i don't watch superbowls.
but apparently when they are complete blowouts no one else does either.
i watched downton. it was nice. kinda boring. but easy. like a picnic on a warm day with only a few bugs landing on your fried chicken.
here are my thoughts:
alfred gets the understudy letter of his dreams. he will be playing the part of top chef after all.
sadly, not even toast can keep alfred in his seat, let alone daisy's homely face.
could he have tried to get out of there any faster? i'm guessing that if it weren't for carson reminding him to say his goodbyes to the family, that goofy ginge would have been out of there faster than jimmy searching for ivy's vagina via her mouth.
rose is finalizing plans for lord grantham's birthday party. get ready for your present OF A BLACK PERSON! i found it a little weird when jack ross showed up and everyone was all..cool! a black person is here! this isn't weird at all.
except when carson asked him why he didn't move to africa.
that carson. such an adorable racist.
"call me cora" cousin cora continues to sit around in a lithium haze. except when she rescues her staff from the ultimate embarrassment at fancy restaurants.
thomas is still sending baxter to eavesdrop and report back. not sure why baxter just doesn't say " i got nothin." like, would it be so hard to lie?
bates and anna seem happier. if by happy you mean just slightly better than being raped and not being able to talk about it.
they decide to enjoy a nice evening out at a restaurant they aren't fancy enough to attend. i was glad and surprised bates didn't take his rage out on the assfaced maitre'd. did he really say "i want to murder"? where i come from that's considered a giant red flag for MURDERING SOMEONE!
thankfully cora comes over and pulls an abe froman.
lady mary has a new guy to roll her eyes at and then have sex with. charles blake. it's good for mary. it's how i like my mary. stone cold bitchy slut. lord knows i won't tolerate her with a dude named evelyn.
speaking of slutty! that rose wasted no time getting kissy with jack ross, who sings like a toddler pretending to be a man.
uncle harold wrote a letter. uncle harold is played by paul giamatti. that's all that matters.
molesley took a job serving servants. molesley should just kill himself.
so should edith. seriously she should just sylvia plath herself in mrs. patmore's prized oven. she's pregnant and i can't honestly think of anything good coming from this. other than a (maybe) beautiful baby. but by downton standards no woman with a baby can a.) have a husband who is alive. b.) have a husband, period. or c.) live.
the best part of this kinda boring episode was the dowager/isobel showdown.
so much good shit flew out the dowager's mouth this week.
and frankly, it's just nice to see the two of them pretend to hate each other. because you know they don't. i DO NOT like what i see coming next week. and that is a sick dowager.
tom still wants to leave downton, but at least we know that it has little to do with fitting in and everything to do with getting laid.
i still have high hopes that mary will slide down tom's maypole at some point.
also next week...the return of rapey green! in my version he comes back and a seriously hard up thomas hate fucks him in the larder.
a girl can dream.
what were your thoughts?
were you as blissfully satisfied as i was?