folks i have had a nasty case of insomnia for the last 2 weeks.  

most nights cracking into the xanax after several hours of lying there awake.

xanax is usually what i turn to after the natural remedies fail me.

for me insomnia is a total domino effect..

i am tired...i i am reading i start to nod off...

i put my book down and then turn out the light.

i roll over into my sleep position (on my side with a pillow between my legs if you must know) i say my prayers (don't laugh) and usually...USUALLY i am asleep before i finish "god please help all the homeless baby animals and cancer children"...

but prayers are interrupted with worries and a racing heart.

there is no one thing in particular that is on my mind..

the thoughts are usually random and nothing that i can't rationalize and move past from.


and yet, there i am at 2:00 AM wide the machinist...


in fact much of the time i have to get this image out of my head.

(and now you do too)

if you haven't seen this movie...the machinist...


it's a horrible movie i saw 10 years ago and it's about a man (christian bale) who hasn't slept in over a year and thinks he's losing his mind.

and every time i get the ernsermnia i fear that i too won't be able to sleep for a year and i will go crazy and die.



 i believe the reason i can't because i can't sleep.

does that make sense?

this is the domino effect i am talking about..


it usually starts off innocent enough...

the night before a trip.

adjusting to the new school schedule.

worrying about an audition in the morning.

all enough to create a little insomnia for the sanest of people..

but then there i am in bed, on the night after a sleepless night ready to sleep..

 i doze off, put the book down and the worries of 'am i going to sleep tonight?' plague me.

and guess what?

hahahahaha i don't sleeeeep!!



does anyone else suffer so?

any tips and tricks you care to share?

i've tried every herbal remedy in the universe.

plus hot baths and tea...and xanax works better for me than sleep aids..bc i am not NOT tired..

i am anxious.


i am on a slow boat to insaneville people...

help me.



melatonin farts,