the feels

1. my coffee situation sucks. my shattered chemex (it was bound to happen sooner or later) means using my old bialetti which has lost it's rubber ring and spews coffee water all over my stove every goddamn day and the coffee itself pours murky and gray. why haven't i bought a new chemex you ask? or a new bialetti? bc i am still looking for the mercedes of coffee makers. i have no clue what the fuck that is though. everyone has a different opinion on the matter and what i need to do is find a research lab where all the coffee makers on earth come out and make coffee for me and then i can decide. does that seem like a TALL order? but i also haven't bought one because life in general feels so overwhelming lately that even the simple task of buying a coffee maker feels equivalent to buying a house.

2. 2 cats = i clean the litter box a lot. which i gotta tell you is my least favorite thing about cats.

3. i use a lot of paper towels. not for cleaning poop. just in general and i feel like i am singlehandedly destroying our planet. 

4. my boobs hurt 20 days out of the month. my period makes no sense anymore. 

5. i need a rug pad but would rather buy every ouai product. 

6. my kid had a meltdown because i moved the christmas tree to another spot this year. saying it was better in the other spot and how there's no room to move. i told her "no ma'am" this is where it was staying and to go to her room. screaming and "you're stupid" were involved so please don't think i sent her to her room for voicing her opinion. but she never listens and goes to her room so i have to walk with authority (read fast walking with deliberate clomping) and almost fall on my padless rug en route to show her that i, in fact, am the boss. also i think she was right about the tree.

7. i just painted our sitting room this color and it's amazing. but now i want new art, a new lampshade, new pillows etc... first world problems. i get it. i'll post pics as soon as i get the room situated with all the christmas. 

8. it's true what they say, the neck is the first thing to go. my advice to you: strap on a neck brace for every moment you aren't in public. it's too late for me. save yourself. 

9. i want kim kardashian's perfume and i feel i need an intervention. 

10. i find myself tuning out important issues like the current state of EVERYTHING because it's just too much. but i don't feel like this is the right choice and then i feel disconnected and i fall down the rabbit hole of social media to numb the pain only the funny thing is social media makes me feel inferior and sad and gives me major FOMO. i just don't know what to do.

11. you = read a book. me = what book?

12. seriously though i can't wrap my head around why donald trump is still president and sometimes, SOMETIMES i think there are these other, REAL people in power that are pulling the strings and he is just there to cause a distraction. like maybe there is an alien war going on in space and the real leaders need us to focus on our "fake" president and the "fake" feud with that other "fake" leader kim jong un so that we don't see the aliens. 

i am sorry for not talking to you guys more.