skin secrets that are proven by me and some we can try together..

  i have heard that you are either a wrinkler or a sagger when it comes to facial skin.

as in when you start aging you are either prone to more wrinkles or you have few wrinkles but your skin starts to droop and sag. 

i fall into the latter category.

yaaaay me. 

i am pretty sure when you hit 40 you can look in the mirror and the person looking back at you is your mom.

don't get me wrong, my mom is beautiful.  but she has the sags.  

and since i can't afford botox or lifestyle lift i have to turn to products..

i discovered these at whole foods and am fairly confident they are made with unicorn pee..

 as in there must be magic in them bc they work!

this one specifically:

 here are some before and afters of my face:

before:

look how sad and saggy and old i am!!

 

now look:

fresh and lifted!!

 

serious sideways face. 

look at that tight jaw!!!!

 

excited frontal face.

 

you are sold aren't you??

 

i know product alone won't do it forever...

so we need to start doing some face yoga!

YES FACE YOGA!!!

 

it's superscary looking but that makes it all the more awesome to me..

 

 also for forehead wrinkles:

 

let's discuss our faces.

i wanna know your secrets and tips.

 

i actually choked back a little bit of throw up over this one...

i got the new house beautiful yesterday..

some of it was great like this:

 

and some of it made me wonder if it was 1983, like this:

i mean, isn't it all a bit much?

inlaid tile floors, fussy blue and white backsplash, tin ceilings, leaded glass all the way up, mega fussy cabinetry with spooling and quilting(??), hammered metal sink and 5890852835784798 topiaries...ALL IN ONE ROOM?

i just don't get it at all.

do you?

the awesome power of drugs

yesterday i was gifted this little gem,

and besides wanting to punch this pussy square in the jaw for being such a...well...a pussy, i was jealous.

i want to look at a rainbow and feel completed.

 

and also this:

tell me again why drugs are bad?

 

yours truly has an audition for moe's today. and since i eat at moe's and i am always welcome this should be a no brainer, right?

thanks to la dulci vida for clip #1

and mike for clip #2