calling all gastroenterologists...



i suspect none of you reading are actually poop doctors.

because A. why would a poop doctor be reading a design blog? (is this a design blog? what have i become??!)..

and B. if a poop doctor was reading this surely they would have spoken up by now given the amount of poop talk that goes on around here.



i have made an appointment to see a gastroenterologist because i have had an ongoing stomach issue..

since the beginning of november.

but you all pretty much knew that, right?

i love you so hard. 



so lets talk about it.

because i damn sure don't have any design news to share.



you see the thing's less about poo and more about my gut.

i either have intense nausea or a feeling like someone is punching me hard in the pit of my stomach.

i either have a hard time pooping or i poop like 8 times a day.

i have the usual food triggers that make it worse, like dairy, but i don't eat it anymore so it's not that.

and it's not gerd or heartburn.



here's what i have narrowed it down to...

1. for sure a heart attack. 

2. almost positive it is stomach cancer.

3. 100% garunteed that it's mold sickness.

4. without a doubt it's lyme disease.

5. it is totally an h. pylori infection in my stomach lining.

6. an ulcer probably caused by #5.

7. dying.


so if you know of anything that i forgot i am dying of,  speak up.


and rest assured you will be with me every step of the way through this process.

if i have to have a colonoscopy (deargodpleaseno) or an endoscopy (sweetchristdeliverme) or drink a barium milkshake with all of the above (killmenow)..

i will share all the poopy facts with you.

because that's what friends are for.


(p.s. do not ever in your life google image search colonoscopy).

see? friends!!