day 13
Friday, January 4, 2013 at 9:07AM
so on wednesday morning i put fiona in the car and drove her to school.
we were a little later than usual bc after the holidays who knows what fucking time it is let alone what day..
but when we pulled up to the school not one single car was there. (wow we were REALLY late)
the cones weren't out. (we were now in the getting written up zone)
no sign of life. (wait a minute....)
doors locked. (fuck self)
SINCE WHEN IS WINTER BREAK SIXTEEN DAYS LONG?!
lucky me i work from home but what do you 9-5 ers do with your kid at these times?
the christmas presents have lost their luster and i am getting screamed at for just about everything.
yesterday's walk in the freezing cold wasn't such a great idea..
until we got to the playground...
thank god for playgrounds.
and wine.
and television..
like..
MILLION DOLLAR DOUCHERATORS..
how many times did you choke back vomit when JAM talked about how hard it was to decorate entirely from catalogs?
but then you were clapping like a pre teen mom at a one direction concert when you saw that shit go down west elm style...
but then you vommed again when he "just had to" buy that 10,000 bench.
apparently the word "entirely" as in "decorate my house entirely from catalogs" really means "except when you see a local boat for sale, then nail that to the wall in the corner of my great room. or missoni chairs, buy those too".
in his defense...he's totally right.
you can't decorate a house entirely from catalogs and think it's not going to look like it's been decorated entirely from catalogs.
you gotta have a few antiques floating around in there to make it special..
but a 10,000 dollar bench is face punching territory.
and as for those chairs- he could have bought cheap-ish directors chairs and had them recovered in a missoni look-a-like fabric for a lot less.
but whatever, these people have a house on the ocean in nantucket...what the hell were they doing decorating from catalogs anyway?
OH!! i know!!!!
....if they used west elm in the show west elm would pay for everything.
got it.
rich people are the luckiest.
hey west elm...
i will decorate my house using ONLY west elm products and document it here on my blog if you pay for it.
moving on..
because we all need to see this again today..
so much has happened!!
jude is judy again and she's getting a taste of her own medicine.
homegirl got the juice last night and hard.
now she's in one flew over the cuckoos nest territory.
eunice is dead as is dr. arden.
grace is alive again and pepper is in charge.
this show lost all it's scary factor and just moved into hilariously nuts.
also started watching this show..
why is all tv so intense?
whatever happened to touched by an angel?
it is really no wonder people murder each other these days with such ease.
AAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!
QUICK! QUICK!!
kitty paws KITTY PAWS!!!!
baby panda waving..BABY PANDA WAAAVVVING!!!!!!
whew..
that's better.
one more for the road..
baby animals make everything better.
Reader Comments (36)
I am with you sister. I've also had one more kid and a husband at home on "holiday". Stab me in the eye with a fork. I just get the breakfast dishes done and they are asking for lunch.
Husband wanted to know where all the NYE champagne cocktail mix went.
That's right. I drank it all. By myself. No you cannot share my Christmas chocolate. Why don't you take the kids bowling or to the movies since you've gone golfing like 800 times.
Whew. I feel better.
I'd love it if MDD just made it the Ross show. More Mary too. And the French maid. What's her name? And where is my wine? :)
Laughed out loud when I read the line about "Touched by an Angel"... so true, Roma Downey and Della Reese, my mom loved that show. Happy New Year! Love the new look!
side note: I,by chance, watched Masterpiece Wuthering Heights last night and I wish the baby animals would take away the upset I now feel over having to go the rest of life without Tom Hardy's mouth on me.
This made me laugh out loud....especially by the time I got to the kitty paws picture. I had to come back to work on Wednesday this week and everyone is all "it's a new year! Things are so great! 2013 is going to be MY year!"
You know, poop farts all over that shiz. I've felt like poo all week. I'm in a funk.
So this helped. Thanks for that.
Also, my husband is a teacher and is off until next Tuesday. Most of the parents put their kids in the YMCA day camp (he works that when he's not teaching). Shit is like $25 a DAY. How they can afford it (esp. the ones with 3 kids) I have no idea. But, you gotta do what you gotta do I guess. Babiez be pricey.
Have a great weekend!!
that "name game" scene was genius! i'm very curious as to how this season will wrap up.
Jenny, Jen, Gin... as usual, you are right! Thankfully my two monkeys were due back in school this week. In the natural order of my life bugger if one didn't start the year with the latest virus and has had me building lego robots for two days. My saving grace came in the form of leftover New Years champagne (I know, leftover what?!) and a Christmas episode of "Call the Midwife" that I somehow missed in all the holiday hullabaloo. Leave it to Chummy to make everything better. Cheers!
I feel you.Thank god for playgrounds, wine, and baby animals.
In regard to Million Dollar Decorators.... Can someone help me out here? I told my husband I bet Mary McDonald is in her 60's and he's like "no way!" Obviously she has had some work done and is totally fab... Did I make that up? Any help?
Give breaking bad a chance, its beyond awesome. And I dont even really like intense TV!
As for MDD, I cant watch it. It makes me want to throw up.
I am so with you on all of the above!!
