nina goes home.
we saw this coming though didn't we?
you can't make snail trails and paint pink boxes meant to be "conceptualized" as orchids and expect to go far in a design competition right?
she offered up zero design.
unless you consider painting projects, design.
i consider them painting projects.
so good fucking riddance then, right?
and we are watching this show for the design element, right?
not bc we want her around for the drama she creates..or should i say the producers are creating..
i want a bunch of fucking talented folks to take spaces and transform them into something interesting and/or beautiful.
with furniture and fabric, paint and architectural accents, accessories and lighting.
i want to see talented, creative people use their skills to make a shell of a room into something amazing.
i see bloggers do it all the time.
FUCK YOU FUCKING HGTV!
so i will attempt to BLOG. THIS. DREARY. FUCKING. BULLLLLLLSHIIIITTTT!!!!!!!
here's your winning design "element"....
casey painted a fireman.
which i actually like as an art piece in a firestation.
but overall the wining space sucked my butthole just as much as the losing space..
FUCKING LOOK AT IT GODDDAMN IT!!!!!! :
that sky line mural is alex's.
WHAT GODFORSAKEN DESIGN SCHOOL IS TEACHING PEOPLE THAT MURALS ARE AWESOME???
BURN THAT PLACE DOWN IMMEDIATELY!
oh, should i have backed up and told you what this challenge was about?
tom, nina, courtland, stacey and your mom
emily, michael, casey, alex and your dick
give 2 fire station's a room to decompress and chill in.
that should also serve as a place for powerpoint presentation or something.
i can tell you next what happens is these turds fucking start building shit out of cheap supplies and it's all fucking sad clown bullshit.
emily builds a table (again, this is the winning room).
she also tells us that she doesn't build tables she buys them and that she is worried that this is going to look like a kindergarten art project...
guess what emily..
IT LOOKS LIKE A KINDERGARTEN ART PROJECT!!!!
DID SOMEONE HAVE A GUN TO YOUR HEAD AND TELL YOU TO MAKE A FUCKING STUPID, CONTRIVED TABLE???
IF I WERE ONE OF THOSE JUDGES I WOULD HAVE RIPPED THAT SHIT OFF THE FLOOR AND TOSSED IT INTO THE GODDAMN FIRE SIMULATOR!!!!!!!
and now on to the losing room..
what you are about to see made vern go from mad...
to crazy mad gaysian...
here it is...
the losing space:
stacey carved out a number 5 and spray painted a piece of mdf gold and mounted it.
this friends was the judges favorite part!!!
the FUCKING NUMBER 5!!!?????
on a FUCKING PLAQUE!!???????!!!!!!
also nina was responsible for the fucking repellent furniture and the braile nural...
which she said was a functioning corkboard and also some shit about hidden messages and the fireman's motto or creed or SOME SUCH FUCKING CRAZY CLAPTRAP!
and courtland who is probably the biggest douche on this entire show..
gave us a 70's porn rape basement..
do any of these fucking blockheads have any style?
would miles redd make a fucking braille corkboard in a firestation lounge?
what would the novogratz's do?
remember what they did with the men's gym?
yeah, it's fucking awesome.
i probably wouldn't do the lavender wallpaper for burly firefighters but that is not even remotely a problem that couldn't be addressed.
i fucking hate this show.
onto some shit that's been on my mind...
i started recapping these turd shows last season.
to my knowledge i was the only blogger doing so.
at least in the tell-it-like-it-is-with-red-scribble-and-drawings that i became known for.
i enjoyed doing it.
it was my thing.
now there are so many blogs out there recapping this shit pageant.
very similar to mine.
which leaves me feeling a little dry and uninspired.
i kind of feel like what's the point?
i don't get excited about recapping this show anymore.
and i don't want to be one in a list of bloggers who blog about the same show.
it makes me feel all gross inside.
afterall what would desire to inspire do if MFAMB started doing "monday's pets on furniture"?
only i changed it to "tuesday's pets on furniture"..
wouldn't that be kind of weird?
i'm not saying i own all rights to design star recaps.
i certainly don't.
but i also don't want to be a clone.