million dollar D bags.

 holy buttnuts.

save save save!!

that was me whilst writing this dumb recap.


whilst whilst.



here we go:

this week was a real nail biter.

mary almost died bc her hat lady poster was still at the framers.

ross was not gay for 10 seconds.

i finally have a term for the style of decorating i love most:

"LA english".

silly me was calling it "boho traditional".




we open up with mary & her client, jill roberts..

"LA english house"

mary is there to decorate the shit out of jill's spare room

and turn it into a zig zaggy office with art and glamour stuff.


 and then..

martyn and tamara mellon been friends since we were 16.


martyn is there to put some shoes on display and for terrace decoration..


there is a rams head table and a lot of botox..


ross and jeff.

ross is turning 32 ish.

can we talk about how much jeff grosses me out and how ross is slowly becoming my favoritey fave?





kathryn is finally at glowy's beach house...

ok…let me back up.


see if FARTSPACE hadn't deleted my post last week you would know that 'glowy' is my name for that curly headed max factor bitch.  her skin weirds me out bc it glows and not in a dewy cute way but in an ectoplasm way- therefore she is 'glowy'. and she is wormy so sometimes she is 'glow worm'. 


glowy's beach house is terrible tuscan..


kathryn finds it extraordinary how much bad taste is out there.. me too kathryn…me too.


glowy starts doling out the design direction.

kathryn says let me do my fucking job you waxy freak.



mary and larry (nancy) bout to paint an 8000 dollar chevron floor...




 back at the house of wax..


glowy and kathryn are picking out fabrics and ecto is acting like a total ectoplasmic glow worm..



over at LA english..


mary loves the chev jill hates it. but if we know anything about this show we know that mary is always right. 



jeff gets cooking lessons..

who cares.



martyn surveys the shoe boxes...

that shit don't work.



and then NAAATHAN!!!!yaaaynathanmorenathan!!

mary is shopping his store.

mary is pointing at shit.

nathan is being cute.

and then poof!

nathan is gone.


mary leaves and goes to gay bruce jenner's store.  actually his name is benbo.  which is always going to be a gay shop owner or a dog name.



no pictures of him but trust me when i say he looks like this:



and  then

k ire is showing glowy her design boards.  glowy is spewing her ectohate all over everything.  but k ire is good with the fabrics.  i concur.  



jeff is busy not busy setting up for ross's party at some one's malibu beach pad. 

in this one scene it is clear to me that jeff marks is probably a little mentally challenged. 

like forrest gump.



MFAMB=cap'n dan

martyn=box of chocolates





martyn installs the choo boxes..

shoes in boxes is dumb.



ross party...

kathryn shows up in a booby dress and ross reveals his penis wants to enjoy boob sex with kathryn.

full disclosure: i want to see that.




mary is installing jill's office..

the art hasn't arrived.  

don't care.



oops the art arrives.  whatever it's a poster.

jill loves the office.

i love the curtains. 



next week ross eats jeffrey.

glowy flies into a light and sticks to it.

kathryn has sex with her fabric.