One thing I read about this weeks MDD - that HGTV paid $200,000 for Kathryn to decorate Lindsay's place!!! Urgh.... just as bad as having West Elm pay for the other house!!!!
Let's see some real decorating in real homes!!!!!
I didn't notice that bench in the final reveal...
Thanks for helping me start the day with a good laugh. I'm a teacher torn between staying home three more days with my own three kids, or returning to face my class of 20. Lady or the tiger...? I may take the class of 20. At least, most of them listen when I talk. My own? Not so much...
That it all...
Best,
Allison
We're watching season 1 Homeland. Goddamn I love me that Damian Lewis, small mouth and all. I hate Claire Danes. I've always hated her. But at least on the show I feel like the powers that be kinda of know that about her, how hate-worthy she is, and have made her character totally unlikeable and insane and that it's really OK to hate her on this show. tee hee. Poor Claire. I've been mad at her ever since she took up with Billy Crudup while Mary Louse Parker was preggo.
So J went back to school, and the THE NEXT DAY was back at home b/c she has a canker sore, and her "back was itchy". WTF???? Just had a glimpse of freedom baby!!
love that you didn't know school hadn't started!!! funny girl. ok seriously.....i am in a breaking bad haze. it's truly an amazing show. i am only in the middle of season 2 - it makes me nervous and i hyperventilate because like dexter, i don't want him to get caught. the acting is sublime. it's fantastic. b.bad. oh yes. b.bad. would love your synopsis of b.bad. xo
I was feeling rather blue inside today and then I read this post and you made me LAUGH. You have no idea how much I luv u!
heather- chummy DOES make it all better. i can't wait to watch my recorded episode.
meg- BB is awesome! don't get me wrong...it's just that everything is so intense!! every show worth watching is so hard to watch these days. serial killers that you root for?!, meth cookers with cancer trying to make ends meet?! terrorists and bipolar crazies? at least we have downton coming up! rich people oblivious to life's realities. that's more like it.
anon- you're right. i scoured the internet for a pic too. and it wasn't even that interesting of a bench. it wasn't like it was some amazingly comfy buttery leather lounge chair. it was a fucking hard ass bench with a white cushion.
MDD--so much fun, even if I, like you, can see right through their crazy brand pitching and product placement. Sigh. I guess it's called Million Dollar Decorators for a reason, even though Penny-pinching, Only Able to Dream About Decorating Veiwers are the bulk of the audience.
jbhat
I don't have kids, but in my office it seems like most parents use their vacation days around the school holidays.
As for MDD. I'm getting kind of annoyed with this season - first, because it seems like they're all working on fake or sponsored projects, and second, because when did every room start looking like a boring hotel lobby? I really love JAM's retail work, but his residential designs have been a snoozefest for me. But I DID love that he chose the same West Elm chest of drawers that I have. I was let down by Mary's hall, too. I just want more innovative, exciting designs (but not patent leather curtain-style innovation, just pretty stuff like the store Mary designed earlier this season).
I love your MDD commentary.
I'll have to try Breaking Bad - you always give good entertainment recommendations.
About halfway through this week's AHS I said to my hubs that I didn't want to watch it anymore, because it was getting to be too much horror and nothing to hope for. I wanted to see Jude vs the Devil in the heavyweight championship fight. I thought the priest was not a worthy adversary - he is weak. I feel like he couldn't have done it if Sister Mary Eunice hadn't stepped up and done 90% of the work. Anyhoo, the episode got a bit more hopeful in the second half. And I loved that musical number to pieces. Jessica Lange can do anything. She kills me every time.
Oh my god, THE PANDA!!!!
Our break wasn't 16 days long, but my kids were BOTH home sick for SEVEN days before the break started, so.....No work got done. Two days left, you can do it.
My son's winter break was 19 days long. NINETEEN FUCKING DAYS! He went back to school yesterday. On a Thursday. He only has a half day on Thursdays! FUCK! 19 days off, and he goes back for a day and a fucking half and is home again for the weekend. They may as well have made it a full 3 weeks and sent them back on Monday.
My hubby and I totally love Breaking Bad. We watched all 5 seasons in two weeks maybe? Watched season 5 during our flights to and from Vegas in November... On the iPad. It's flipping' good. And evil... great acting...
Let me know when u see wifey walk into the swimming pool. I feel like doing that some days...
Enjoy! I'm here if you have questions.
You be so funny. I cannot figure out why you ate not the most popular blog out there.
What? No cracks about Kathryn Ireland trying to shove her entire head up the Lohan's bum? The promos for next weeks show Ireland having a near breakdown because her dear friend, the Lohan, had her 783rd car wreck. Did she adopt her and we weren't told? And when is she going to get some dentures? That crone look is not good.
I have enjoyed this season with clients getting pissy about the cost of stuff. I'm waiting for one of them to pass out cold when presented with the bill. And Mar-Tyn gagging in his sister's ratty pub was priceless.
Oh my god that panda needs to be in my lap right now.
That is a long ass winter break! I wish I could have a paid winter break that long. My work doesn't even give us fucking holidays off, paid or unpaid. Bullshit.
TV is sooo intense these days! They should give you a reality show. Then it would be hilarious and awesome. And not douchetastic.