AHS recap

i suppose we are all here to commiserate on a shitty finale?

there were a few highs (knotty pine) but mainly it was filled with horrendous lows (stevie nicks music video opening montage).

mostly i would like a do-over.  i would like david lynch to come back and re-shoot the entire season. 

from the get-go this season wasn't scary enough or creepy enough for me.  i'm sure it never had any intention of being scary.  it seemed aimed to please a different audience this year.  a younger one?  a more mainstream one?  i mean the opening credits were the scariest thing about it and the episodes never lived up to that level of fright.  admit it, those AHS opening numbers are creepy as fuck!


but the real issue, the most annoying tidbit this season for me were the plot gaps and disappearing story lines from episode to episode.  


about 5 minutes into the episode i said...it's cordelia.  i think i mentioned that before here and i am certain a fair number of you did too.  sure, they tried to throw you for a loop here and there but at the end of the day....could anyone else have been the supreme?


misty?  too soft.  

zoe? too stupid.

madison? too much like fiona.

queenie- a strong contender in terms of a deserving and solid supreme.

nan?  maybe. 

i think i started to truly think it was cordelia when marie leveau came to the house to join forces and fiona started beating the shit out of her (cordelia) on the reg.   it HAD to be her!  so pathetic.  so tortured.  never truly using her powers because she was too afraid living in the shadow of her supremely powerful mother.   

i just hated the way it came to pass.  myrtle tells her casually over tea?   i mean all that was missing was myrtle smacking herself in the head a la "i could have had a v8!?"  "OF COURSE YOU ARE THE NEXT SUPREME!! BECAUSE DUH!!!!"    really?

so she and her ping pong ball eyes take on the 7 wonders with ease.  and when she brings zoe back to life...poof...she's beautiful again.   it happened right,  it just happened so fast that it felt forced and stupid.  like the stevie nicks 1980's music video opening number.  i almost turned the tv off after that.  

and poor misty.  so, the lesson here is sorry you're so kind and nice and can't kill or hurt anything...but you have to spend the rest of eternity reliving your worst fear?   that seems fucked up.  


the 7 wonders bits were fun.  i enjoyed them in the same way i enjoy makeovers on tv shows.

but nothing, none of it saved this season for me.


there was a moment, at the end, when i got extreme goosebumps...when fiona wakes up in her knotty pine cabin, for a second...i thought it was the house from season 2.  the alien house.  

i was saying.. "OH MY GOD!  OH MY GOD!"  and then the axeman showed up and i was like, oh. never mind.   anyone else think that?  


overall it felt convoluted and the whole season's resolve felt forced and crammed into the final hour. 

i was happy to see kyle become the new spalding. 

i was happy to see fiona turn into gollum. 

i was happy that queenie and zoe became the council leaders. 

i was not happy that they televised the coven or that 5,000 girls came to the door.  seems a bit odd to go from 4 to 5,000. 

the real bummer for me is, very early on i lost all ability to care for any of these characters and what happened to them.   that fault goes to the writers.

next season (of COURSE i will watch) they better bring back the scary.