me: (on toilet, peeing) what?
mike: (standing in his tighty whiteys and nothing else) do you have any dye? you know like blue or charcoal gray?
me: (squinted eye, head cocked slightly) for what?
mike: (posing like a 70s porn star) i want to dye these underwear so that i can mow the lawn in them, so they don't look like underwear.