where was i yesterday? *updates

well, i wasn't gardening, that's for sure. 


bc who wants to garden when it's 37 degrees outside?


no one that's who. 


i was working on a bathroom for a client and painting some pretties for other clients, but that's beside the point..


do you ever have one of those days where you wake up just feeling like a dick covered in poop?


where you think, wow...i must have eaten too much cheese (which i never eat usually)?

or maybe that non gluten free tortilla really is killing me slowly?


yesterday was tough for me bc of maybe one of those things up there.

i think it's time for a spring cleaning. 

of my body.


i am 43 which is 185 in dog years and dog years are basically mom years.

and if you're a mom (or just old in general) you know what i mean.

it means that even though i am 43 i feel like i am 185 most of the time.


and i blame it on my diet.


i eat a great dinner. (mostly) well balanced. prepared by me using only organic ingredients.

sometimes (once a week) i eat a big salad with loads of nutritious vegetables and nuts and things for lunch.

but mostly i snack on think thin bars.

like, that's it.

all day.

not so smart.

and not so thin. 


does this sound familiar?


if so, congratulations.

you are treating yourself like shit.

and your self is paying you back in low energy, lame brained-ness and probably cancer.


the thing of it is this..

i am busy.

busy is good but if you're busy you need to be really healthy to keep up and to enjoy the busyness.

otherwise you just want to lay in bed and forget about all the things you need to get done.

but it's the busy that is keeping me from eating well.

and i am smart enough to know better.


i take the time every day to exercise (unless i am suffering from some kind of malady- see above) but i rarely take the time to fix myself a nutritious meal?

that's like polishing your car but never changing the oil.


 and we all know your body is a machine that needs proper fuel to run like a mercedes.

and right now we are a 1987 yugo, 1971 ford pinto at best.



so, i am not a proponent of cleanses in general.

bc i've never known anyone to not get sick as balls after starting a cleanse.

they are really tough on your body.

and most people don't do them correctly.

the correct way of doing a cleanse is just to cut out 1 or 2 things that you shouldn't be eating and don't change anything else.

and then after 2 weeks, you can add something like a green juice.  because that in and of itself is highly detoxifying.


no-no's include:

all processed foods

suspicious to you food intolerances:



protein based foods:

*eggs and meat


and for god's sake never do all of the above and add green juices to the mix.

that's a recipe for disaster.


and then to top it all off most people do the serious cleanse and then do nothing to help facilitate the drop off of toxins...the herx effect can be very serious for some people and it would be wise to take steam showers and epsom salt baths several times a day.  of course NO ONE does that.  bc who has that time?

but it's part of the detox process.  those toxins have to go somewhere!

and the skin is our biggest detoxifying organ, duh!!!



so what am i going to do about it?

consult the gooper of course.



go ahead and put those freshly rolled eyeballs back in your head.


you know you lovehate the goop.


i certainly do.


she had me at "DELICIOUS, EASY recipes that will make you LOOK GOOD and FEEL GREAT"

emphasis on the everything.



also, she has 40,000 zucchinis behind her which either means she gives us 40,000 recipes for all those summer zucchinis your garden produces or she sticks them up her butt.

i am all for either.


book is on pre-order.

if you order now it's only $17.39.



so my plan is this:

back to my working-for-me no dairy, no gluten diet.

eating 3 healthy meals a day or if there's little time for lunch i will at least vow to eat a healthy snack.

and drink more water. (i think this might be my biggest problem)


who's with me?




* a note about eggs.

eggs are the world's most perfect food.

we should be eating eggs every day, or at the very least several times a week.

but if you are sensitive to them you are lacking sufficient enzymes to help you digest them and/or you are cooking them too much.  heating the egg protein alters it's chemical shape. the distortion is what forms the allergic reaction.  also ONLY buy organic eggs.  not free range. free range is a bullshit term that means nothing.

***read this about eggs for the truth about eggs