good news + asians = same thing

 

i won't lie to you..

i specifically chose my gastro bc she was asian.

and she was a she.

i am more comfortable talking to women doctors.

and asians are smarter than everyone.

this one was all business, not an ounce of good bedside manner.

but i didn't mind bc she was thorough.

she even mentioned getting all of my most recent lab work from other doctors bc she wanted to be nosy.

and she was tall.  TALL!

like 5'11 tall.

and a tall asian is like a unicorn sighting.

so i figured i was in good hooves hands. 

 

my fear with going to the doctor was never really having my butthole prodded or swallowing a camera..

it was this..i have no insurance.

so this visit cost me 225 dollars.

i couldn't afford for her to GUESS at what she thought it was and hope for the best.

i couldn't come back and come back and come back.

i needed to have all the tests done and/or scheduled.

and she agreed.

oh i loved her a lot for that.

there was no eye rolling when my symptoms list was like 4 pages long.

ok, there was one eye rolling moment when i asked her the same question twice.

but i let this slide when while examining me she said..

"ok, as soon as i am done here we will have a talk"..

and then as if her unicorn horn itself lit up and glowed pink and purple and glitter sparkles, she said..

"i am going to have you checked for celiac and i am going to give you an ultrasound to rule out gallstones..

then i am going to give you a pill to take as needed for discomfort.

then if those tests come back negative we will put you on a gluten intolerance diet and see if you are any better with it.  then if your symptoms persist we will do an upper endoscopy..

but my gut feeling is this, you mentioned all of these symptoms started after you and your daughter had a stomach virus in november..sometimes our systems have trouble righting themselves and we get post-infective IBS.

stress and hormone fluctuations can make it worse."

 

ding ding ding.

yes says I.

that is accurate.

and it makes the most sense.

 

but i also know that a good portion of this news means there is pretty much nothing i can do other than wait for it to go away and eat a frightfully clean and healthy diet.

 i'm not complaining...it could be a million times worse.

i can change my diet so that my digestive system is happy.

 

if goop can do it, i can do it.

 

 

all in all i'd say a successful visit.

 

 

and while some of you live for my poop discussions i know a fair amount of you gag your way through each and every post on the topic and to you i say..

 

i appreciate your patience with me while my blog temporarily switched focus from design blog to health blog.

and i promise that tomorrow it will be business as usual..

it is february after all..

which is typically the worst month on the calendar.

but february is *moodboard month and i have some special make-believe rooms brewing in my brain to make you forget that valentine's day sucks and that february is cold and dark and boring.

 

BUT WAIT!!

THAT'S NOT ALL....

there are 'fiona's room' updates to share and pillows to show you and fabric samples for us to envision as pillows and 

craigslist posts from around the country, and blogfest 2012 updates etc..

 

that sounds exciting right?

 

i love each and every one of you with the same intensity that branson has when he dreams of sybil bent over the hood of his car.

 

 

*february is not moodboard month in real life.   

it is just a regular month.


 


 

 

calling all gastroenterologists...

 

 

i suspect none of you reading are actually poop doctors.

because A. why would a poop doctor be reading a design blog? (is this a design blog? what have i become??!)..

and B. if a poop doctor was reading this surely they would have spoken up by now given the amount of poop talk that goes on around here.

 

friends,

i have made an appointment to see a gastroenterologist because i have had an ongoing stomach issue..

since the beginning of november.

but you all pretty much knew that, right?

i love you so hard. 

 

 

so lets talk about it.

because i damn sure don't have any design news to share.

 

 

you see the thing is..it's less about poo and more about my gut.

i either have intense nausea or a feeling like someone is punching me hard in the pit of my stomach.

i either have a hard time pooping or i poop like 8 times a day.

i have the usual food triggers that make it worse, like dairy, but i don't eat it anymore so it's not that.

and it's not gerd or heartburn.

maybe. 

 

here's what i have narrowed it down to...

1. for sure a heart attack. 

2. almost positive it is stomach cancer.

3. 100% garunteed that it's mold sickness.

4. without a doubt it's lyme disease.

5. it is totally an h. pylori infection in my stomach lining.

6. an ulcer probably caused by #5.

7. dying.

 

so if you know of anything that i forgot i am dying of,  speak up.

 

and rest assured you will be with me every step of the way through this process.

if i have to have a colonoscopy (deargodpleaseno) or an endoscopy (sweetchristdeliverme) or drink a barium milkshake with all of the above (killmenow)..

i will share all the poopy facts with you.

because that's what friends are for.

 

(p.s. do not ever in your life google image search colonoscopy).

see? friends!!