design turd episode 6: oh my god oh my god!!! what does it meeeean?? a complete double elimination all the way!!!
Monday, July 26, 2010 at 2:42PM there were clues this week regarding the double complete rainbow elimination outcome.
look-
double caseys:
double douches:
and another ridiculously right field design challenge.
trump jr. was there to show off douche towers new jersey or something like that and vern told the turds they had to design a model room epitomizing the trump brand of luxury.
and then made them choose a bunch of bullshit souvenir bags to use as their inspiration.
plastic toys are so luxurious.
just like the inside of my butt.
so each turd walked over to pick a bag...
and like little yodas it would appear that the bags picked them..
casey picked the architecture and buildings bag.
stacey picked the checker cabs bag.
alex picked the big apple bag.
tom picked the statue of liberty bag.
emily picked the subway.
courtland picked the times square bag.
and
michael picked the broadway bag.
if only nina were still here i am certain she would have picked the graffiti bag.
like every other week each turd had their "moment" in the room and then worked collaboratively on the space as a whole.
here is the winning room done by the blue team that was michael, casey, alex and emily:
i think it eats peentop.
and the winning moment:
alex's little "big apple pillow".
he deconstructed his bag to make a pillow.
winner!!
the losing space done by the red team or, the other knuckleheads:
these monkeys spent a fucking crackload of money at ABC carpet and home and this is how they put it together?!
mother fucker.
fuck you rug on an angle.
(but someone please deliver it to my house after this sideshow is over)
as a whole i adore the furniture way more in this space than the flaxy leathery boxy mess of the winning room.
honestly..
different colored walls, a bigger rug, a couple of gorgeous chairs, more lighting, a few key art pieces, and curtains...you would have won this one red team..
and then stacey completely bozo'd the bed:
(shakes head in disgust)
she put a fucking box spring in the bed, NO mattress, added some horrible sheets and called it a day.
her reason was she felt that taking away the mattress would give the headboard more height and more height equals luxury.
here's what else equals luxury stacey..
A MATTRESS UNDER SOME HIGH QUALITY BEDDING AND SOFT, SQUISHY PILLOWS!!!!!!!!
and her losing moment:
a taxi under a cloche.
while under normal circumstances i could see this on a mantle or on a table or something and it being somewhat cute but for a design challenge when you have to incorporate your bag into something artistic and substantial this is a FAIL.
but that bed nonsense is a far far bigger fail in my mind.
and then there's tom...
tom painted the whole bathroom blue.
walls, ceiling and door.
later changing the door back to white.
and the judges show up wearing a very similar shade of blue...
mandice in a slutty stewardess/slutty cop halloween costume..
and they hate the blue bathroom..
weird.
i didn't hate the blue bathroom.
i felt like he at least made a choice to go bold.
sure his creepy, manic ADD personality took it to a level of crazy but look at the winning team's bathroom:
what the cock is this shit??
look, you know i love me a white bathroom but this looks like they just skipped over it.
and isn't this building called trump towers new jersey?
and isn't this the type of person who would live in a trump tower?
which bathroom do you think they would go for?
in any case. the red team is the losing team.
during the judging vern was karate chopping everyone's face with hate lasers.
especially stacey, who had zero defense for her turdy choices.
vern sent stacey packing without even watching her host reel.
he was incensed by that bed and cab-under-a-cloche.
but wait there's more!!!!
vern tells courtland and tom that one of them is going home too!
both host reels suck dick but for some reason tom's sucked bigger dick.
that and his blue bathroom.
so vern sent him back to his creepy cabin by the lake to carve more wooden dolls heads..
at least that's where i think tom might be going.
design star, design turd, hgtv in design star, design turd, hgtv 
Reader Comments (51)
I think Stacey is on crack. She had two crackhead-like meltdowns over that stupid taxi bag. Then when she was being questioned by the judges about who was responsible for the bed, she said "Uh.... " and appeared to be THINKING about whether or not she played a role in that JCPenney bedding nightmare. CRACKHEAD...!
Also, I am probably the only person who is really tired of stupidGenevieve's weekly shoe parade AND Vern turning to the other judges and saying EVERY WEEK "So what are you guys thinking...?" and "Okay so, we're in agreement..?"
Before, I was putting my kids to bed early so I could really 'watch' ... but I realize that nothing about that show requires any real concentration.
painters tarp for curtains.
if you don't have the cash, sure
but they had the cash
bleh what the hell is wrong with these people (and by these people i include those responsible for the show)
I might as well watch Wipeout
I wish I could sit in on a producer's meeting to hear them scream "WTF?" Seriously, because I wonder myself.
Another bit of douchery that I saw coming was DonJr's comment about his workers ripping out the red teams installation as they spoke.....then how were they going to do their presentations? Aaah, the magic of TV.
Has Courtland been sandbagging this entire season? Is he finally going to step up and show us more than his mouth? I sure hope so.
And thank you for bringing the snark. I look forward to your recap every week!
As of this episode, "Design Star" is now up against "Mad Men." Who would you rather watch: Vern Yip or Don Draper?
Both the hubs and I were in complete awe of just how craptastic these 'Luxury' townhouse/condo/apartments were. TO START WITH. Talk about builder grade bullshit. You can throw anything you want at that box and it's still gonna be a flippin' box. The space reminded me of the boring shoebox Bethanny Frankel calls home.
