design turd contestant #5: meet michael moeller

Age: 30

Hometown: New York, N.Y.

As a child growing up in rural New York, Michael knew he had a natural artistic talent and loved to find creative ways to play a game or rearrange his bedroom furniture. After earning a degree in interior design from The New England School of Art & Design in Boston, Michael moved to New York. His persistence and creative design style, which is “a natural approach to urban sleekness,” helped him land a job with a prestigious hospitality design firm, where he produced award-winning work. Today, Michael is a design business owner and credits his outgoing personality and problem-solving skills to his success. He says he grew up as the star in his family and believes that the combination of his competitive nature and outspoken personality will help him become the next HGTV Design Star.


oh really michael??

well let's take a look at your "award winning natural approach to urban sleekness"...

that bedding is causing my butt to explode diarrhea..


perfect for a corporate hotel stay..


this room lacks focus and it's far too crowded with shit.

take the cowhide off the futon thing, a few less pillows in softer colors, take the encyclopedia collection off that table and replace with a few well placed pieces of pottery or shiny pretty things, take those fucking suitcases to the closet and make that gallery wall a little more spaced out...the room is cramped enough why do you need to cramp up the art?...fuck off.



not understanding the pillow and/or the izod bedding...


this guy needs an art hanging lesson. also whats with the 4 tables/stools?  and just please for the love of bret michaels get one big rug. and stop putting shit on an angle. it's very hgtv of you.



these light fixture things are in the photo above. i don't hate them, i think in the right space they could be cool...for a the this the urban sleekness portion of his design aesthetic?


just no!!!!

those chairs...gag...table..double fart gag..i do love a riddling rack for wine holding though and the light fixture is cool against the rustic quality of the rack..but that's it you fucker!!



so very very hgtv. mandace's penis just grew a little bit bigger.



oh look...shit's on an angle again.



just changing the color on the walls and taking those fucking throw pillows off the bed would make this room 100 times better. also change the curtains, blanket, and chair fabric. it's all too similar. there is no depth or anything interesting to look at. nothing to keep your eye moving around the room.




 the reds, browns and yellows are really my least favorite colors together but the basics in this room are great. a few color changes, some books and personal effects and we could have a winner.