design turd contestants #'s 8 and 9: meet dan faires and courtland bascon

Gabriela Eisenhart June 12, 2010

listen up fart farters...tomorrow night, that's sunday june 13th, is the premiere of the next design turd.

and i for one am extremely excited. for starters farters, mark burnett (survivor and the apprentice) is the exec. producer which basically means bigger budget for the turds. better resources. more interesting challenges.

well, one can hope.

i plan to shove two turds into this post and 3 tomorrow..

first up is dan faires..

he's wearing paint splattered pants to show that he is an artist first and foremost...

Age: 26

Hometown: Springdale, Ark.

Dan says his love for construction began when he and his father worked on the family’s home, a century-old place that needed constant repairs. Dan also found inspiration by frequently watching HGTV and was often eager to try the projects he’d seen. After earning a degree in biology from the University of Arkansas, Dan moved to Gulfport, Miss., for a job in medical sales, but his professional plans changed when Hurricane Katrina hit. The destruction of so many homes rekindled his passion for building and he soon left his sales job to join a construction crew. Dan, described as having a warm heart and an easygoing personality, continues to work in construction and design. He defines his style as “rustic” and believes that “design should always incorporate rustic elements because it adds texture and warmth to every space.”

dan and i agree that rooms should incorporate a rustic element for texture and warmth..

i actually LOVE the wall of windows. i think it's very cool. very mark and sally bailey.

plenty of rustic. i like the idea of rustic elements in a big ol loft. but i certainly don't want everything to be rustic..i do like this image though.

too dark to see really...but i think this guy has potential. he sold me on his wall of windows.

i know plenty of you will hate them...and i totally understand why. and i probably would never have a wall of windows in my house that weren't actually attached to a wall with a view outside. but editorially, it works beautifully and as a room divider it is quite original. at least it's not a fucking shower door- lonny!!

next up is..

courtland bascon..

Age: 38

Hometown: Los Angeles, Calif.

Raised in a strict household in Boston, Courtland says his family discouraged him from studying the arts or expressing his natural creativity. As a teen, however, Courtland convinced his mother to let him take art classes and, once enrolled, his passion for design was born. Like many of his 10 siblings, Courtland spent years working with his father in the family’s masonry business. He credits this work and his world travels for his knowledge and appreciation of architecture and design. With a specialty in painting and faux finishing, Courtland says he is “in it to win it” and wants to become the next HGTV Design Star. Courtland, whose fiancé says he is charming, positive and a hard worker, believes that his ability to be a good team player will help him win the competition.

i think we have a cryer on our hands here.

the one who will break down after every challenge and tell us how his family discouraged the arts bc art was for sissies.

just a predicition.

**warning: wallmuralfauxfinisheyebleeders

this is so very hgtv. vern is stroking it at night to this guy..

FUCK!!! MY EYES!!!!!!!!!!!!!

what?

really?

13 pillows on one couch and TWO faux finishes!!

fucking bullshit brocade.

who else puked just now??

thank christ for that sink. it disguises puke beautifully.

poor skylar and charley.

i don't even understand this room!!

it looks like a baby hospital.

you go...

p.s. don't forget to come back tomorrow for the last 3 turd profiles..

and def tune in to hgtv at 10 PM eastern.

and on monday back here for the recap...

design turd contestant #7: meet emily henderson

Gabriela Eisenhart June 10, 2010

Age: 30

Hometown: Portland, Ore.

