i'm not gonna lie..

i'm more than a little excited about the return of the jersey housewives.

how i have missed this fucking clown parade.


we are starting off in such SUCH a good place (terrible place)...


there is double leopard in one shot.



there is the worst apology in the history of apologies.


there is italian menopause.

"we fight big and we make up big"

let's hope they "menopause big".



there are bejewelled monokinis.

and thigh-ginas.



there is talk of a "gorgasm".

i know SOMEONE who jizzed in her pants a little.



there are wolves.



ashley has lohanized herself.

and they're sending her to vegas to live with relatives.

who wants to take bets that she's hustlin at the bunny ranch in less than a week after arrival?

in all seriousness....this is the ONE story line on this show that disturbs me the most..

what 20 year old is not out partying every single night?

sweet jesus!  

i was putting money in fat ladies' garters at the clairmont lounge and doin' blow off a hooker's ass in the bathroom. 

don't send her away.

she'll grow out of it.

she just needs a hug and to work out some of her anger.

too much emphasis is being put on her "bad ways"..on NATIONAL TELEVISION!

bunny ranch.



and finally..

more rosie please.



rosie is a no nonsense lady licker and i love her.


in fact, let ashley stay with rosie for a spell.