monday bullet points

1: whenever i see the 'PBteen' newsletter in my inbox all i really see is 'peen'.

 

 

2: fiona had a cold and i got her this- 

cold gone.

homeopathic, while still questioned by narrow-minded douchebags CAN be effective.

 

 

3: this show is good.

here's what one viewer said..

"that maid is so sexy, i'd kill myself to fuck her ghost then resurrect myself to fuck her soul. then i'd fuck everyone else."

 

i call this show Lost meets Six Feet Under meets bone & face raping.

it's highly addictive like all of those things were/are.

it comes on wednesdays on FX and i can't wait!!

 

 

4: butter nail polish, despite having the best colors on the planet (and highest prices for nail polish- FUCK)

doesn't last for more than one day on your nails.

branwen's feather.

so pretty.

 

british racing green.

the boss of all nail colors...

 after FOUR COATS is still peeling away.

 

 

 5: i have decided (early) that my thanksgiving table will look like this..

 

 

6.  unicorn.

 

 

7. this bathroom appeals to me..

like a lot.

 

 

happy monday.

don't forget to follow minty on twitter and/or facebook.

and if you want a minty button for your blog just holler.

there are several to choose from.

 

thanks hookers.

 

 

some things suck ding dong

 

BUT THIS DOESN'T!!!!

 

after a real long time of pulling rabbits out of our b-holes, it's finally here.

M I N T Y

a totes awesome new shop nestled in antique factory here in atlanta.

nelya, susie and meself have teamed up to bring you the best vintage and antique goodness we design-obsessed bitches can find..

including but not limited to vintage art, my art, lucite, orange lacquer, lavender lacquer, brass and glass, mid century originals,  custom upholstery, and lamps that will melt your face.

 

that shit is now open so come down and buy some really good stuff for your house.

5505 peachtree rd.

chamblee, ga. 30341

 

770-455-7570

 

monday-saturday 11-5

 

not in atlanta?

fuck you come anyway.

just kidding, probably..

 

don't worry...M I N T Y is an online experience too!

we are still collecting pieces for the website so, more coming soon!!

 

 

 in the meantime though, drop by.

i will be there today and tomorrow with my girls nelya and susie.

we will probably be painting and straightening and stuff.

 

and do visit the site and sign up for our newsletter and follow us on twitter and like us on facebook and stuff.

 

i want to thank all of you lovely people for your support and excitement through all of these secrety secret times.

 

 

 


curated farts,

 

dream winner

chosing a winner was hard.

many of you have some extremely fucked up recurring dreams,

in fact it made me think of my childhood recurring dream that i had forgotten all about...

 

i am asleep and i hear this horrible moaning..

i walk down the hall to the door that leads to the stairs that lead to the basement.

down at the bottom of the stairs is the head of Al from happy days (this guy)

and it's sitting on the floor, no body, just the head, and it's REALLY BIG and it's on fire and the flames are engulfing his huge head and he is alive and moaning and looking at me to help him.

fucking terrifying.

i wake up after that. 

usually crying and sweating.

 

 

anyway..

 

i chose the dream that made me LOL.

 and

that

person

is........

 

laurencapri

 

here is her highly amusing dream:

My reoccurring dream: I am super pregnant and very confused about how it happened. I then give birth to an adorable little black baby; the problem is my boyfriend is the blondest guy ever so I then realize it is clearly not his baby. The baby has an afro and he can walk straight out of the womb. He does this sort of bouncy dance when he walks, thank god my illegitimate child has rhythm, and sometimes he can talk. I spend the rest of the dream trying to hide the fact that the baby is black. Usually I dye his hair blond but the afro grows so fast that he has roots. In the dreams where he can talk baby usually taunts me that my boyfriend is going to find out. Dream about infidelity or do I just need get my roots done more often? Who knows?

 

so awesome.

and you know as funny as it sounds it was probably terrifying as it was going down.

 

 

but bc i am awesome and a superfriend i chose another winner...

 

that's right TWO winners..

winner #2 is..

 

 

katie

here is her ridiculously awesome dream:

I haven't had this one in a while, but growing up I had this dream about once a week:
It's a sunny day and I wander outside (the house where I grew up in Indiana)...when I get out to the driveway, I find the Golden Girls! And they are dressed in chiffon gowns, each their own color. I remember in the dream they always reminded me of the three fairies from Disney's Sleeping Beauty. They explain to me that my parents were in a tragic plane crash and that now they will be taking care of me. They would soothe me (even though I wasn't really upset about these new circumstances) and start listing all the delicious food they will make me (peanut butter and honey sandwiches! banana pudding! better cheddars!). The 5 of us head inside and watch soaps (Guiding Light and As the World Turns) together and then I wake up.

 

sorry, golden girls references will always win.

 

don't worry though losers..

i will be doing more painting giveaways in the future.

stay with me.

 

and..

 

don't forget to come back tomorrow for a super secret reveal..

here's a hint:

look at that pretty wall color.

 

 

 

secret farts,

 


if this makes you puke then i did my job. if not then you must have your own house of poop to deal with.

everyone says their husband's shit smells the worst in the universe.

but i am here to tell you that nothing compares to the assfire of rotten dead animal with diarrhea on top 

that comes out of mike's butthole. 

 

and the worst part is his toilet is close to where i work and where my nose is.

so i am literally sitting in a cloud of gag inducing shitvomit smell for at least 45 minutes...

the smell is slow to dissipate, hilariously!!!!!

 

and i don't give a shit if you're eating.

i don't care if this is too much for your senses.

deal with it.

i have to.

 

while you sit in your glorious smell-free cubicle of life please know that in order to bring you the prettiest

pictures i can find i have to endure the smell of a 1000 dead bodies covered in dead body diarrhea with diarrhea butt sauce.

every single GD morning.

 

 

here you go..

just mah summer house..

 

 

just the tub in mah summer house..

 

 

just mah winter house..

 

 

enter.. throw your shit (gently) on my platner..

 

we meet through there for chestnut roasting and congnac sipping around 8:00..

 

 

casual fireside dinners every night..

need a basket?  i got you covered..

 

 

feel like readin a book?

this is my favorite spot.

 

 

this is where i sleep.

don't worry you get pratesi linens too...

 

 

your cozy sleeping quarters..

mary and baby jesus got yer back.

 

 

marble encrusted tub for your bathing needs.

 

just don't go in after mike.

 

 

 

halloween costume of the day..

 

jane eyre.

 

now how to convince a 6 year old girl to be an abused and penniless orphan who sees ghosts and who's best and only friend dies of consumption at a young age leaving her all alone and then moves into a haunted castle as governess where she falls in love with a man who eventually asks her to marry him only to find he is married to someone else at which point she leaves broken hearted and travels through england trading her clothes for food, comes back to the castle only to find it burned to the ground and the love of her life blind and cuhraaaazeeee.

 

should be easy enough.

 

 

also-

one of my super fresh secrets announced on FRIDAY!!!

c'mon back.

 

 

and tomorrow i will choose a best dream winner with my bare hands!!

so also come back tomorrow. and friday. 

so come back both days.

but really come back every day.

 

 

 

 costume available here.