Raised in rural Oregon, Emily says she developed a creative nature because her family often made their own clothes and reupholstered their own furniture. After graduating from the University of Oregon, Emily moved to New York City and studied design at Pratt Institute in Brooklyn. Described as charming, hard-working and having a fun sense of fashion, Emily soon found work as a design consultant with several world-renowned designers and stylists. Eventually, Emily’s talent and style, which she says is a mix of classical and contemporary design, led her to start her own business as a prop, lifestyle and tabletop designer. Today she is an in-demand photo-shoot stylist for top lifestyle and design publications and national retailers.

ok.

i love that her family made their own clothes and reupholstered their furniture.

and please, not in an aww-isn't-that-cute, they-were-poor-way...but in a wow, people-like-that-generally-tend- to-be-more-awesome-than-people-who-buy-shit-in-stores-and-have-no-taste-way.

for real, look it up.

but i see the stylist here and not the decorater/designer..

i think we can all agree this girl definitely has a good eye and has potential...

it's simple.

but this "portfolio" reads photo shoot for a stylist. which is ok, if that's all the work she's had.

i mean compared to turds 1, 3, 4, 5 and 6 she's like donkeyfarts ahead of the curve.

i have high hopes for turd #7.

i feel like i have seen all of this on design sponge.

thoughts?

design turd contestant #6: meet julie khuu

Gabriela Eisenhart June 9, 2010

Age: 29

Hometown: Santa Ana, Calif.

Julie, the youngest of five siblings, was raised in an environment where excellence was expected. Although her parents wanted her to become a doctor or lawyer, she wanted to follow her dream to become a designer. With a bachelor’s degree in interior design from The Art Institute of California, this self-described overachiever and socialite says that her favorite projects involve designing spaces for nightclubs. Julie, who says her design style reflects a “modern global glamour,” loves to work hard and play hard. Because of her looks and petite frame, Julie believes that she is often underestimated and must be “bossy and direct” in order for people to take her seriously. She says she’s not afraid to speak her mind and hopes that winning HGTV Design Star will prove to her family that she is a legitimate designer.

i think her family might be on to something...

i am a fan of color but these colors clash to me. also that fucking student art project on the wall is making my butt bleed. and if there's one thing i hate most in the world of bad design it might just be the use of tchochke for the sake of filling an area. like those fucking twine balls!!!!!!!!! that shit is just dumb and not good dumb. the bowl would have been enough and a few books and the candles. otherwise it looks like a model home set up for potential buyers.

never a fan of chocolate and red. never ever. and the use of an egg chair doesn't save the space from looking pedestrian.

again with the stupid design school art project.

pedestrian. boring. no personality. i could do better people. where was my phone call to join this shitshow?

from this pov the color combo looks nice. it looks like lavender, chartreuse, and gray..which is kinda pretty. but no..the rest sucks too much. that granite sucks and so does that slate floor. together it's double suck.

fuck you poop door.

i can't reiterate myself anymore...with the pedestrian, boring, personality-less decor of these spaces...

and for the record personality doesn't equal shit glued to the wall...

love the curtain fabric though.

i think what i am discovering about design school is that they are teaching people to go shopping and fill a room.

i'm out of words. you go...

i will defend this girl now slightly.

in her bio she says her style reflects "modern global glamour". ok i can whole heartedly and confidently say that there is nothin glamourous or global about her design A.

but girlfriend can decorate the shit out of a club....

tacky it's true. but fun.

design turd contestant #5: meet michael moeller

Gabriela Eisenhart June 7, 2010

Age: 30

Hometown: New York, N.Y.

As a child growing up in rural New York, Michael knew he had a natural artistic talent and loved to find creative ways to play a game or rearrange his bedroom furniture. After earning a degree in interior design from The New England School of Art & Design in Boston, Michael moved to New York. His persistence and creative design style, which is “a natural approach to urban sleekness,” helped him land a job with a prestigious hospitality design firm, where he produced award-winning work. Today, Michael is a design business owner and credits his outgoing personality and problem-solving skills to his success. He says he grew up as the star in his family and believes that the combination of his competitive nature and outspoken personality will help him become the next HGTV Design Star.

oh really michael??

well let's take a look at your "award winning natural approach to urban sleekness"...

that bedding is causing my butt to explode diarrhea..

perfect for a corporate hotel stay..

