the fangtonio project

so, i broke down and watched the antonio project, much in the same way one watches an episode of the biggest loser. you know, sort of with pity and glee? anyway, hgtv gave fang one final makeover to complete...his own house...

it might come as a surprise to you that in his early years fang was in a thrash metal band called, deranged. although i suspect it doesn't. so then it should not surprise any of us that his "design aesthetic" is also thrash metal. literally...the use of metal flake paint in this house was profuse. as were the words "custom" and "re-con". i'm not sure what re-con means, but he said it at least 12 times during the episode. as in, " we did a little re-con and then it was time to start putting it all together". ok fang, whatever the fuck that means.
now before i go any further i should note that while watching this show i found myself kind of enjoying what he was doing, but then i realized it wasn't what he was doing it was him..he's kinda cute..fangs and all (edward cullen's hairier half wolf brother? no?). but the bottom line is despite the fact that his style is certainly not my cup 'o tea, he is NO design star. the rooms were weird at best and not at all finished. everything looked dated already and i'm sorry...goth meets west coast chopper is not cute in a house.
yeah, that's his bedroom. that "thing" on the wall is something someone made for of the "custom" jobs he requested. it's based on a tattoo he wanted but instead made it into a headboard (?) why all the black fang? it's not "tough" as you's heavy and paired with that red is just too 80's and cold looking. the throw on the end of the bed is quite nice though and helps this room tremendously. a rug would have helped too. another "custom" piece were those nightstands. where you took a perfectly nice white piece of furniture and "metal flaked", "shadowed" and "airbrushed" the shit out of it making it look like something you'd see driving down the road in the barrio.
you did it to this too:

and there was no living room to speak of..just this huge table, 2 "thrones" and a lot of erroneous candles.

the kitchen:

again with the black just looks so dated. and you can't really see it but there is a rippled stainless steel back splash further adding to the cheese factor.

the bathroom looks like a spec bathroom. not like something a so called design star would do. plus it's not finished. i mean at least dan would have gayed it up a little with a window treatment and a plant...SOMETHING!!!

not impressed.