesome..

for example:

for the last few days when i wake up i notice my hands smell like pizza.

i google it:

sadly, no one else seems to have this problem.

so now i am just pizza hands without answers.

 

also

 

mike has an abscess on his lymph node. 

today he had it drained...

 

this was the text conversation..

me:  are you there yet?

mike:  waiting...

me: ok let me know when he sees it.

mike:  ok.

me:  also send me a picture of the pus.

 

not awesome. 

but yet, so so awesome. 

(*i did not receive a picture of the pus. sadface)

 

also

i went to the mall today to get a few last minute gifts for my mother in law, mother, brother..etc...basically everyone else but fiona.

and after walking what seemed like 40,000 miles from the parking lot to the entrance and then perusing anthropologie for about 7 minutes i decided i was too hot and needed to get the FFF out of there.

shopping fail.

so now i have to go back tomorrow where it will be even more full of shopping failure assholes like myself.

 

here is where i am awesome:

christmas morning i will bake these for my loves:

recipe here.

 

then for christmas dinner i will make this:

accompanied  by these:

recipes here and here.

 

fa la la la fart,