in my head i weigh the ways in which i am most certainly not awesome with the ways that i definitely am the most awesome..

for example:

for the last few days when i wake up i notice my hands smell like pizza.

i google it:

sadly, no one else seems to have this problem.

so now i am just pizza hands without answers.




mike has an abscess on his lymph node. 

today he had it drained...


this was the text conversation..

me:  are you there yet?

mike:  waiting...

me: ok let me know when he sees it.

mike:  ok.

me:  also send me a picture of the pus.


not awesome. 

but yet, so so awesome. 

(*i did not receive a picture of the pus. sadface)



i went to the mall today to get a few last minute gifts for my mother in law, mother, brother..etc...basically everyone else but fiona.

and after walking what seemed like 40,000 miles from the parking lot to the entrance and then perusing anthropologie for about 7 minutes i decided i was too hot and needed to get the FFF out of there.

shopping fail.

so now i have to go back tomorrow where it will be even more full of shopping failure assholes like myself.


here is where i am awesome:

christmas morning i will bake these for my loves:

recipe here.


then for christmas dinner i will make this:

accompanied  by these:

recipes here and here.


fa la la la fart,