a whore called fame, consuming thoughts and asians..

according to you all i am a shoe in for design star. 

word to that.

( i hope you are still practicing spells and reading runes or...something)


some of you think i will get on tv and say fuck.

i might.

but not a lot.

i don't say fuck on here a lot.

 

in truth i watch a lot of reality tv (a lot a lot)

and everyone on reality tv cusses.

they just bleep it.

gordon ramsay has made a career out of it.

 

 

 i am not saying

i am going to be cussing a lot, maybe not ever.

who's to say?

i will probably be too busy making a mirror out of sticks

or contemplating candice's fascination with matrix style coats. 

 

and some of you think they will be hard on me bc i was/am so hard on them..

you're probably right.

they will either completely ignore it or make a spectacle out of me.

i mean if i suck then i deserve turd status for sure. 

all i can do is be myself and decorate the shit out of rooms and possibly an outhouse, or a box of raisins.

 

anyway..

the audition is in 2 days.

i am nervous.

for sure.

what if vern's there?

what if he kicks me in the face?

(if he can reach my face)

 

what?

exhausted but excited

first:

i cannot thank you all enough for leaving comments in the last post.

my heart is full of brownie batter because of you. 

 

now:

i have spent that last 2 days running around like crazy trying to spruce up my house.

apparently for this design star audition they need something called a..

portfolio?

 

so i have been adding, subtracting, borrowing, crying, worrying, freaking out, dreaming, and yes, of course..

farting. 

i am nothing without my blowhole. 

 

anyway...my little rental house has never looked prettier.

i spent a good portion of the day today trying to take pictures.

which was almost a complete wash due to the grayest of cloudy poopy days. 

so i am back at it tomorrow.

this is all part of my

..portfoooliooo..

which will include my "work" (go ahead and giggle, i am)

here's a sneak peak of a spot the camera actually made love to ..

 

 

also:

(as in turner)

 

 

 

that shit is legit!! 

 

design turds here i come!!!!

 

*but still say prayers, do rain dances, drink blood and slaughter goats

not so secret..

 was going to keep it a secret...

but i decided i wasn't really sure why i was doing that..

i might need all of your support so..

 

look out mandice, verngina and el gordo..

you guys have better upped your game this year bc i am coming to divide and conquer.

i promise to never do a mural unless one is asked of me and even then i will side-eye the camera (for you dear readers..it will be like my little carol burnett ear tugging thing) and at least try to accomplish something that's not farty.

i have zero point zero zero design experience so that should be interesting.

unless you count craigslist skills and moodboarding as design experience.

but i am fairly certain that i can decorate a room with furniture and art and make it functional and pretty.

i suppose that's what it's all about right?

that and the fact that my personality is funsies.

so.

ummm.

yeah.

that's what i am going to be doing on saturday.

 

so please leave a comment here if you are a reader (in case hgtv is listening) and let them know how super excited you are to see me on this show and that you will watch and stuff.

p.s.

i saw vern yip in the car the other day and i waved to him and pointed and he never waved back so i count that as a sign.

 

famous farts,