a day of disappointments for all of us
Friday, November 11, 2011 at 9:56AM first disappointment of the day..
the lonny nov/dec issue.
this was all the holiday i got??
sorry guys...this issue made me cry.
i was soooo looking forward to it too.
it was frightfully bland, no?
and the second disappointment of the day...
no american horror story recap.
and here's why...
first of all...
sometimes i get flack from readers who don't like me to talk about butt pee and throw up chunks.
i understand. it's gross. but it's real life too sometimes.
so if you are one of those people you might want to walk away from your computer right now.
though you should know that this is serious and maybe you could help our family.
but if you are gaggy by nature then fine...go...just know that i hate you.
for the rest of you listen up and get your helping words ready..
since fiona came down with a stomach bug 14 days ago (yes i'm counting..how else in the wee hours of the morning can i google learn all of the diseases and facts?) everyone in our house has had some form of this illness.
remember the other day when i asked about grape juice and butt water?
i read in my "research" (aka panic googling) that grape juice will kill a stomach virus before it starts.
so, apparently, will black tea and honey, apple cider vinegar, baking soda and hydrogen peroxide (not together unless you want a science project to happen inside of you), heavy doses of vitamin C...etc..
and yes..
i tried some of those things.
i seemed to have escaped (so far) any real debilitating sickness.
more "research" tells me that the stomach bug usually has an incubation period of 24 to 48 hours.
while others said they have caught it as late as 9 days after exposure.
so obviously the countdown was on like D Kong.
(please tell me i am not the only asshole who panic googles and then turns into a lunatic)
then yesterday, mike was hit with severe intestinal cramping and diarrhea.
i mean severe.
like stick a hose in you, point it toward your anus and then turn it on full blast with the power washer apparatus.
he has had it for 24 hours non stop.
my symptoms have been weirder.
i have had this strange ulcer type of feeling..
i say ulcer bc of more obvious "research".
it's essentially a constant gnawing type of pain that feels like hunger only i have had almost no appetite and when i set out to eat something i take one bite and am all...this is gross, blech.
the good news is i have probably lost 6 lbs just bc i am not eating very much.
but honestly, i would rather be fat and happy than skinny and miserable.
maybe.
i don't want to go to a doctor yet bc i don't have insurance.
so i turn to you...my internet reader doctors.
what is going on?
ask me anything.
ask me the color of our poop.
it's all different.
i don't particularly LIKE to talk about this sort of thing..i would rather talk about how awesome lonny was but it wasn't.
how could mike get this virus 13 days after he was first exposed?
do i have an ulcer?
is it just a long lasting virus?
what do you know of that will help me?
why is the internet the true real devil?
why did lonny suck so bad?
let's get it going..
don't be mean.
be nice and helpful.
or i will continue to talk about poop forever.
discussions, sick stuff in discussions 
Reader Comments (58)
Soo dissapointed in the Lonny issue as well. I want Christmas everywhere. Christmas and awesome interiors. At least Lonny had interiors. The other online magazines do like one house/apt with odd artsy angled photos and then lots of articles about themselves and their best friends. (Ugh, I'm grumpy today). Now on to your illness. You're definitely pregnant. Just kidding, but not really. Maybe Mike was exposed later or just fought it longer or the symptoms just showed up later? I know this is incredibly unhelpful. I find immodium works for all of my stomach issues. If it's not better in a few days and you're like super skinny, definitely go to the doctor.
Ah, Jen,
googleitis is the most dangerous disease out there. It'll make you mad and then maybe even blind....
....which isn't encouraging, except to know that you wouldn't have missed out on much in Lonny.
I read it, and then re-read it trying to guess which images you and other talented bloggers will re-blog, images that I berated myself that I must have missed on my first flick through. (feeling kinda relieved it didn't smack of awesomeness to you too)
6lbs is a LOT - if you find out what the bug is, feel free to send it over here. I ate 6lbs worth of mince pies trying to make Lonny more palatable this issue. Fail.
I hope you all feel better soon.
/cx
I'm going to be one of those helpful people and say I got your symptoms when I was pregnant. As for the virus crap, they can last for weeks and they can incubate for that long, too.
