houzwives talk

why does everyone say "real houzwives".

instead of houSEwives.

 that shit bothers me.

do you notice it?

it's like they have to say it bc the soft 's' in housewives when said into a microphone in a recording studio will blow your eardrums out.

because (kyle) why else would they all (kyle) say 'previously on the real houZwives of beverly hills'...kyle!


let's figure some shit out...


first of all..


we'll always have paris and kim's not fucked up fucked upness.

it was hilarous when she was like, oh i thought this alcohol was actually my peach colored horse water pill. 

i mean, she was fucked up right?

we're not crazy here. right?


yolanda is the worst. but also seems like a nurturing person, for such a terrible person.

every time she calls david "my love" i hit myself in the face like rainman.

and guess what yolanda...you marry millionaires.  for their money.

you're not fooling anyone.



fun fact: 

i based my 'swedish official' character that i auditioned for the other day on yolanda. 

giving zero fucks about the fact that she's dutch, not swedish.


marisa and "maurice" (it's fucking mauricio. never forget) agree to sell richard zanuck's house for a "fair" 23 million. 


fun fact #2:

i actually auditioned for richard zanuck. 

he looked like a skeleton.

not like a skinny brandi skeleton but like a guy that has a total skeleton face.

which is probably why tim burton liked him so much.

also- i hate marisa. 



kyle opens a store where she can sell all of the brightly colored kaftans the world has to offer.

which is a lot.


let's talk about the store name for a second. 

kyle: by alene too.


first of all it makes no sense unless your name is alene.  or kyle. 

second of all it sounds like it should be for children.

third of all it's in a warehouse.

and fourth of all...glitter kaftans.


and last but not least..

the return of dana.

who drinks.

a lot.

and smokes capris.




i will leave you with this glamorous picture of faye and her kyle by alene too dress..



 you're welcome.




p.s. come back tomorrow for i will be offering up some new paintings in my shop.