this is like fashion week for design nerds and i need to be the zoe..

 why has no one told me about this??

apparently this is like the mother of all trade shows.

in paris.

whaaat??

also apparently a shitbasket of bloggers are there.

and i am jealous.

paris people!!!

 the latest design trends at your fingertips for touching, humping and mounting.

all of these images are from last year.

as this year is happening like, today!

so for next year i am taking donations for my flight over so that i can report on this shit!

for you!!!

me and my film crew mike will be there to cover it for you bc i think you need to know..

who else is gonna shoot you straight with...

"this pixelated couch is how much dollars?!?!?!"

"fuck you pixelated couch maker, that shit is ugly"

or..

 

"can i get 2,000 of these asian things for my closest friends...we will all blog about them?!"

 

and who doesn't want to see me take a nap on this settee?

 

 

and you know you want me to upload pics for you like this so you can get started right away doing this type of thing in your own house...

i mean you can get all of this information from

boring mcsnoozeypants

or

fun mcawesomeface

lets get this shit going for next year people.

i must go to paris and jizz all over it.

 

images via the paris apartment, apt. therapy, your mom, and me

the shitness

 when i first saw this pretty bedroom i was like...gahhhh!!! goooobbers!!  schnizzlefronds!!

it's julian and olatz schnabel's bedroom in new york.

but before that glorious bed was in that room it was in this one:

also stunning.

the schnabel's have quite the art collection (that's a picasso way up tippy top)

not that julian's own art is to be scoffed at.

plenty of his work is on display at museums across the world.

he is one of my favorites for sure.

anyway...

also in this house is this room:

and this one:

 

and all said rooms are in this house:

look at that thing!!

so any of you new yorkers seen this pink behemoth and wondered who lived there or what it was?

anyone ever been inside it?

i take it the schnabel's don't live there anymore as my first pic is obv. in another house altogether.

give me the savvy new yorker scoop!!

 

book porn...no really...this is shit all of you want.

 

tyler is cute and his recipes are great. 

i have 3 of his cookbooks.

this will make 4.

i will make you something from it.

releases oct. 12th

 

ina makes me pee in my pants.

releases oct. 26th

 

secrets of a great stylist.

pooping over this one.

releases dec. 7th

(the day after my birthday...aHEM!!!)

 

victoria hagan is a porn pusher.

releases oct. 12th

 

yes.

available now!!!

 

ok. sure.

releases oct. 19th

 

yep.

releases oct. 5th

 

 lovely and yum.

releases ??

 

dumb and of course.

releases oct 26th

 

 

umm....duh.

releases oct. 5th

 

delicious.

available now!!

 

yes, the bad news is 98 percent of these aren't available until your ass but the good news is that if you pre-order them they are like 20-30% off.

and that is major.

 

i take gifts but i am willing to barter brownies or cupcakes if that's easier for you.

 

 

 

 

real quick like...

best:

the only one in this color and it looks amazing on her.

and her hair is to die for.

she looks better than the women on the red carpet half her age did.

in fact they looked more her age than she did.

homegirl is 45.

 

2nd best:

FUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCKKKKK!!!!!!

 

 

worst:

i don't care who did this dress.

i don't wanna know who did this dress.

it's hieroglyphics and it's fucking stoopid.

 

2nd worst:

it's too clunky and you need to be like charlize or nicole or cate to pull this shitfrock off.

sooki is like 3'8 and looks like an orc ready for battle.

thoughts?

faves?

who cares?

jimmy fallon was funny?

jon hamm singing made you wet?