I find that when I have a virus, I wait a while until I think I am sooooooo sick...Then I go to the doctor and she sez, Oh it's just a virus, it's almost done.
not pregnant. not even close.
Okay, I convinced myself I had AIDS for a whole year in college because of Googleitis. Even though there was literally no chance that I did. I would wake up in the middle of the night FREAKING out about it. I finally went to the doctor in a panic and made them overnight my test results because I was sure I was going to die.
Also, you should probably tell us about your poo colors.
All of this is to say that Googling probably won't get you anywhere. And if you wait even longer and it turns into something worse, you might end up being forced to see a doctor anyway, and it might be more expensive than if you go now. So my thoughts for you are: find a friend who is a doctor or who is related to one. Or look for Groupon Now or other types of coupons to see if any local doctors are offering first-time discounts. And then, if all else fails, give yourself 24 hours before you go. But I really think you should go. I'd offer up the doctors in my family, but they're nowhere near you. :(
Two words...Norwalk Virus- that's what you all have- it sucks and will last at least a couple of weeks and if you come near the vomit of poop, you will get it- there is no escaping. The good news is that when you do get it, you'll loose 10 pounds- silver linings. So sorry to hear you're all dealing with this nastiness. My whole family got this plague a couple of years ago and it was rough, rough and rougher. Plus we had to fly home- 2 hours on a plane...horrific.
Oh honey I'm so sorry you're all sick!
So here's what I know: google and webmd can give you every rare disease and cancer out there. I warned you.
Have you guys traveled anywhere recently? I had a stomach bug for about 3 months that was BAD (as in keeping my pillow in the bathroom bad). I lost a ton of weight and was hospitalized...twice! Lots of tests and ahem...probes later, I didn't have a virus but some crazy parasite. Don't know how I got it, but got it I did.
Obvs mike isn't preggo and I don't think you are either...maybe it's nerves or maybe you are Jedi mind tricking yourself.
Is Fi better? Is mike? Do y'all need anything? Try sticking to the brat diet. Bananas. Rice (plain white). Apples. Toast. If y'all aren't better soon, a visit to the doc may be in order.
Tummy/butt problems suck but if it makes you feel any better I have had 5 heart attacks and various cancers according to panic googling. I am obviously still alive.
The tummy gnawing hunger pain is the same thing I get with those sorts of bugs , which thankfully, isn't very often.I think its normal. I do have hiatal hernia which causes that stomach pain weekly at times.
There are some homeopathic remedies for this stuff. Its worth a try.
i second the norwalk virus diagnosis. i had that last year and i know exactly what you mean about the stomach pain. for me i likened it to having a dull, gnawing feeling in my stomach and then whenever i ate anything it felt like gravel going through my intestines. it took a little over a week for the feeling to go away. when your stomach is up for it try eating plain yogurt everyday to stave that shit off. lord knows there will be a round two in january or february.
maybe salmonella. we had it this summer. got it from my nephew who caught it on vacation at the beach. my son had diarrhea for 2 weeks. i wouldn't stress.
Jenny: Seriously try using Braggs Apple Cider Vinegar. I had the same pain you desibed in my upper gut- like hunger pains, only I wasn't hungry. My mother has been researching alernative medicines for heartburn, and she learned that Apple Cider Vineger really, really helps. It sound gross, but if you add 1 teaspoon to your tea, as often as possible, it will help subside the pain and pass the virus through your system. I tried it and it works for me. Make sure you get Braggs. There is something about the feramation of the apples that helps balance the alkline ph of your blood.
Didn't get a chance to persue Lonny yet. What about AHS??? You said you were getting sick of it. I love the show, but Nick and think it has lost its 'edge'. The pilot was so awesome, but now its getting watered down- and too many commercials!!
You have a daughter in school, which is one big petri dish. Just an hour ago my co-workers were discussing the projectile vomiting and 'rhea all their kids have. Halfway across the country here in Kansas City. Its sick season, that's all.
I just went to a lecture by the Center for Foodborne Illness. She says you can be exposed to all kinds of bacteria and disgusting viruses in food and it can affect the family at different times even if you all ate the same thing at the same time, up to 14 days after you ate it. Scared the crap out of me. I will never eat again. Vodka seems to be the only safe substance out there. In a remark that seems sort of odd to me she said there is no such thing as a stomach bug only foodborne illnesses.
