here's my garden

isn't it awesome!?

lookit my cabbages and chard!

in gardening we call that prolific. 

here's my art studio/potting shed..

this is on the other side of the shed..

it's perfect bc we never have to mow and the cats love to hide in it.

tra la la la laaaa looooo!!!!

here's the backside of the house..

our pool is the #1 pool in the universe.

here's my fucking geese.

this is our side house arbor with all my PROLIFIC climbing roses..

this is the best place to entertain in the summer and get west nile..

just kidding..none of that shit is true..

this is my real garden..

it hasn't reached prolific status but we have been preparing for this thing for months..

composting since last summer..

planning out the veg situation and researching how to make it a continuous garden through the fall..

i told mike to get new wood for the garden bc i feared the rotting wood would come back to bite us in the ass..

he said "it'll be fine"..

(BIGtime death ray side eye)

here's what i planted:

nantes carr-ots. 

brocc-oli.

bee-ts in a variety of colors.

3 different kinds of tomatoes.

bc i have TERRIBLE luck with tomatoes.

 idiot proof zucchini and yellow sqaush.

but also onions, collards, little gem lettuces, and arugula.

the warmth came early this year so we'll see what happens..

the ground might be too warm for the carrots and the collards and the lettuces to germinate.

fingers crossed.

for those of you wanting to do a garden..

you need to get on it.

at this point it might be best just to go with the summer crop and eliminate the spring veggies altogether.

like don't even mess with strawberries right now.

or delicate lettuces.

unless u live where it's super cold.

but you still need to get them in the ground, pronto tonto.

tips-

plant your tall growing vegetables like tomatoes, beans, corn..on the north end of the garden so they don't shade the other plants.

if possible plant your garden where it gets the most sun in the morning and mid afternoon, 

sort of northeasterly...

like this:

if you're planting from seed (i highly recommend bc it is so satisfying) make sure you thin out the seedlings.

what that means is once all your little seeds have produced little green leaves popping up through the ground you need to pull more than half of them out depending on how many there are.

usually there are a lot..

so just leave about 5-10 seedlings in the ground depending on how big your garden is.

for mine i aim to have about 5-7 plants per variety.

i am very haphazzard with my seed planting bc i let a certain little person with tiny hands put the seeds in the ground.

there will more than likely be quite a few seedlings.

don't worry though, just pull them out and eat them (they are sprouts afterall)..or compost them.

or stick them up your butt.

watering..

in the spring with the nights still cool you can water your new garden every other day.

skip 2-3 days after heavy rain.

the little seeds need water but they also need that sunshine to germinate.

think steady but light..and just water til you feel 6 inches of ground has been saturated.

overwatering can cause an immature root system and the plants won't be able to figure out a way to root down into the ground and get their own water.

they're like kids and shit!!!

AND!!

don't sow your seeds too deep or the sun won't reach them.

once it's all established it's good to let the dirt get a leeettle dry.

once or twice a week.

less is still more.

i am still learning about the bugs and pests and fertilizer and all that..

so i will keep you posted as i learn new things.

also a note about dirt..

i sent my husband to get the dirt to fill the bed and he comes home with 30 bags of topsoil.

TOPSOIL!!

topsoil is not ideal for a garden.

but we went to pike and the lady there said as long as we put in plenty of compost and mulch it should be ok.

the reason being is that topsoil becomes impacted and no air can get in there and your vegetables will hate you for that. 

so we got a pike brand that they recommended that contains all of those things and we mixed it in with the topsoil.

for you i recommend that you get a garden soil and compost mixture.

or use your own delicious dirt from your yard.

just make sure to ammend it with the above things.

ok..that about covers the beggining stages.

i will report back once my garden has started to JAY-Z. (produce mega hits)

and by all means share your own tips in the comments section.

garden farts,

this..

 
 my kid makes lists..

watch tv (CHECK! her priorities are clearly in order)

read, bookstore! (good idea. better than #1)

get tap meshur

(in kid spelling that was- 'get tape measure' but i am unclear on what she needed to measure)

eat lunch (yes. important.)

meet at work (meet who?! work?! what?!)

school! (at least she's excited about it or maybe that's 'school!' like...grrr!!!)

fix leak! (perhaps this is what she needed the tap meshur for?)

clean house (pfff...as if)

buy a toy (with her job money i guess)

park! (obvious choice)

eat dinner (yes. a kale salad please)

vampire (???!)

prepare for tornado! (woah. yes. good thinking)

go home and have fun! (yes. always.)

for some reason today i missed her more than usual.

that happens from time to time while she's at school.

and i cry a little inside for slipping time and curse it.

i saw this on the table and almost picked it up and closed it.

having maybe never seen it at all.

it made me laugh out loud.

my girl is quirky and odd.

inside a such a pretty package.

 

hold on to your boobs ladies and man friends..san fran craig brings it hard!

posting on a sunday isn't my idea of a good time...

there is a garden to be planted..

