downton bye

"that's a doll"- fiona

i feel like i should say something about the final episode of probably my favorite show ever. 

but i'm sort of sitting here wondering what i just watched.

it felt like riding a roller coaster straight up into infinity. 

i'm not sure that's a good thing. 

the truth is i never gave the end of this show much thought. 

i mean no predictions or anything like that. maybe i was in denial. 

i guess i knew in some way that everything was going to be wrapped up with a pretty bow,

but i didn't expect to feel like i was watching an episode of touched by an angel meets the brady bunch (daisy and that hair dryer/hair cut was 1000 shades of jan brady).

and not one but TWO illnesses?

one of which was a bit of a mystery- parkinsons? if so that's NOT NOTHING CARSON! the other incurable anemia which sounds like the exact opposite of real.


at one point i screamed "tiny tim is about to come out and say 'god bless us everyone'."


and i guess it isn't so much the predictable outcomes as the speed in which we got there.

it felt sort of like a spoof.  

i was half expecting claire huxtable to come out and read larry and ameila grey. 


i know in my heart i probably wouldn't have wanted anything to happen in any other way than it did happen, though i suppose if denker or amelia grey got hit by a bus i wouldn't have cared too too much (possibly preferring the claire huxtable scenario). 

and i suspect i will watch this again and grow to appreciate it. (maybe?)

but the truth is i expected to at least shed some tears. ok, a LOT of tears. 

yet there was only the slightest, imperceptible lump when barrow said goodbye and edith came down the stairs in her dress. 

for me crying is passage into healing.

as it stands i mostly felt....nothing.  


all the same, the things i will miss are the things i loved most about the show anyway...

the house. the locations. the clothes and the characters. each of them (except for bates UGH!) equally. 

nothing will ever replace downton for me. 

a piece of me resides inside of it. maybe you too. 


what did you think?