heat melts brains as evidenced by last night's post..

1.  bentley did NOT return to shit on ashley's face last night.

they are drawing out that nugget for next week.

though it was nice that they spent the majority of the night focused on man bodies.



2. MDD is never on mondays.

it is always on tuesdays.

therefore let's say a prayer that DICKSPACE doesn't delete my post.


3.  i can't sleep anymore.

for the last 2 weeks i get in bed and my brain pretends it's on crack and runs around

hopped up on crack.

plus it's hot.

hot crack brain.

and during the day my throat hurts and my head hurts and there are heat boogers in my nose.

like tiny daggers and liquid lava in my skull crevices.

and at night..

no sleep.





example of last night's thought process:

it's so hot what if it never rains again and we become like mars, or guy fieri's stomach?

hot and acid-y.

why is my nose always running?

this house is full of mold and we are all getting lung cancer right now! 

each of us dying in our sleep.


it just goes on in this ridiculous way.




and then my mom was in the hospital with scary stuff happening to her

and no one likes when their mom is hurt.

she is home now but she still has to endure things like 'plasma exchange' every other day until 

who knows when.

and yes, plasma exchange is real and it can save you but it's not fun.


accepting donations of xanax, brown liquor, money and magic.


this post brought to you by the sun and guy fieri's backwards sunglasses.




some things...


those walls are painted and textured to look like velvet.

i like it.


also it's real hot here.

i am actually inside my fridge right now.




the producers begged bentley is coming back tonight to shit on ashley's face.

it will be the most dramatic rose ceremony ever times infinity!



in conclusion..

here's to hoping i can post tomorrow's MDD recap before FARTSPACE deletes it.



see ya real soon!



 i am obsessed with this den..

my own den is small.

this small.

and couchbed, kilim, padded wall, sconce, striped, floral pillow is the way i want to go.


 budget and choking on mold dust from padded walls will keep me from it.






i am going to make some lampshades.

that is complete fucking crazytalk!

cuz i don't sew.

not even slightly.

ok, maybe a button.

but that button will last about 4 minutes. 


but i have these:


those are ikea sconces.

i spray painted the silver part black and they hang in my dining room.

the shade is super boring and i want something like this:

soane ikat shades=75387209$$$$


so i googled some shit and came across a blog called 

Love Your Space

there i saw my ikea sconces and a blogger who decided to make hers prettier with some custom shades:

prettty right?

she sprayed hers gold which i am behind 100%.


i emailed the blogger, heather..and said "hey heather, walk me through this will you?"

and bc sometimes bloggers are nicer than jesus

she emailed me back with TWO detailed tutorials that even a monkey could understand (a dumb monkey- because i think monkeys are acutally super smart).


if you are a good sewer (not sewer like where your poop goes) then follow THIS tutorial..

otherwise stay tuned for my version of her personalized tutorial that requires the most basic of sewing skills.


she mentioned to me that based on my SOANE IKAT SHADE inspiration that i would prolly need some real thin fabric like silk, or cottone voile..bc it would be less bulky than reg upholstery fabric and give me the thin pleats that i want.


so here are the fabrics that i narrowed it down to:

pretty...might not be enough negative space..

would make great custom roman shades.


 red and yellow together makes me think of ketchup and mustard and i can't get past it sometimes.

do you think like this?


i think this one would give me a very silmilar look to the soane red ikat shade..



this one is vintage and there is only one yard.

it is beautiful.

i might instead buy this for framing purposes.



i enjoy this one too.


your favorite?


your thoughts?


your willingness to sew these for me for free?