(pics of that tomorrow you lucky sons of bitches!)

but...

as i was perusing san fran's craigslist yesterday i was like..

oh nooo!!! i HAVE to get this together for my san fran peeps.

i am seriously considering having a few things shipped to me..

like thisssS:

green, hand carved, inlay mirror- $75

stop the madness.

HERE.

and this..

the most perfectist little round bamboo table ever- $25

it's only 25 dollars!

secrets of a stylist henderson would be all over it.

HERE.

ok and this..

lot's of 4 x 6 rugs from india for $45.

that's a great price for these wildly popular rugs.

go check them out and report back cuz i'll bet these fools would ship.

HERE.

lucite nesters- $175

HERE.

bamboo lamp-$150

i love this thing.

it's quirky and it's bamboo.

HERE.

awesome chairs- $15 each.

i would be all over these too for my dining room.

HERE.

chaise longue- $90

 give it summa this..

HERE.

beyond awesome lamps- $145

look at those shades.

HERE.  

regency table- $240

fabulous.

HERE.

wearstler-y chair- $100.

fantastic bedroom chair.

or living room.

HERE.

awesome sofa- $100

HERE.

glass, brass and lucite coffee table- $99.

triple threat.

HERE.

custom slipper chairs- $50.

FIFTY! FOR THE PAIR!!

HERE.

regency tables- $85

i see these glossy black with white in the grooves and some brass hardware.

amazing.

HERE.

2 vintage metal moroccan style tables- $350

pricey but awesome.

HERE.

cute little lamp- $80

HERE.

uniquely shaped plant stands- $10.

these on your porch with some ferns.

HERE.

rattan deco chairs- $300

oh these are good.

HERE.

2 round tables- $70

these would be great in a child's room.

or a small living room.

or split up, 1 in the bath, 1 on the porch.

you get the idea.

they're awesome.

HERE.

bamboo console table- $100

ok this one too.

i want this too.

paint it like this..

HERE.

vintage marble top coffee table- $140

gorgeous.

HERE.

4 wicker chairs- $15ea or 4 for $45.

price is too good.

create this..

HERE.

woah.

crazy cool.

expensive but cool.

HERE.

good rug- $450

HERE.

little chinese inspired table- $120

this just needs some reddish persimmon paint.

right??

HERE.

brass chairs and table- $85

good stuff.

HERE.

burl and glass table- $450

wow.

HERE.

dresser/TV console- $90.

think this way..

HERE.

hello amazing sofa- $99

nick olsen did this..

HERE.

pretty blue velvet cane chairs- $215

no need for uphosltery.

just paint.

hard to do around the uphosltery but it can be done very carefully.

HERE.

good god who needs a cigarette?

lucite table queries..and other shit.

hey sluts.

sorry fot the L.O.P yesterday but i was painting and antique shopping.

FUN TIMES.

this is what i considered:

extremely cute table.

no place for him.

he was perfectly black and white with a little pink nose . extraordinarily shiny.

he would have been perfect in christine's house.

i intend to go back for this guy.

thick and resiny and yummy next to my leather oly bench.

i really wanted owl for fiona's room. 

and i may get him. 

or...

these cats!!

fiona is obsessed with cats.

can she have an owl and the cats?

or is that too menagerie-ish?

but my hands down favorite were these weirdos:

it's TWO green falcor's!!!

sort of.

i'm sure they weren't meant to look like falcor.

and they were 500 bucks so it's not like it matters.

but man, they were huge and i loved their color and their falcor-ki-ness.

(if you have to ask who falcor is go and punch your spleen)

anyway..

i escaped with a small, wooden slightly chinese-y table for fiona's room for which to place books at bedtime.

can also be used as a stool.

sorry no pic.

 i am going to paint it yves klein blue.

ok..

lots of you asked about my little lucite table.

and rather than email all of you individually...

here's the deal on that..

the shipping on the table will be about 200-250.  

now, that's a guess but based on several recent minty ships that's about right.

so you're looking at about $375 total.

and...it's not in great condition.

not bad by any means, but not perfect.

it's vintage! 

there are no deep scratches or anything..

it's just lost a bit of it's luster.

nothing that a little lucite/plastic polish can't fix, i'm sure.

and it has a slight sag in the middle.

dimensions: 43 x 15..16H

 i think those little marks are inside the acryllic...just naturally occuring ripple things.

 

so if you emailed me yesterday and are STILL interested please email me again and say STILL interested.

and if you have better shipping ideas please let me know.

but know this..

i am not going to lug this m-fucker around until i find the best shipping quote.

alright then..

happy friday and all that.

 

over there..

today i am posting on amber's blog.

i reveal a little known fact about myself.

go read all about it.

HERE.

just some things..

green paint sample looks like exorcist vom.

i need darker. deeper and moodier.

back to the drawing board.

and..

from minty..

framed vintage guatemalan textiles.

the big one was snatched up by nelya.

the other 2 rectangular ones are all yours for the taking.

mirrored frames y'all.

for the specifics go HERE.

and finally..

get ready to explode into a million baby fat sparkle particles..

tuesday is for buying things.

so go buy some vintage guatemalan textiles.

and then hug a baby.