million dollar douchers...


here we are!!

after a day of computerless angst..

your recap is unearthed.

like the dead,

or kathryn's design coordinator..


here is k'ire talking to her design coordinator..


aka, joey ramone..


(joey ramone aka kathryn's design coordinator)

..that she is the boss and everyone has to put everything past her, not shannon factor the glow worm.



martyn shows up



i mean martyn shows up



i mean martyn shows up





shows up at daisy fuentes' house to make it less ugly.


 she loves cuba and wants a picture of it on her wall.




no beardy, not that cuba..


this one:

not so delicious.

more like dumblicious.


across town at a restaurant..

ross and jeff fightin' 'bout some lamps...

"peck a fooking lamp JAM!"


ross gets so mad he pulls his hair into a ponytail!!!

ponytails mean bizness.



 martyn's at the print shop gettin that ugly poster..



nathan and susan from one king's lane are about to throw a party with some shit they got in india..

 "shoppin for some shit in india is fun when you can resell it in america for millions!"


at k'ire's.. 

jacqueline rocks our faces off again.

 "stressed? we all stressed! i am stressed...pppfff"

just look at that tremendous outfit.

head scarf- check!

white blouse- check!

throat brooch- check!

crazy- check! check! check!

i love her a lot lot.



 martyn shops for more ugly shit..




back at JAM's ..

there is tension..

forrest gump hides in the butler's pantry, processing decisions:


somewhere on the beach..

kathryn is mad.

glowy is ecto'ing everywhere..

 *throws hands in frustration*


*glows with the hateshine of a million suns*



martyn reveals some beige hotel shit...



nathan preps his pretty party..


kathryn hires a superhero..

*architects mean bizness*



back at the house of tight butts and processing..

jeff is thinkin about sumthin..

actually it's a sad attempt at revenge by threatening rossjenny with hiring an "intern" which is gay decorator code for "someone to give me bj's".

(sidenote- my name is jenny and my brother's name is ross)



time for everyone to go to nate's party!!

mary looks gorgeous. even if her face barely moves.

seriously she's actually laughing hysterically here. 



jeff: you wanna be my beej friend?

cater-waiter: no. you're older than my dad.


yeah, that's about all we get at the party.

jeff creeping out some guy while we all cringe and cover our ears and eyes screaming "MAKE IT STOP!!"..

mary gets a henna tattoo. 

kathryn does a weird and awesome lightbulb dance..



and then all of a sudden we're back at JAM's where we get to watch them take a bubble bath..

* i love sconces and to bounce your balls on the top of my foot underwater, they're so buoyant!*


i promise you andy cohen no one wants to see real life bubble baths..

we didn't want to see that OC skank and her steriody boyfriend in the tub either..

franky i am scarred for life after that one. 

yes, ross is hot..and i am all for a little shirtless hot gay dude once in a while..

but i feel like i am being forced to watch this against my will.


honestly i actually kind of love every single one of these decorators..

except jeff.  he gets on my damn nerves. 

but this show is just super boring.