oscars looks

i don't know what people were smoking but i hated 99% of the shit i saw. also the show is always too long and i end up missing the last 3 awards because i forget to record it with an extra hour. so now i'm mad and i'm taking it out on everyone...

 

viola-davis.nocrop.w710.h2147483647.jpg

 it's a pretty color on her, every color looks amazing on this woman. but she couldn't walk in it and that's all i noticed when she came out on stage. then i noticed it's old time-y bathing suit vibes. that and that it resembles gum. 

 

tiffany-haddish.nocrop.w710.h2147483647.jpg

yeah yeah. i get it. no need to give the story behind it. i know. still hate it. 

 

 can someone give her a vitamin drip? i don't hate the dress (i might though) but only angie can get away with this type of sequined matronly fuckery. i would have loved to have seen her in something a little more form fitting with a LOT more color on her face. 

 

nicole-kidman.nocrop.w710.h2147483647.jpg

she looks like a commemorative barbie. 

 

maya-rudolf.nocrop.w710.h2147483647.jpg

 this was my least favorite. NOTHING about this is good. nothing. just the woman in it. love her forever. 

 

 

GettyImages-927385212-768x1016.jpg

fuck you. 

 

 

so fucking boring right?  the equivalent of a tory burch flat. 

 

 

GettyImages-927425332-768x1007.jpg

can someone please explain this to me? i flat out think this shit is monumentally hideous. 

 

even her face is mocking this bullshit oscar look. i'm not opposed to pants just bc they're pants. but these pants don't fit. and that's important.

 

 

AP_18064008572806.jpg

 margot robbie could probably literally wear anything but her red carpet looks are always so forgettable.

also it needs to be said that white is always going to conjure bridal and this is less actual bride and more wedding cake topper bride. and they both can never be erased from your mind once you see it. i'd totally make out with her though. 

 

 

GettyImages-927276004.jpg

i just can't not see a bullet holster. she is unfuckingbelievable looking though. she might be the cutest person on earth.

 

 

AP_18063801436658.jpg

there is a lot wrong here. but the number one wrong is that he covered the most amazing ass i've ever seen. rude. 

 

Gal-Gadot.jpg

this is a case of everything BUT the dress. as in everything but the dress sucked. i mean she doesn't suck. she's wonder woman. 

 

ok now for the looks i sort of liked. emphasis on sort of. 

 

GettyImages-927301688.jpg

i don't know. it's a bold choice that works for her? i would've appreciated this more without the head piece. i fucking LOVE the shoes though. 

 

 

GettyImages-927431806-768x988.jpg

in pictures this isn't so great. also UPS vibes. but when she floated out on stage it just looked so ethereal and pretty. and it's just bold enough to stand out and be a pretty memorable look whether you hate it or not. i mean it's brown for fuck's sake and she looks good in it. kudos to her. 

 

i still can't decide if i like this. i thought i did and then i thought no it's too pink. and she's pink and the shoes are pink. and gum vibes like viola but with less chemicals and yet, i don't hate it. maybe if lupita were in this? high five for rocking my hair cut though. maybe that's why i don't hate it. 

 

Emily-Blunt.jpg

this is kind of giving me dracula wedding feels but she looks so pretty. so i'll just sit here on this fence with it. 

 

the looks i loved...

 

 

AP_18064023495092.jpg

i think best she's ever looked. smoking hot. 

 

GettyImages-927234020.jpg

this dress suits her and FITS her perfectly. 

 

 

Jane-Fonda.jpg

honestly. like slow clap building to full on applause great. 80 years old ya'll. 

also jane fonda like totally knows exactly what looks good on her and has actual great taste. it's a winning combo. 

 

 

Eiza-González.jpg

i have no idea who this is but good lord. i mean if i stare at it too long i might think it's a little pageant-y...and her talent is looking good in yellow. and the top part of the dress and color might be a little swimsuit-y. but it fits her...like wow. also the jewelry is just enough and the hair and make up are total perfection. i can't stop staring at her. 

 

but best dressed for me goes to...

 

 

9f7519dbc285a9584607b6427701ecda193807e2f32619359804a307cd0cb116-1024x1024.jpg

come to mama. every time he came on the tee vee i was uncomfortable in a good way. 

 

what say you?