pulitzer (or peeewlitzer) and how i am exactly like gwyneth now...

if someone had told me that one day i would write a book i would have laughed like they didn't know me at all and said..."nooo...OSCAR!!  i will write an oscar!  i mean WIN...WIN an oscar!!  

and while i still old out hope that one day i will win an oscar...i had to accept that it would more than likely be  a pity oscar, like when they gave it to gloria stuart for titanic..

where am i?

 

 

first of all i don't fancy myself much of a writer..

i am more of a truth teller who uses bad grammar and stuff.

 

but..

butt.

a legit literary agent contacted me about all things book writing.

we had emails and we had phone talks.

the big question was..

"how do we corral your candor and pure awesome magic and power into a book about design and stuff?"

(my words)

 

 

 

 

i mean if someone asks you if you want to write a book,  you kinda don't say no..

even though in your mind you are thinking "write a book???!!

i don't even know how to spell mccaunnaghey (does anyone though?)..how can i possibly write a book?!!?

 

but then i thought, i'll bet this is exactly what gwyneth thought when someone asked her to become cuntry strong!!

 

if gwyneth can record an album, MFAMB can write a book!

 

but what book?

well, that's where you come in.

 

what should i write a book about?

and don't say farting...

(please say farting).

 

disclaimer: i cannot promise that i will use your idea.

and i also promise i will not give you credit for using your idea if i use your idea.

 

maybe the most awesome thing ever..

 if you have no idea who michelle armas is you have been living inside your butt.

she is an amazing artist who can paint real real good.

 

so when she emailed me today to tell me that she named this painting....

"jenny"

after yours truly....

 

i peed rainbows.

 

seriously, that is pretty badass.

 

thank you michelle.

 

velvet

some of you'ns asked me where i found such a rich, saturated quality velvet..

well, it's schumacher.

the good news is it's discounted.

the bad news is it's still 105 dollars a yard.

 

if you haven't been to inside fabric dot com you need to cuz there's a lot of amazing fabric at a discounted rate.

 

anyway..

the schumacher velvets come in every color under the sun.

the velvet page reads like a paint deck.

speaking of paint decks.

nicole at sketch 42 tells me that i need to use plain black on my french doors bc

anything else will look like poopstains (my words).  

(she said something about "dirty denim" but all i heard was "poopstain")

newell turner tells me i need to use high gloss.

i was going to anyway but it's fun to say outloud to the universe that newell turner gives me advice.

 

ok...back to the velvets.

look at some of the colors..

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

mmmmm.....couldn't you just die??!

go here to see all the colors.

 

mondays=dickhead. giveaways can help.

it's no secret february thus far as been a monkey anus for me.

thankfully it doesn't have to be for you.

and when all of my readers/internet children are happy,

i am happy too.

 

here’s your opportunity to win one of two beautiful accessories from the studio of SEASIDE Cloth & Grass!   visit mel’s site to see more of her work here:  www.seasidecloth.com.

 

you have the chance to win either the large embroidered linen & burlap day tote:

 

or the limited edition leather bourgeois clutch:

Each item is purely handmade, designed and inspired by the seaside lifestyle.

 

to enter the giveaway, just leave a comment on this post by friday, february 11th telling me what your favorite item is from her shop:  www.seasidecloth.etsy.com.

 

the winner will be announced on monday, february 14th so check back to see if you’ve won!  winners will be contacted via the blog and the item will be shipped to you directly from SEASIDE Cloth & Grass.   

 

you are all the wind beneath my wings.

 

blog powers activate

  form of....

paid writer!

 

if you are under the impression that blogs are a giant waste of time.

you would right.

BUT...if you are good at blogging..

i.e. your writing doesn't suck and you have the smarts..

other people will take notice and hire you for their own needs and purposes.

case in point my sister wife, raina of if the lampshade fits..

she is definitely smarter than anyone i know and therefore her snark comes off as genius and not really snark..

plus she knows a thing or four about interior design.

in fact i dare say she knows more about interior design than most interior designers. 

anyway..

raina now has her own column on curbed national!!!

so..congrats to you raina.

you deserve it!