over hill, over dale

i'm sure many of you look at real estate listings in price ranges you can't afford.  

that's normal, right?

what about foreign countries?

totally normal, right?

thought so.

well...i found my house.

surprisingly it's not that expensive.

about 600k USD.

i don't have that kind of playdough but if you do..

here you go.

only don't buy it or i will beat you to death. 

unless you intend on buying it for me...then THANK YOU!!!!!


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it's in north yorkshire in the middle of nowhere basically so it could only truly be a vacation house for us because we have a school aged child.

and i have no business homeschooling anyone. 

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i don't love the stone floors because COLD!

but they are original so i guess i sort of have to love them?

but i do love everything else.

(apart from the horrifying furniture and spice colored wall)


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bonus points for the aga. 

zero points for the picnic table and speckled granite counters. 

the honey finish on the cabinets has to go too.

on the fence about the beams being so dark. 

it seems of a period but maybe in an oppressive way.  



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what would you call that color?



bloody diarrhea?

and you're not helping anyone too-small-rug. 

still not loving the dark beams. 

 if they had a theme song it would be the this

it would play every time someone walked into the room. 


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yes, you'll have to look past the short bus curtains and pine everything furniture..

but what a cozy room. 

why would you try to cover those windows?!?!

it's not like anyone's actually removing those beauty queen sashes to close them.

useless curtains drive me bananas.  so do curtains that don't fall on the floor. 

this room in general just doesn't need curtains or any window treatment for that matter. 

also present..one of my all time least favorite decorating tricks..

sticks in a vase..or in this case...URN. 


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ditto the last image. 

but the real reason this is my dream house apart from the charm of the interior minus a few honey colored items..is this:

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i know. 


this is yorkshire and it's my favorite place ever. 


here's what the listing tells us about the property:

The property has been the subject of an extensive and sympathetic programme of restoration and modernisation by the current owners over the last few years who have successfully retained much of its inherent character and charm including the stone mullioned windows, stone flagged and stripped wooden floors, some exposed stone walls and a wealth of beams. Yet, they have incorporated the modern refinements to enjoy such
as a bespoke handmade kitchen with a Rayburn. The tastefully decorated and well presented accommodation is approached on the ground floor
through an entrance hall which leads to a sitting room with a multi fuel Aga stove and useful understairs cupboard, a study area with a useful store off and a farmhouse kitchen with a range of bespoke oak units with granite work surfaces over and a Rayburn cooker. To the first floor a landing gives access to three bedrooms and a bathroom. 

Outside, the property is approached up
a private cart track where there is a five bar gate giving access to the front of the house. There is a two storey barn adjoining the property with potential for further accommodation if so desired subject to any necessary consents and
permissions. The gardens enjoy a southerly facing aspect and provide private parking with raised beds and a terraced area beyond. Dry stone walls then
lead to the Croft where there is a pond adjoining the beck.


"tastefully decorated and well presented" ...hmm...well, not in my opinion but again, that matters not a fuck because i would change a good bit of it..


sort of like this:




pure fantasy. 

in reality that shit would be all jacked up with ikea and local junk shop fare. 

but it'd still be awesome and you'd be impressed.