Now, that being said, almost anything you would do to these 'spaces' would have to be an improvement. But not with our intrepid group of design dopes. No siree. They had to showcase their missing talent in a big way.
I will say, the losing room was atrocious on so many levels. The bed was a joke. The curtains were a WTF moment for sure. But Tom was the only one of the three to actually incorporate his souvenir into his design. Since THAT was the challenge, he should not have been sent packing.
I think Courtland is checking himself out in a monitor while the others are looking at the judges in that last picture.
What kind of show is this anyways?? The contestants always seem sooo tacky!
Your comments are totally rocking, though!!
xx
d
I wasn't paying attention when they were told how much time they had. Was it 30 minutes? Why did nobody buy a shower curtain for the blue bathroom? Or use the single shelf to hold, oh I don't know, towels? Bath products? Did they actually get to buy an ipod just for the shelf? Who talks on the phone on the toilet? Who talks on a landline at all? Both teams put a TV in the bathroom? And they all do this for a living? I don't understand!!
Did you see how those rooms are lit? Two gigantic florescent ceiling lights. Why is this ok with Trump? Why doesn't anyone know how to swap out a light fixture?
Candice, do you read this? Do you pay someone to dress you? Is that your idea of what New Jersey looks like?
As awful as the design was, the ending was totally worth the torture of seeing their work. Still, I could do a better job in a single day even if I was limited to shopping Craigslist and Hobby Lobby. Have you seen the teasers where they say that some newspaper in Buffalo said something nice about the show? BUFFALO. Come on.
neutronstar- i did notice that genevieve's shoes this week were ugly and did not work with the outfit.
boops- the painters tarp curtains were a fucking travesty. i looked all over for a picture but couldn't find them.
anon- i don't have to miss mad men bc i don't watch the turds until first thing monday morning on my computer.
skinnythighs- sing it sister!
I'm just wondering - has anybody else noticed that they no longer say the winner is going to get a tv show - now they say the winner will get an ONLINE show. Hmmm...obviously there is no one on the show strong enough to carry a tv show!
its sad but design star is awful this season....i dont know where they are getting their ideas from....its just bleh!
This is why I do not watch "design" television. EVER.
Kelly
p.s. I second your thoughts about the losing room's furniture.
Whoever (I'm assuming she had nothing to do with it) came up with Candice's wardrobe choice should be taken out at the beginning of the next episode & shot. The woman should never ever wear a skirt. Ever. It was painful to witness. Nothing like seeing someone (or something, in the case of the Trump model rooms) so potentially eloquent, turned into trash. HGTV has reached a new low. I pray this is Design Star's last season. I'd be very afraid of what levels the challenges might take at this point. It's become a big f*cking joke.
Thank god MadMen started last night. Sundays are good again.
I had to cover my eyes when Stacey was adding her taxi bag to those curtains. Leave it to her to find a way to make those potato sack curtains even uglier.
Love the comments. Thanks for cracking me up every week!
How many ways can I say,"I HATE THIS SHOW", but I keeping going back for more because I love your take on it. I got so mad when I saw all that JUNK they made them use !!!!!!! Stacy's bed was the worst thing of the night. I think Tom got a raw deal. if a bathroom does not have any natural light the only thing one can do IMHO is to just go with it and make it cool and moody. I have never understood letting the turds from Trading Spaces judge anything, they were the worst! Now for you Jenny.... NO ONE DOES IT LIKE YOU DO. THANKS for another great post!
I tried to watch, but fell asleep. it really is horrific. Was it better before in other seasons?
that ugly little pillow is as small as alex's peen.
I think the problem lies less with the designers and more with the producers. "Don't give them enough money or time so that we can watch the backstabbing". What they don't understand is that we HGTV addicts want DESIGN, not drama. I laughed when I saw the "luxury" apartments. In whose world? How do you make anything out of those pitiful souvenirs?
I can't imagine whose show I would ever watch. Have you noticed that no one except David B. has lasted more than a season - some never appeared at all except for a special or two.
They tried to make this more professional with Mark Burnett, but it is worse than ever.
On what planet do drop cloths say luxury ? I was seriously cringing when she made that crap !
I totally forgot about Design Star as I was so excited about watching Mad Men. Sounds like I missed nothing. It was fun checking out the room decor in Mad Men. Yep, I get easily distracted by such things.
Did they at least put some cool block printing and/or fringe on the curtains to warrant using painter's tarp in a luxury suite?
Did anyone else notice all the little white rectangles on the wall in the first photo? I think they are electrical switchplates, but they look weird. And you can see right into the bathroom and see the cheap ugly shower curtain. Yuck.
this show is absolutely painful. every week i say the same damn things, curse at the tv, writhe in disgust, go on a rampage about the idiocy of the cast [and especially the producers, who allow this shit to exist] but yet -- i keep freaking watching. i need an intervention, as it doesn't appear to be getting better any time soon. truly, i know bloggers that would go above & beyoooond with the budgets presented. sicksicksick. i mean, really, NO ONE is good on this show. no one. it's a joke. & it makes me so, so sad. blegh.
Thanks for the best laugh I've had in a long time! You do it up right!
the cab under glass was my favorite part
I just discovered you blog and LOVE it! I don't even watch the show;why bother? I just read your very entertaining commentary on the whole mess! Thanks!