a day of disappointments for all of us

first disappointment of the day..

the lonny nov/dec issue.


this was all the holiday i got??


sorry guys...this issue made me cry.

i was soooo looking forward to it too.

it was frightfully bland, no?


and the second disappointment of the day...


no american horror story recap.

 and here's why...



first of all...

sometimes i get flack from readers who don't like me to talk about butt pee and throw up chunks.


i understand. it's gross. but it's real life too sometimes.


so if you are one of those people you might want to walk away from your computer right now.

though you should know that this is serious and maybe you could help our family.

but if you are gaggy by nature then fine...go...just know that i hate you.


for the rest of you listen up and get your helping words ready..


since fiona came down with a stomach bug 14 days ago (yes i'm counting..how else in the wee hours of the morning can i google learn all of the diseases and facts?) everyone in our house has had some form of this illness.


remember the other day when i asked about grape juice and butt water?

i read in my "research" (aka panic googling) that grape juice will kill a stomach virus before it starts.

so, apparently, will black tea and honey, apple cider vinegar, baking soda and hydrogen peroxide (not together unless you want a science project to happen inside of you), heavy doses of vitamin C...etc..

and yes..

i tried some of those things.


i seemed to have escaped (so far) any real debilitating sickness.


more "research" tells me that the stomach bug usually has an incubation period of 24 to 48 hours.

 while others said they have caught it as late as 9 days after exposure.


so obviously the countdown was on like D Kong.


(please tell me i am not the only asshole who panic googles and then turns into a lunatic)


then yesterday, mike was hit with severe intestinal cramping and diarrhea.

i mean severe.

like stick a hose in you, point it toward your anus and then turn it on full blast with the power washer apparatus.


he has had it for 24 hours non stop.


my symptoms have been weirder.

i have had this strange ulcer type of feeling..

i say ulcer bc of more obvious "research".


it's essentially a constant gnawing  type of pain that feels like hunger only i have had almost no appetite and when i set out to eat something i take one bite and am all...this is gross, blech.


the good news is i have probably lost 6 lbs just bc i am not eating very much.


but honestly, i would rather be fat and happy than skinny and miserable. 



i don't want to go to a doctor yet bc i don't have insurance.


so i turn to you...my internet reader doctors.


what is going on?

ask me anything.

ask me the color of our poop.

it's all different.


i don't particularly LIKE to talk about this sort of thing..i would rather talk about how awesome lonny was but it wasn't. 


how could mike get this virus 13 days after he was first exposed?

do i have an ulcer?

is it just a long lasting virus?

what do you know of that will help me?

why is the internet the true real devil?

why did lonny suck so bad?


let's get it going..


don't be mean.

be nice and helpful.

or i will continue to talk about poop forever.