lonny delights

 the whole thing was ass kicking..

but this was my favorite:

love love love love love love love love love

 

 

 

so creamy!

even though i would run faster than madonna from hydrangeas to snatch those wordy crown pillows off that couch and burn them to the ground.

 

 

also..

thank you a lot for all the advice yesterday.

some really good stuff in there.

i am for sure going to paint the inside black and lady meares has sold me on a screen.

but i might actually give the painted logs a try since i have so many MFing logs.

why not right?

i will totes take pictures for you and then punch myself in the face for saying "totes".

 

and lastly..

i have something awesome to share with you and i cannot share it with you yet.

HAHAHAAHAHAHAAAA HA HA HA AH HHHAAAA!!!!!!!!

 

 

go read lonny if u haven't. 

p.s. for even more of the home above go here

 

well if it isn't monday...

 

 

that is my fireplace.

it doesn't work.

yesterday i moved all that wood out to the wood pit in the back yard bc i am done with wood. 

primarily bc it's not cute wood and the hole is really shallow so logs stick out awkwardly.

now i need to shove something else into it's hole.

 

 

i have gathered some images for inspiration and i want you to either choose from them or remind of something else that's even more awesome...

copper piss pot?

hmm..this ain't 1604.

 

shell and bust?

i like it.

but big shells are pricey.

anyone got a secret source for shells?

 

 

fake hydrangeas?

 fake flowers go against all fibers of my design being.

but i think it works here bc of all the darkness and quirky that's going on.

i would totally shove a few of those small funky lamps in there though.

 

 

 

sheep?

naaahhh.

(actually if i had 3 sheep i would absolutely shove them in there)

 

 

red coral and some cool andirons?

 

 

 

spray paint some logs a bright color and andirons? 

what color?

 

 

lot's o shells?

they look awesome against the black.

but would they work against my puke pink tiles?

 

 

small screen?

 

 

urns?

 

 

 

big ass geode?

who's got one bc these things are DDDDUUUMMB expensive?

 

ok...

here's what i DON'T want..

 LOGS!!!

don't say it don't you FUCKIN say it!

 

 

books.

i don't like books on the floor bc all the spiders in the land go there and make homes.

 

so.

get crackin!

 

and

before you ask:

that painting is by michelle armas, the wall color is ralph lauren forde abbey, the bench is oly found on craigslist, the lamp is cb2 and the shelves were made by my carpenter (my dad).

 

 

 

can't wait to hear your thoughts..

 

 

nice weather makes you do nice things

the last few days in georgia have been so fall-like that i almost went to the garage and got out my halloween decorations.

i straight up wore flannel pajamas to bed last night!

the 4 windows in my house that actually open are TOTALLY OPEN!!

just so happy about it!

 

in my state of euphoria i went in search of all the pretty pictures in the land..

 

(all apologies if your pinterest button bursts into flames- jk..not sorry haha)

 

 


 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

images via canadian house and home, AD france, nuevo estilo, the selby, eye spy


tiny turds

well the turds decorate some fuckin garden sheds masquerading as garden sheds this week.

 

according to tanika this shit is the wave of the future..

or

"a hot new movement (bowel movement) of people living simply (with their dogs in a doghouse)"

 

why is this a thing?

are you all aware of this "movement"?

i was not aware of this movement.

i want no part of this movement.

this reeks of hipster patchouli.

 

i think having a garden shed in your backyard that you convert into an office or private retreat is great..

but to make it the place that you live full time says to me that you are living your life as a dickhead who probably wears old timey hats and pulls your jeans up to your ribs..

 

but whatever...

you still gotta git'er done.

 

as expected mark's boner grew 3 sizes that day when he walked into the shed made of wood..

 

once inside the tiny house the turds have 30 minutes to plan the space.

they are each given a "celebrity carpenter"..

 

here are the turds' reactions to the news..

 

tanika: you know him from hgtv...(no i don't)....it's chip waaaayne!"

meg: "annnnnnh hhhhhaaaannnnn....eat him!"

 

tanika: "you know her from hgtv..(no i don't)...carmendelalapaloooya"

mark: "i wish i had my hat on"

 

tanika: "you know him from hgtv..(really, i don't know him or any of them)...mark barkeloooou!!!"

karl: "my penis is tucked into my butt."

 

 

once they go over the plan with the carpenter they are off to shop.

 

karl is thinking ottomans for their versatility..

"hahahahaaa ha ha ha aaaa OTTOMANS!!!"

 

ottomans. versatile. 

 


meg is like so amazed by the awesome decorating power of a rake head turned into a thing that's not really a rake..

if you like this you need to punch yourself in the face.

 

 i'm...

 

shitting...

 

myyiy..

 

 pahnts!!!!

 

 

mark is buying belts..

 

 

 "get ready for my signature wall art made out of dumb things that no one likes.

 

and a new hat.."


 

more ridiculously time crunched scrambling ensues..

 

then the sweaty turds gather on the lawn..

for the 2nd part of the their 2 part camera challenge...

 

the walk through where

meg finally reveals her pregnancy..

 

time for judging.

 

 yaaaaaaaaay!!!!

big bird is back!!

she is using her sense of smell and taste instead of eye judging.

 

here's karl's doghouse...

nothing says creepy like karl standing next to a clock that reads 10:10...or just karl standing.

 

 

meg's..

 

mark's..

 

wh'uck??

 

for that split second when i imagine that i get to participate in the challenge, right before i punch myself in the vagina, 

what popped into my mind was that NY times article last year about the college student who

decorated the shit out of his dorm room..

 

 

stuff stuff stufffff!!

layers, rugs, textiles, furniture..

why do the turds always have to build shit?

no one in regular life is building shit.

 

nothing they ever do looks finished.

nevermind it looking good.

it just doesn't looked decorated.

i decorated my closet/clubhouse when i was 9 better than this and i had to work with blue carpet.

 

(i just high fived my cat) 

 

anyway..

mark got sent home for his dumb belts and stripes walls.

 

now everyone go and punch yourself in the left eye.