it's monday fuckheads


that was totally rude.

waking up with a sick kid with a sicker attitude is not a great way to start this already bullshit day.

she has some seriously swollen neck parts.

are mumps still around?




 i will try so hard to complete your downton recap by tomorrow evening.

 the DC had far fewer zingers this week..

but i say, that cora had some real humdingers.

i might have to break out the cora wig.



for your consideration..



an ikea malm and some cheetah velvet.





a well played before and after.









see you on the flippity.


monday is simply for looking at things that are pretty..

while i am always tempted to talk about my butt and gut..

i think monday is a day designed for ultimate fuckery,

so i won't make your monday worse with tales of intense gut pain...

or can you OD on probiotics?


and if you watched downton last night you are probably still crying from all the dying.

you all owe me several gluten free pies for having to relive this episode for you in a recap.



so today i will just gift you with a generous supply of inspiration.

you're welcome.








































it's a lot to take in.


see you soon for a recap.




sometimes all of the times when i am sick nothing gets done.

specifcally, everything.

first of all i was too sick to watch american horror story for 3 days so i couldn't recap it.

then when i finally did watch it i was like, this is dumb and boring.

what am i going to recap?

how much i hated zombie glee kids?

how come i still don't know what the shit is inside of viv's womb? 

am i the only one who was disappointed that the dog didn't really explode in the microwave?

and why doesn't anyone even consider for one second that the house is haunted?

and can sexy sexual chocolate cop please PLEASE PLEASE PLEEEASE be the rubber suit guy?

that would take this show to a whole other level.

for everyone.


i guess some might say, well at least we know for sure that tate is constance's son, but to that i say big deal...

i knew that in episode ONE!

basically this episode was like if the tuesday night glee kids did a play about ghosts.



you better bring the shit next week.



so it's monday..

and now i have 4000 emails to respond to.

paintings to paint and ship.

and house things to consider.


#1 on the list of house things to consider is this..

we are (mike is) going to paint our house.

the exterior.

i would show you a pic of it but then i would be inviting rapers and baby stealers to my house.

not gonna do it.

but i will tell you a little bit about it..

it was built in 1923.

it's technically in the craftsman style but not full on craftsman looking.

1 story, slate colored roof tiles.

lots of windows..

kind of like this:

not my house rapers


this house has recently been remodeled and ours hasn't 

but there are similarities.

no railing though.

big porch just like that, similar columns with red brick bases.

however the columns are more brick than wood.


here's what i am thinking..


all white. pure white.

with a darker white trim.

kind of like this..



or will the dark colored roof throw the whole look off?


 maybe i should just go with white everywhere, like this..


and this..


see i would paint the brick white too.

all white.


i KNOW white is hard to maintain.

i know it.

shit gets dirty.


i have a hose.


i'd like your opinions on this matter.

you've seen the fake house, tell me your thoughts.

but i warn you..

if ANYONE suggests a color like beige, khaki, olive green, dusty blue, confederate blue or any other craftsman type color i will put on a rubber suit and come to your house and stick your head in the microwave and explode you.