a little weekend chair porn

i found a new to me site called antiques moderne.  it's located in texas and it's like craigslist for rich people.

good table and case & storage porn too.

 

some seating favorites:

the upholstery looks pretty great..

but for my purposes i would lacquer them black and upholster them in white linen or velvet.

impractical but beeutiful.

 

 

 

great shape to this chair.

how about at the end of a hall under some fabulous piece of art.

upholster it in a bold print.

 

 

die.

 

 

fartspoop.

 

 

isn't your mind racing with visions of lacquery goodness and velvety softness?

what would you do to them? 

tell me tell me!!!!

(it would be the equivalent of dirty talk)

 

 

i know.

i can hear the audible gasping.

 

 

amaze.

 

and there's plenty for everyone!!

 

what's your favorite???

happy weekending.

i am going to chuck e cheese today.

jealous?

 

 

 

big ass house for sale

 if you read this blog regularly and have forever-y you know that i would usually rather be in england at all times..

well, mom and dad MFAMB are off to england on monday and my dad and i have been having an email face off for a few days..

he sends me these emails filled with pics of our favorite places in north yorkshire that we have been to sort of rub it in my face that mike and i aren't going.

like this:

(that's a picture of where they always stay when they go)


and i email him back with snaps of the weather forecast like this:

 

well this morning mike and i told him that we won the lottery and bought this place..

which is totally not true. (duh)

but that they could stay in their piddly prewar apartment while we luxuriated in this monster:

it's called howsham hall and it's in north yorkshire near the town of york.

i know it's austere and cold looking on the outside but it was built in 1610.

 i'm pretty sure the more austere and foreboding your house was the less likely people were to fuck with you.

it is not the least bit austere or cold on the inside though..

love the shade..and the modern touches in such and old house..

don't love..

love everything but the elephant head.

 

someone loves those shades as much as me..

this place has 7 bedrooms and sits on 83 acres...

it's completely dumb.

you can find more info on it and other awesome houses for sale here.

 

have fun dad and mom..

i want you to have a great time.

really.

 

 

 

adventures with susie

  yesterday my friend susie and i finally went to fabric world in stone mountain...which is NOT fancy.

but there are some sneaky hidden yummies if you can avert your eyes to the gross doctors office fabrics from the 80's.

like this:

this is 2 yards of something velvety and silky and more expensive than the 2.99 per yard that i paid for it.

it's a sexy shade of greenish blue.  and it would be awesome on a chair like this:

and if i had one of these badass mothers i would.

 

a trio of cheap but good.

blue green velvet.

brown ikat.

nubby neutral linen.

nothing planned for the top 2 but am going to have a console skirt made for the table under the flat screen until i can get something like this:

 

 

so after fabric world we went to a newish store in buckhead (right behind lee kleinhelter's pieces) called Bee.

it was good inside...

steep prices fer sure.

those bee hive looking things were 750 a piece.

but they had very unique things. none of it looked like i could get a cheaper version at west elm.

those bowls on that fabulous lucite table were from a shipwreck!

 

 

prepare yourselves...

this caramel colored leather mies van der rohe lounger was the most MOTHERFUCKINGUNBELIEVABLYCOMFORTABLECHAIRIEVERDIDSITIN!

for real.. 

 if i had the 9800 dollars that they were charging for it i would have bought it right then and there no questions asked. 

they should model birthing beds after this.

my birthday is in 2 months and i am pretty sure if each reader sent me 2 dollars i could have it.

then i would invite all of you over for sitting in it.

it would be like when someone sees mary in a piece of toast.

they would come for miles to sit in this chair..

 

 

aaaaaaand since we were so close to pieces inc. we couldn't NOT go inside...

 i have loved these metallic cowhide covered chairs since i first saw them back when j'adler was here signing pottery..

 

and these too...

UGGH!!!! i die for these...they are covered in hot pink wool and they are 4800 a PIECE!!!!!

SHITONMYFAAAACE!!!!!!!!! 

 

 

then me and this frosted pink glass lamp became friends for life..

 

you all need to go into pieces and bee.

so they can rub how poor you are in your face.

but then go to fabric world so you can feel like a king again. 

susie at eye spy has more from this day and less cussing... HERE.

images via me, susie and lonny

it's been a long time coming...

RHOATL!!!!!!!

episode 1:

drag queen sheree is taking an acting class...

 she's terrible.

they all are.

 

 

kim's a lez...

nene axed kim to come over to discuss her lezzy ways.

 

at nene's there is backfat..

kim discusses how she "connected" with her woman friend.

even though she has "been chasing dick since coming out of the womb".  well put slutface.

we also learn that nene and greg's marriage is rocky. 

and that dwight loaned greg 10,000$$.  

and that dwight's nose is fake..and sewn shut?  

kind of like my pooper was after i ripped from cooter to a-hole after giving birth?

 

ironically nene shares this tidbit with us in pre and post rhinoplasty shots...

glass houses and black kettles nene! 

 

 

kandi arrives at kim's and kandi wanna know why she still frenz wi'nene??!!

she also wanna know why she all up in that piznussy!!??

 

kandi and her new football player boyfriend willis mchhgshgggsomething go rock climbing.

who comes up with this shit?

 

 

kim and her daughter brielle discuss boys all the while brielle is eating ice cream with her mouth open and she has braces and i have to avert my eyes so i don't throw up...

 

newcomer phaedra is cute as button.  a pretentious little brown button.

she is pregs. 

and adorable.

and pretentious.

did i mention that?

she is a lawyer. 

and from what i gather a spitfire that would fuck your shit up.

she and no-nose appear to be close.

they are eating giant pregnant size portions of carrot cake (at which point i have to rewind 3 times bc i can't stop thinking about the goddamn cake and how i want to shove my face in it) and discussing how dwight spent 30,000 dollars of his own money to help sheree put on a fashion show for her collection last season.

i find this bit of information to be completely and utterly ridiculous.

what kind of donkey spends 30,000 dollars of their own money on someone else's fashion show?

if this is true dwight is a dumbass and doesn't deserve to be paid back.

but i highly doubt any of it's true.

phaedra discusses the difference between her and nene, whom she has known since they were girls.

it is very "i am up here you are down there".

phaedra doesn't think nene is much of a lady.

no phaedra i don't think so either..more like a sasquatch.

 

meanwhile nene confronts greg about the 10,000 dollars conspiracy.

greg  say it was 500 dollahs.

nene say she just glad to have the facts fo a change.

is it offensive that i am typing the words as i hear them in my head?

i don't care.

ebonics is cool.

 

all the housebitches show up to some weird shoe party..

 

nene confronts dwight and it turns into a lot of closetalking and faceeating.

i was hoping nene would scrape the wax off of dwight's face, with her teeth.

or dwight would spray moose repellent.

sadly none of that happened.

then everyone leaves the lame shoe party.

and then a car barrels down peachtree st. and runs all of these dumb drag queens over.