design turd episode 6: oh my god oh my god!!! what does it meeeean?? a complete double elimination all the way!!!

 there were clues this week regarding the double complete rainbow elimination outcome.


double caseys:


double douches:


and another ridiculously right field design challenge.

trump jr. was there to show off douche towers new jersey or something like that and vern told the turds they had to design a model room epitomizing the trump brand of luxury.

and then made them choose a bunch of bullshit souvenir bags to use as their inspiration.

plastic toys are so luxurious.

just like the inside of my butt.

so each turd walked over to pick a bag...

and like little yodas it would appear that the bags picked them..

casey picked the architecture and buildings bag.

stacey picked the checker cabs bag.

alex picked the big apple bag.

tom picked the statue of liberty bag.

emily picked the subway.

courtland picked the times square bag.


michael picked the broadway bag.

if only nina were still here i am certain she would have picked the graffiti bag.

like every other week each turd had their "moment" in the room and then worked collaboratively on the space as a whole.

here is the winning room done by the blue team that was michael, casey, alex and emily:

i think it eats peentop.


and the winning moment:

 alex's little "big apple pillow".

he deconstructed his bag to make a pillow.



the losing space done by the red team or, the other knuckleheads:

these monkeys spent a fucking crackload of money at ABC carpet and home and this is how they put it together?!

mother fucker.

fuck you rug on an angle.

(but someone please deliver it to my house after this sideshow is over)

as a whole i adore the furniture way more in this space than the flaxy leathery boxy mess of the winning room.  


different colored walls, a bigger rug, a couple of gorgeous chairs, more lighting, a few key art pieces, and would have won this one red team..


and then stacey completely bozo'd the bed:

(shakes head in disgust)

she put a fucking box spring in the bed, NO mattress, added some horrible sheets and called it a day.

her reason was she felt that taking away the mattress would give the headboard more height and more height equals luxury.

here's what else equals luxury stacey..


and her losing moment:

a taxi under a cloche.

while under normal circumstances i could see this on a mantle or on a table or something and it being somewhat cute but for a design challenge when you have to incorporate your bag into something artistic and substantial this is a FAIL.

but that bed nonsense is a far far bigger fail in my mind.


and then there's tom...

tom painted the whole bathroom blue.

walls, ceiling and door.

later changing the door back to white.


and the judges show up wearing a very similar shade of blue...

mandice in a slutty stewardess/slutty cop halloween costume..

and they hate the blue bathroom..


i didn't hate the blue bathroom.

i felt like he at least made a choice to go bold.

sure his creepy, manic ADD personality took it to a level of crazy but look at the winning team's bathroom:

what the cock is this shit??

look, you know i love me a white bathroom but this looks like they just skipped over it.

and isn't this building called trump towers new jersey?

and isn't this the type of person who would live in a trump tower?

which bathroom do you think they would go for?


in any case. the red team is the losing team.

during the judging vern was karate chopping everyone's face with hate lasers.

especially stacey, who had zero defense for her turdy choices.

vern sent stacey packing without even watching her host reel.

he was incensed by that bed and cab-under-a-cloche.

but wait there's more!!!!

vern tells courtland and tom that one of them is going home too!

both host reels suck dick but for some reason tom's sucked bigger dick.

that and his blue bathroom.

so vern sent him back to his creepy cabin by the lake to carve more wooden dolls heads..

at least that's where i think tom might be going.