i blame MIR

that's mercury in retrograde FYI

and thankfully i don't have to tell you what FYI means.

it's all just code for you don't understand your body, mind and life anymore.



i found it pretty amazing that all of my readers (hi) were not only sympathetic to my wanting to bail this bitch...

but were in the same scary boat to nowhere.


i have been thinking on this for several minutes (approx. 12) each day since the 1982 post.

i wondered if the majority of commenters were over the age of 35.

bc i thought it's certainly possible that a great handful of us are at a certain point in our lives where we just don't know what it's all for.

you know....

all of that existential crap that you hear about in your 20's and early 30's and think about for like, a half a second just before you put on your lip gloss and go out and get slutty drunk.



 is it just a mid life thing?

maybe it's several things.

maybe it IS mercury in retrograde.



let's discuss for a second what MIR is anyway...

first the meaning of the word 'retrograde'..

essentially it means moving backward.

in astronomy it means:

moving in an orbit in the direction opposite to that of the earth in its revolution around the sun



 so what does it mean when they say mercury is in retrograde?


every year, mercury turns retrograde roughly 4 times. 

 it's really just an optical illusion based on the approximate speeds of earth and mercury around the sun.


so is there something to this?


according to astrologers mercury governs thinking and perception, all forms of communication and transportation.


so how does it affect us?


total fucking chaos and bad shit is what.


things like:

personal misunderstandings,  flawed, disrupted or delayed communications, negotiations and trade and breakdowns with phones, computers, cars and train – all of these problems usually arise because some crucial piece of information has gone astray.

(KIEL POLLITT-astrologer person)


fucking mercury!




when is mercury in retrograde, exactly?


ummmm.......right now.


july 14th- august 8th.


after that time shit will begin to settle.





ok so what do we do until that time? 

sit back and let mercury side-fuck our butts?



what do the "experts" say?


according to astrologer kiel pollitt the best approach is a non-reactive one.

as in..



"treat the time period as one of information gathering, as the information will be in constant change"



"allow yourself plenty of time when traveling and practice patience when you feel yourself becoming agitated"



 "mercury retrograde always asks you to review what you have already started rather than to take on anything new"



"once mercury turns direct, you can resume making plans and continue business as usual"



 i don't know how much i truly believe all of this astrology business...

and honestly it would appear that MIR is more about miscommunication and numbers than total fucking brain meltdown.

i mean..

what about when mercury isn't in retrograde and bad shit happens or sadness consumes you day and night?


who or what do we blame then?



for me...

when i feel this way...it is a signal that i need something to change.

but figuring out what that is since marriage, kids, family...settling down...side-tracked career path...

etc...is not so easy.



i've always believed that things happen for a reason if you open your eyes to them.


in other words...when shit happens you can find good in it if you try hard enough.

except when mothers lose their children.

that is something i can never wrap my head around and it's my primary reason for not totally believing in god.

there.  i said it.


shit just got heavy here.


i don't intend to entertain anyone's religious agenda here so don't even bother.

i will cut you out like an infected wound.



what to do?

well, in my 1982 post i mentioned needing to connect with nature again.

 which i still haven't done.

too hot?

too busy? 

too tired?



these pictures remind me of how important it is to do just that.


and how healing it can be...connecting with nature.


for me it is the closest to god i get.


 being outside isn't the answer to our problems, certainly not my own, but i'd like to think that it's a start.

if anything i think it's a great place to just listen to your thoughts and body.

i believe we have all the medicine we require to heal ourselves, mentally and physically.

but man is that hard to invoke!

sure, help is there in the form of drugs and therapy and i certainly won't be the one who takes a shit on that for you.

sometimes they are necessary to start the healing process.

but i am going to try and listen to my inner hippie wisewoman and then take small steps to a better me.

i need to do better. i need to BE better.  

the truth is i am not at all where i thought i would be in my life at this point.

what's more is that i don't think i thought that far ahead after 35.

but here i am...after 35 and i have no idea what i am doing.


whether it's all as simple as mercury in retrograde i don't know..

but i do know that life IS VERY short.


time will tell you that, kids remind you of it and the shame of a housewives marathon smacks you in the face with it.



 in any case i am totally blaming mercury in retrograde for all of my zits.



all images except for FM courtesy of the sick talented jonathan levitt