this room lacks focus and it's far too crowded with shit.

take the cowhide off the futon thing, a few less pillows in softer colors, take the encyclopedia collection off that table and replace with a few well placed pieces of pottery or shiny pretty things, take those fucking suitcases to the closet and make that gallery wall a little more spaced out...the room is cramped enough why do you need to cramp up the art?...fuck off.

not understanding the pillow and/or the izod bedding...

this guy needs an art hanging lesson. also whats with the 4 tables/stools? and just please for the love of bret michaels get one big rug. and stop putting shit on an angle. it's very hgtv of you.

these light fixture things are in the photo above. i don't hate them, i think in the right space they could be cool...for a guy...in the city...is this the urban sleekness portion of his design aesthetic?

just no!!!!

those chairs...gag...table..double fart gag..i do love a riddling rack for wine holding though and the light fixture is cool against the rustic quality of the rack..but that's it you fucker!!

sigh.

so very very hgtv. mandace's penis just grew a little bit bigger.

oh look...shit's on an angle again.

just changing the color on the walls and taking those fucking throw pillows off the bed would make this room 100 times better. also change the curtains, blanket, and chair fabric. it's all too similar. there is no depth or anything interesting to look at. nothing to keep your eye moving around the room.

better.

the reds, browns and yellows are really my least favorite colors together but the basics in this room are great. a few color changes, some books and personal effects and we could have a winner.

design turd contestant #4: meet stacey cohen

Gabriela Eisenhart June 4, 2010

fact: sweater dresses make my butt throw up diarrhea.

Age: 35

Hometown: Chicago, Ill.

While growing up in Detroit, Stacey says that she was captivated by her parents’ vast art collection. She believes that the early exposure to art strongly influenced her love of design and sparked the development of her own creative voice. After graduating from Columbia College of Chicago with a degree in journalism, Stacey completed the interior design program at Parsons The New School for Design, where she refined her self-described “eco-friendly modern” design style. Today, it’s no surprise to Stacey’s friends and family that she owns a successful design business or that she’s competing to become the next HGTV Design Star. They say that she puts 110 percent into everything she does and that when she sets a goal, she achieves it.

i think stacey's work is boring. that's what i think.

this contemporary style can look too catalog if not done right.

i know there are a vast majority of people who think this look is awesome. but i feel like if you own a west elm or a CB2 catalog you too can acheive this look without a parsons school of design degree..

i still think this girl will go far in the competition..

bathroom=blech

change the fabric on those chairs to maybe a softer, rounder pattern and add some art or an antique-y mirror and this room would look a lot less cold and a little more personal..

that light fixture sucks and so does that tile! that shit already looks dated.

is this a west elm catalog shot???!!

i do like that pillow on the left though.

**snore

better..

better still...

this girl has potential.

i hope she can figure out that a little "old" injected into a modern space works a shit ton better than all new and/or eco..

thoughts??

design turd contestant #3: meet trent hultgren

Gabriela Eisenhart May 28, 2010

the next DT is named trent...

you might know him better from his other show...

Age: 41

Hometown: Venice, Calif.

Trent says that before he found success as a design business owner, his life had been on a far different track. Growing up in Winton, Calif., Trent spent much of his childhood working on his family’s cattle farm and attending church. He later earned a degree in theology, but after more than a decade traveling the world as a missionary, Trent says he wanted to learn more about life and explore his dream to be a designer. He taught himself the principles of design and decor and, with hard work and determination, he launched a career as a designer. In business, he adheres to his design philosophy to “tweak” a space by enhancing the existing room design. Trent believes that he has an edge on the competition because, after years as a pastor and world traveler, his ability to genuinely connect with people will help set him apart from the other competitors.

ok...let's see what kenneth trent brings to the table:

ok...here we have an impersonal pottery barn photo shoot..and not even as good as pottery barn...

sea grass rug, sea grass table AND sea grass chairs???