contemplating my plan of being as awesome as i possibly can in as little time as possible..
after 6.5 hours of waiting,
i went into a room with 2 tables.
each table had a nice person sitting behind it.
i sat at one of the tables, talked to the nice person about things.
APPROVED!
i go on to the next round tomorrow.
this is the camera round.
there will be a demonstration on camera.
and lots of personality shimmer and maybe dancing.
tired.
but happy.
according to you all i am a shoe in for design star.
word to that.
( i hope you are still practicing spells and reading runes or...something)
some of you think i will get on tv and say fuck.
i might.
but not a lot.
i don't say fuck on here a lot.
in truth i watch a lot of reality tv (a lot a lot)
and everyone on reality tv cusses.
they just bleep it.
gordon ramsay has made a career out of it.
i am not saying
i am going to be cussing a lot, maybe not ever.
who's to say?
i will probably be too busy making a mirror out of sticks
or contemplating candice's fascination with matrix style coats.
and some of you think they will be hard on me bc i was/am so hard on them..
you're probably right.
they will either completely ignore it or make a spectacle out of me.
i mean if i suck then i deserve turd status for sure.
all i can do is be myself and decorate the shit out of rooms and possibly an outhouse, or a box of raisins.
anyway..
the audition is in 2 days.
i am nervous.
for sure.
what if vern's there?
what if he kicks me in the face?
(if he can reach my face)
what?
first:
i cannot thank you all enough for leaving comments in the last post.
my heart is full of brownie batter because of you.
now:
i have spent that last 2 days running around like crazy trying to spruce up my house.
apparently for this design star audition they need something called a..
portfolio?
so i have been adding, subtracting, borrowing, crying, worrying, freaking out, dreaming, and yes, of course..
farting.
i am nothing without my blowhole.
anyway...my little rental house has never looked prettier.
i spent a good portion of the day today trying to take pictures.
which was almost a complete wash due to the grayest of cloudy poopy days.
so i am back at it tomorrow.
this is all part of my
..portfoooliooo..
which will include my "work" (go ahead and giggle, i am)
here's a sneak peak of a spot the camera actually made love to ..
also:
(as in turner)
that shit is legit!!
design turds here i come!!!!
*but still say prayers, do rain dances, drink blood and slaughter goats
was going to keep it a secret...
but i decided i wasn't really sure why i was doing that..
i might need all of your support so..
look out mandice, verngina and el gordo..
you guys have better upped your game this year bc i am coming to divide and conquer.
i promise to never do a mural unless one is asked of me and even then i will side-eye the camera (for you dear readers..it will be like my little carol burnett ear tugging thing) and at least try to accomplish something that's not farty.
i have zero point zero zero design experience so that should be interesting.
unless you count craigslist skills and moodboarding as design experience.
but i am fairly certain that i can decorate a room with furniture and art and make it functional and pretty.
i suppose that's what it's all about right?
that and the fact that my personality is funsies.
so.
ummm.
yeah.
that's what i am going to be doing on saturday.
so please leave a comment here if you are a reader (in case hgtv is listening) and let them know how super excited you are to see me on this show and that you will watch and stuff.
p.s.
i saw vern yip in the car the other day and i waved to him and pointed and he never waved back so i count that as a sign.
famous farts,
sorry for the lack of post today.
i have been addressing emails and work related things mostly.
but really i have been twittering, doing yoga and eating ham.
no...there was work too. really.
but mostly i have been avoiding life bc of this:
this is not ok.
not for georgia.
not ever.
but i promised a recap of the rue party.
i did NOT go to LAVISH.
repeat..
NOT. AT. LAVISH.
RUE WAS A FREE GIG.
so i went.
bc i am whore for cake and vodka.
it was decorated inside the party:
the picture doesn't do it justice.
the picture that i stole from this blogger:
it was really pretty.
the night started off innocently enough.
dinner at the W with erica of design blahg, nicole of sketch 42, brian patrick flynn of decor demon, his man meat hollis, niki papadopoulous of yummy scrumptious and my best gal molly (aka mollsballs).
we ate mediocre food and talked about everything from rue magazine to botox to christmas trees.
after dinner we hightailed it to the rue party where i proceeded to pound vodka and cake on a stick.
i spoke with shameeka and we are lovers again.
i met anne sage, and all the rue ladies..ok...some of the rue ladies.
i am pretty sure a few of them thought i was straight up on crack.
and/or weird times 4 billion.
the proof is in the delicious pudding:
notice how i had to rest on the wall.
this was due to the ridiculously awesome songs the dj was smearing in my face.
i needed a minute.
if you are getting married spend every last dime on these guys.
and then invite me to your wedding so i can make love to the dance floor.
video footage courtesy of the fabulous and gorgeous nicole.
brian patrick flynn aka decor demon aka my lover has an hgtv blog called Design Happens.
and oh, it happens!!
it happens hard!
and as if he weren't awesome enough- he asked ME to guest star.
duh.
we are talking color.
but before you head over to read the magic you might want to watch this for reference:
it will be soooo worth your effort.