I hope you feel better soon!
Gall bladder???
beth the way i saw it is that it's not always foodborne...it's definitely not the stomach FLU...bc there is no actual flu involved. but rather if someone has it and pukes and/or poops those little poop and puke particles float in the air and rest on everything including your mouth and lips. then you ingest it and whammo...you gots it.
make it go away!!
I have heard docs say (I am a medical social worker that loves design, American Horror Recaps and your blog) that following gastroenteritis, stomach flu or upset, that our stomach lining is irritated and that is the burning, ulcer feeling you have. I recommend, again see above, not a doctor, you get some Zantac or Prevacid and take it a few days. I'm betting it clears up. I have also got googleitis and 3 kids and have googled all known sites re: stomach flu. Hate the fucker.
Norwalk. And that pain that makes you think you're hungry but you aren't - I call it "the grippers". It's like something inside is gripping your innerds then lets go...then does it again. I work in geriatric medicine so we see all kinda poopy issues.
Also, to stay hydrated and to keep your energy and blood sugar up (which will help you feel less like you want to barf) - boil some rice and drink that milky murky water that is in the pot. Store the rice for some future date when you really can start eating. I know it sounds strange, but drinking the starchy water really will help you feel better.
Hugs.
So sorry to hear you are sick. I agree about Lonny. I was so bored reading it. Nothing interesting.
Regardless of what you have, severe dehydration goes with it. You need to drink COPIOUS amounts of Pedialite, V8 Juice, watered down Gatorade, for liquid & electrolytes. & yogurt. What if your husband went to emergency room? Or would the trip there ruin the car upholstery forever?
OMG...gurrrlll you can talk about your poop all ya want. No issues here. So sorry you are all feelin' ...shitty (HAD to say it) No input for you here though, I am the queen of stomach issues so who knows wth is going on.
Just wanted to add, I hate hate hate my DVR...HATE IT. This is the 2nd week in a row that it has SKIPPED taping my American Horror Story episode! WTF!? It's taping all the other BS on the menu....but not MY ONE AND ONLY program...NOW that is some drama there!
Hope you guys figure out your guts and get better....if not, maybe some Depends would be of benefit....
So sorry about all the sickness.. you got to stop the train..what about a emergency clinic visit to get things under control? take everyone in for a group visit... once you stop the train treat everyone like their systems are made of glass... bland .. rice, toast applesauce take it easy ... then disinfect everything hot water, etc ... I would replace toothbrushes... and anything else like from the days of sickness good luck I hope everyone is feeling better.. as for magazines in print or on line I have given up there is little that is fresh or new or interesting the December issues used to be something to look forward to and enjoy now it is not worth the price of a copy to be disappointed
Try the BRAT diet -- seriously, it's called that. B bananas R rice A applesauce T toast ... it always stops the liquid shietz. Always. It's never failed me or my brood of 6. I've even used the rice water (after I've started making the rice) and added it to our baby's bottle or food. I tell you, girl, it works. You just have to live out the virus but this BRAT diet slows, if not stops, the miserable symptoms completely. Just don't take it too far the other direction. p.s. any juices will encourage liquid shietz because of the processed sugar. Good luck, sister.
omg I am SO sorry! As a long term sufferer of gastro-esophageal reflux and gastritis (the level just under an ulcer), I can sympathize with how much tummy troubles sucks -- BUT since your kiddo and your hubby have Something Evil, it seems most likely that you have some variant of the same deal, don't you think? And I think these things can definitely 'lurk' up to 2 weeks after exposure...
I never post but had to when I saw your description. Look up something called "c diff." it is short for colitis difficile. I had it last year for a month before I was diagnosed and it was horrendous and is contagious. I never would have figured it out on my own...just look it up and see if some of your symptoms match. I got it after taking antibiotics for strep throat. The antibiotics wiped out all of my "good" stomach bacteria and the bad bacteria started multiplying and growing. Basically the first course of antibiotics threw off the balance of bacteria in my stomach. I hardly ate and had the worst runs ever. It was terrible. Check it out...hope this helps.