new art and some mild diarrhea...

today is a few things..

it's the countdown to summer vacation week and i am underprepared.

it is also the countdown to filming a movie week and i am experiencing some mild diarrhea over it.

i even instagrammed it  for you, using everyone's new favorite app...

more on movie preparedness tomorrow. maybe. 

yesterday while everyone was getting drunk on a boat i was at home painting this (when i wasn't on the toilet making bicycle eyes and magic poop sprinkles)..

margot

36 x 48 acrylic on canvas

inspired by this margot..

back when she was gwyneth and not goop. 

happy tuesdaymonday.

a pretty good week

i have been holding this news between clenched buttcheeks for weeks!!

newell turner (E.I.C. of house beautiful magazine) contacted me (!!!!!) a few weeks ago and told me he'd like to feature some of my art on his editor's letter call out section. 

in my head i was like what's a call out section?

but with my mouth i was like..YES! PLEASE! THANK YOU!

so  

here it is..

what??

dead.

i mean, thank you!!!!! right? dying? we're all dying a little right?

and as if that weren't enough..

i ALSO got cast in a movie this week.

the movie is called let's be cops and i play an annoying woman on the phone in the movie theater who gets escorted out by the 2 main characters. (jake johnson and damon wayans jr.)

it's all improvised so i get to play which is beyond awesome to me.

i thought i'd make her the asshole lady with 5 kids who escapes to the movies and just talks on the phone to her friend the whole time.  essentially just be myself minus 4 of those kids. 

so...i'm pretty much killing it this week.

but i am already choking on my own famevomit.

in my eyes i am always one bong toss away from amanda bynes level failure.

so don't hate too hard.

or be jealous or any of that nonsense.

bc at the end of the day i am still pulling fleas off my cats (and daughter).

fame scented farts,

there is no real money shot in a bathroom, is there?

this bathroom is not done. (or styled for that matter)

but it's closer than it has ever been.

if you're new here go ahead and swallow the urge to tell me that i need to replace the baby elephant casket of a sink with something smaller and prettier.   

we are renters.  and i am probably going to renters jail just for painting out all the trim. 

also the vent hasn't been screwed back in.

and i think i need to exchange the black frames for white frames.

anyway..styling and shit comes later..

 what i need desperately is a new mirror..

the old one is all wrong aesthetically..

and yes, i am more than aware that TECHNICALLY the light fixture is maybe too small for the sink.

i don't care.

i think it can work so long as i fill up that wall with art.

like so..

and so..

but probably more like so..

anyway..

 i can't really have a rectangular mirror bc it will just emphasize the smallness of the light .  so i am wanting round.

or square.

but probably round.

in my head i see something 70's/80's and lacquery.

like this..

or even this..

i just think i need something with a pop. 

be it white or red or orange or neon yellow.

all that brown is begging for something fun to keep it from being too depressing and glum.

serena and lily has a great mirror that i've been eyeballing for some time..

it looks so good against a dark wall..

but it's totally out of my budget.

 i am also not opposed to a plain and simple contemporary mirror like this one from cb2 that is NO LONGER AVAILABLE AND WAS TOTALLY WITHIN MY BUDGET!

so good that bench.

i just think with a plain round mirror you need to go BIG or GO HOME. 

and that's hard to find. 

here are some recent craigslist offerings that i don't hate...

the size is bigger than it seems. 30" all around.

which is the exact size i need.  31" diameter, tops.

not in love with a quatrefoil but i could paint it a bright color and gloss it up just right.

plus it's 60 bucks, so i could get it and wait until something better comes along.

this is cute as is but it's brown and i can't have brown on brown on brown (poop).

not sure painting it would be a good idea.  but maybe it's a great idea?

(this is where you come in)

same with this one..

the shape is interesting.

but it would match the blinds and that's not cool to me.

but it's 25 bucks.

would it be as cute painted poppy red?

i am undecided.

help me friends.

listening to

lately, while i paint i listen to this...

if you don't know who grimes is you need to check yourself.

she's a one woman show and she looks like a supermodel. 

also someone find me a hat that says PUSSY, stat.

the whole album is trippy times a million but also melodic and dancey.

and on other days it's this..

i can only encourage you to do the same.

(p.s. the whole ameile soundtrack is right up there for you..turn it on you sad fuckers) 

blackberries

it's weird when you write a blog about frivolous, mostly meaningless things and poop, to try and write a post about said frivolity after a tragedy has struck.

i could talk about how shitty it feels to have been complaining about hand cramps from painting when children were buried alive under their school.

because that truly does feel ridiculous and perspective-y.

or about how weird it is that not too long ago a young man walked into a school and murdered 26 children and yesterday mother nature took out 20?

i'm sure someone somewhere is tallying up the randomness of that one.

or how everyone is probably at this point asking...

what fucking next??!!!!!

only the reality of that is probably really fucking terrifying bc no, really...WHAT FUCKING NEXT?!!

i don't read or listen to the news anymore..

how can i?!

it's a horror show out there and the media thrives on it.

plus it's a giant waste of time and energy.

the truth is i'd rather be painting tiny window panes, freehand until my fingers bleed.

there is an area of my yard that i like to call "the deadly snarea" (snare+area).

yes because i will always be a nerd but also bc it's a patch of yard next to my house where nothing safe grows.

there are hornet's nests, endless, creeping ivy, winding, woody vines and thorny, fuzzyprickled (prizzyfuckled?) leaves PLUS SPIDERS FOR DAYS...it's a place you don't want to go near. 

all you can do is cut it back and then run in fear.

but every year in the spring...there are blackberries.

wild, blackest purple, sweet, delicious blackberries.

they lay gently on top of all the scary stuff as if to say..i won't give you cancer, i am not a tornado and i don't own a gun...i am sweet and delicious and i will come back every year to remind you of that.

here's to focusing on the blackberries.

 donate.

bathroom inspiration

i am painting my bathroom slowly.

i decided against showing you any sneak peeks bc it's a bathroom.

what am i going to show you?

a piece of the baseboard with the toilet sitting beside it?

ok if you follow me on instagram you actually saw that.

i'll tell you this..

it's dark but not black and it's everywhere.

i painted everything but the crown molding and the ceiling.

i thought i'd go ahead and do the bathroom before the living room bc i needed to pop my paint-the-molding-the-same-color-as-the-wall cherry in a smaller space first.

i will also tell you that if you are painting yourself go ahead and splurge on the farrow and ball.

you know you want to.

it is a dream to work with.

better than benjamin moore.

waaaay better.

use an inexpensive paint as an undercoat in the same color if you have to cover up a dark color.

or if you have a large room to cover.

bathrooms are tiny and i was going dark over light so i didn't really need an undercoat.  i only needed one gallon of the farrow and ball. 

but in my living room i will need 2 gallons of paint so i bought a cheap undercoat in a dark gray and then the farrow and ball black blue on top, just one gallon.

anyway..

i can't wait to show you.

it's pretty awesome.

but it will need styling and i still don't have a mirror bc i can't figure out what i want and i have about as much as a gallon of farrow and ball paint to spend on one.

in the meantime, here are some awesome bathrooms to get your bathroom juices flowing (gross)...

via pinterest.

the reveal is scheduled for this week.