heat melts brains as evidenced by last night's post..

1.  bentley did NOT return to shit on ashley's face last night.

they are drawing out that nugget for next week.

though it was nice that they spent the majority of the night focused on man bodies.

 

 

2. MDD is never on mondays.

it is always on tuesdays.

therefore let's say a prayer that DICKSPACE doesn't delete my post.

 

3.  i can't sleep anymore.

for the last 2 weeks i get in bed and my brain pretends it's on crack and runs around

hopped up on crack.

plus it's hot.

hot crack brain.

and during the day my throat hurts and my head hurts and there are heat boogers in my nose.

like tiny daggers and liquid lava in my skull crevices.

and at night..

no sleep.

daytime=donkeydicks

nighttime=fearmurder

 

 

example of last night's thought process:

it's so hot what if it never rains again and we become like mars, or guy fieri's stomach?

hot and acid-y.

why is my nose always running?

this house is full of mold and we are all getting lung cancer right now! 

each of us dying in our sleep.

etc..

it just goes on in this ridiculous way.

 

 

 

and then my mom was in the hospital with scary stuff happening to her

and no one likes when their mom is hurt.

she is home now but she still has to endure things like 'plasma exchange' every other day until 

who knows when.

and yes, plasma exchange is real and it can save you but it's not fun.

 

accepting donations of xanax, brown liquor, money and magic.

 

this post brought to you by the sun and guy fieri's backwards sunglasses.

 

 

 

thank you and sorry and cupcakes

 a thousand thank yous for yesterday's kindness...

turns out after day 2 fiona came home with a smile on her face and whispered in her daddy's ear,

"i had fun today"...

you may have heard people with kids say, if they're happy i am happy.

it couldn't be more true.

just her smiling and happy about kindergarten takes me from sadtown into gladcity..

yes i miss her.

and there is still the issue of quality time spent at the end of the day, which is so short it feels non existent..

but i guess i'd better get use to this cuz she will be in school for the next 13 years...

so thanks again for letting me spill it and be sad

and not leaving me and listening to me and all that..

 

 

if i could give you a brass hand chair i would bc they are insanely good.

 

speaking of things that are good...

today i had a cupcake that blew my mind up..

this is not the actual cupcake bc i ate the actual cupcake and the woman's hand who handed it to me.

but this is kinda what the cupcake looked like and if you live in the atlanta area i cannot urge you strongly enough to go to star provisions on the west side and order a s'mores cupcake.

it was so fucking awesome it brought tears to my eyes.

there was some kind of graham cracker-chocolate cookie bottom half and on top of that was the moistest, chocolatiest, wettest cupcake center topped with a charred marshmallow fluff and then..

i think i grew a penis and had sex with myself and i got myself pregnant, had a baby and the baby came out and slapped my face.

for real.

thanks for loving me.

i promise i love you more.

p.s. i fully intend to eat one of these cupcakes every day until they are no longer available.

gluten allergy be damned.