here's my garden


isn't it awesome!?

lookit my cabbages and chard!

in gardening we call that prolific. 


here's my art studio/potting shed..



this is on the other side of the shed..

it's perfect bc we never have to mow and the cats love to hide in it.

tra la la la laaaa looooo!!!!



here's the backside of the house..

our pool is the #1 pool in the universe.



here's my fucking geese.


this is our side house arbor with all my PROLIFIC climbing roses..



this is the best place to entertain in the summer and get west nile..



just kidding..none of that shit is true..


this is my real garden..

it hasn't reached prolific status but we have been preparing for this thing for months..

composting since last summer..

planning out the veg situation and researching how to make it a continuous garden through the fall..



i told mike to get new wood for the garden bc i feared the rotting wood would come back to bite us in the ass..

he said "it'll be fine"..

(BIGtime death ray side eye)


here's what i planted:

nantes carr-ots. 





bee-ts in a variety of colors.



3 different kinds of tomatoes.

bc i have TERRIBLE luck with tomatoes.



 idiot proof zucchini and yellow sqaush.


but also onions, collards, little gem lettuces, and arugula.


the warmth came early this year so we'll see what happens..

the ground might be too warm for the carrots and the collards and the lettuces to germinate.

fingers crossed.


for those of you wanting to do a garden..

you need to get on it.

at this point it might be best just to go with the summer crop and eliminate the spring veggies altogether.

like don't even mess with strawberries right now.

or delicate lettuces.

unless u live where it's super cold.

but you still need to get them in the ground, pronto tonto.



plant your tall growing vegetables like tomatoes, beans, corn..on the north end of the garden so they don't shade the other plants.

if possible plant your garden where it gets the most sun in the morning and mid afternoon, 

sort of northeasterly...


like this:



if you're planting from seed (i highly recommend bc it is so satisfying) make sure you thin out the seedlings.

what that means is once all your little seeds have produced little green leaves popping up through the ground you need to pull more than half of them out depending on how many there are.

usually there are a lot..

so just leave about 5-10 seedlings in the ground depending on how big your garden is.

for mine i aim to have about 5-7 plants per variety.

i am very haphazzard with my seed planting bc i let a certain little person with tiny hands put the seeds in the ground.

there will more than likely be quite a few seedlings.

don't worry though, just pull them out and eat them (they are sprouts afterall)..or compost them.

or stick them up your butt.



in the spring with the nights still cool you can water your new garden every other day.

skip 2-3 days after heavy rain.

the little seeds need water but they also need that sunshine to germinate.

think steady but light..and just water til you feel 6 inches of ground has been saturated.

overwatering can cause an immature root system and the plants won't be able to figure out a way to root down into the ground and get their own water.

they're like kids and shit!!!


don't sow your seeds too deep or the sun won't reach them.

once it's all established it's good to let the dirt get a leeettle dry.

once or twice a week.

less is still more.

i am still learning about the bugs and pests and fertilizer and all that..

so i will keep you posted as i learn new things.


also a note about dirt..

i sent my husband to get the dirt to fill the bed and he comes home with 30 bags of topsoil.


topsoil is not ideal for a garden.

but we went to pike and the lady there said as long as we put in plenty of compost and mulch it should be ok.

the reason being is that topsoil becomes impacted and no air can get in there and your vegetables will hate you for that. 

so we got a pike brand that they recommended that contains all of those things and we mixed it in with the topsoil.

for you i recommend that you get a garden soil and compost mixture.

or use your own delicious dirt from your yard.

just make sure to ammend it with the above things.



ok..that about covers the beggining stages.


i will report back once my garden has started to JAY-Z. (produce mega hits)


and by all means share your own tips in the comments section.


garden farts,