i dreamt that i woke up with jet black hair.
only not pretty jennifer connelly jet black hair..
it was like local patchouli scented thrift store employee jet black hair with flecks of blue.
it made me look real ugly.
so i went to a small town hair salon that a lot of sloppy, ugly people worked at (they wouldn't judge me).
i needed them to dye my hair back to blonde.
but i knew deep down that this would be a real hard task for people who probably had grocery store hair dyes
in the back room instead of super nice non hair frying expensive smelly goody hair bleaches and dyes.
the kind that are used on rich and famous ladies.
i went in and the sloppies were real nice and they told me they could fix it no problem.
so they bleached it..
and bleached it..
and then there were those little foil squares thrown in and i thought...ok..they know a little bit about some stuff.
and then when that shit was done it looked A LOT like this:
and my face looked like that too. in fact that is me.
but then as if that weren't enough trauma for one person to endure..
it started to turn black again.
every time i looked in the mirror it would get blacker..
and blue tips would emerge.
eventually i was severus snape.
moral of the story?
small town sloppy uglies are sometimes real nice and want to help.
so yeah, my best friend moved away yesterday and thankfully the 6 of you who commented were full of hate and anger toward her too so that was nice to hear.
where were the rest of you assholes?
you don't want to send me hugs and a giant tub of nutella?!!
you will shit all over a picture of circus curtains but you can't leave a comment like,
oh jenny...i am so sorry you lost your friend...here...have this hug in the form of nice words.
just know that i know who you are and you will NOT be picked for my super awesome giveaway later in the month.
(ok there isn't actually a giveaway but i aim to make one up just so that you can NOT be chosen)
and for those of you here for your design star recap you are going to have to wait a little bit.
i will deliver that golden turd tonight or tomorrow.
in the meantime please enjoy the blueness of these spaces that represent my sadness...
and shark week!!!!
images via veranda