bizness as usual

 it seems weird to just show awesome rooms to you after i was near oprah status this weekend.

 

i wish i could tell you that they signed me up right after they saw my sparkle charms.

 


 

and i wore sequins so i was for real sparkle charming.

but they didn't.

here's what they did tell me... 

 

 

i did great.

 

 

that despite the whirlwind last few days, the next few months would be quiet..

 

 

as in, don't freak out if 2 months go by and you haven't heard a word...

 

 

they also told me i needed to be discreet from here on out and that i couldn't divulge what went down yesterday or the casting process.

 

sad for you all.

 

but i have a feeling..a good one. 

i have also realized that i could be on national tv looking like a great big asshole with big boobs and no real design experience.  

and i have also realized that i could be leaving my sweet fi for 2 months.

wrap your head around that one for a minute moms...

yeah...not a fun thought at all. 

anyway..as you can imagine i am waffling somewhere around super excitement and bone chilling terror.

but i don't mind the wait.

not at all.

in fact, i am going to use this time to really focus on the what if..

what if i am on this show?

well then i want to be 100 percent certain that i can do anything they throw my way.

don't get me wrong, i won't be crafting shit out of orange rinds or toilet paper.

i am just going to focus on MY thing..

combining old and new..

mixing high and low..

and just generally putting shit together in a new and awesome way.

 

so we can stop talking about it now.

we can get back to pretty rooms and housewives.

 

thanks again for all of your support and well wishes.

you guys will be the first to know anything that happens.

i promise you that.

 

now hire me so i can practice.

a whore called fame, consuming thoughts and asians..

according to you all i am a shoe in for design star. 

word to that.

( i hope you are still practicing spells and reading runes or...something)


some of you think i will get on tv and say fuck.

i might.

but not a lot.

i don't say fuck on here a lot.

 

in truth i watch a lot of reality tv (a lot a lot)

and everyone on reality tv cusses.

they just bleep it.

gordon ramsay has made a career out of it.

 

 

 i am not saying

i am going to be cussing a lot, maybe not ever.

who's to say?

i will probably be too busy making a mirror out of sticks

or contemplating candice's fascination with matrix style coats. 

 

and some of you think they will be hard on me bc i was/am so hard on them..

you're probably right.

they will either completely ignore it or make a spectacle out of me.

i mean if i suck then i deserve turd status for sure. 

all i can do is be myself and decorate the shit out of rooms and possibly an outhouse, or a box of raisins.

 

anyway..

the audition is in 2 days.

i am nervous.

for sure.

what if vern's there?

what if he kicks me in the face?

(if he can reach my face)

 

what?

exhausted but excited

first:

i cannot thank you all enough for leaving comments in the last post.

my heart is full of brownie batter because of you. 

 

now:

i have spent that last 2 days running around like crazy trying to spruce up my house.

apparently for this design star audition they need something called a..

portfolio?

 

so i have been adding, subtracting, borrowing, crying, worrying, freaking out, dreaming, and yes, of course..

farting. 

i am nothing without my blowhole. 

 

anyway...my little rental house has never looked prettier.

i spent a good portion of the day today trying to take pictures.

which was almost a complete wash due to the grayest of cloudy poopy days. 

so i am back at it tomorrow.

this is all part of my

..portfoooliooo..

which will include my "work" (go ahead and giggle, i am)

here's a sneak peak of a spot the camera actually made love to ..

 

 

also:

(as in turner)

 

 

 

that shit is legit!! 

 

design turds here i come!!!!

 

*but still say prayers, do rain dances, drink blood and slaughter goats