wake up everybody..it's that dick monday calling!

i hope eveyone had a stellar weekend!


here are some thoughts i am having.

1. fiona is home with me all week which means nothing i plan to happen will fully happen.


2. my period about killed me yesterday.


3.  it's so hot here that the inside of my air conditioned house feels like the inside of guy fieri's butthole.


4.  i generally smell awful at all times (see #3)


5. this is weird and beautiful..

fiona: (knock knock) come outside mommy come outside mommy come outside mommy come outside mommy..

everyone else: we can see you!



6. i can't stop staring at this:


7. the turds are tonight.

recap coming tomorrow.

hopefully (see #1)








 i am on the hunt for wing chairs for my dining room like these..


i think i found them..






i leave for the beach next week so look out for butt updates and bathing suit tears (that's 'tears' as in eye water not 'tears' as in to my perineum when i gave birth)

let's just say that i do not look like this:


a little more like this:


this week will be slow going bc of my race to work out more and eat less.

plus i have 2 recaps to do this week.

you will all have to be satisfied with these things or i will punch you in the buttguts.


i love you all like a fat girl (me) loves everything (but herself).