this post is bullshit

i would say the biggest down side of having a child is that they bring home a LOT of germs.

germs that you can't escape.

even if all you eat is organic shit and steer clear of sugar and other immunosuppressant foods.

because of this i have my 2nd cold in 2 months.

it's not the worst cold..

but it has stopped me from doing my tracy anderson workouts.

i hate stopping my workouts!!

when i am on a roll and focused NOTHING can stop me.

i'm like a fucking bullet train.

part of me says F this and wants to power thru this sore throat and runny nose.

but this isn't yoga so..

when i say power thru i mean sweat pouring non stop jumping for 30 minutes straight barely able to breathe vomit face power.

i ask you all...do you power thru a cold and workout as if to say FUCK YOU COLD... WINNING!!!

or do you get in bed and drink tea and sleep and cry til it goes away?

 i don't have the flu or anything so it's not like dying.

but i feel pretty shitty.

see? see how weak and pathetic i am?

also look how cool this house is:

those are glittery black mosaic tiles.

holy mother of ass

it's 1stdibs fridaaaaaaay!!!!!!!!!!

this item caught my eye recently...

(animal lovers avert your eyes)

what we have here is a beautifully faded 1970s yellow python parsons table.

 yours for a mere $5,200.

 pretty sure that's real python skin.

but it's vintage so who cares, right?

nobody kills pythons for tables these days do they?

if a table can be cool this one is for sure.

ok then.

moving on to the fucking bane of my existence..

 in an effort to rid myself of my flabby belly i am upping my cardio starting cardio and doing the new TA metamorphuckmeinmyface DVD's..

if you've seen me you know i have H U G E tits and a sweet gut.

it hasn't always been this way.

just since i gave birth at the age of 35 (not smart).

my goal is to wear a bikini.

yeah. that's right.

a bikini.

if jennifer anniston (my age)

can wear one so can i goddammit!!!

only right now no one wants to see that nonsense.

unless you feel like throwing up.

but this shit is HARD and HARSH!

it makes me cry and almost vomit.

but that's bc my cardio heart is unconditioned.

and my blood is full of wine and reese-y eggs.

but it is working.

and in 90 days i will reveal my sick body to you.

and then you will cry bc you aren't as hot as me.

have a glorious weekend butter-butts.

the heavens opened up

i couldn't have come up with a more perfect show for us if i had birthed it from my own vagina..

recaps, yo.

via curbed

favorites

miles redd for house beautiful..

delicious and crazy.

"painted faux horn bedposts and cream silk satin"

dumb.

veranda:

i loved this dining room with it's bright white walls and coral, rosey gold and lavender accents...

so lovely and simple and happy and serene..

i love this bedroom too:

juicy and creamy.

like a creamsicle!

same.

elle decor:

i want that striped chair with every fiber of my being.

inlaid ethnicity mixed with geometric badassness= cool.

i still aim to paint that floor pattern on a piece of furniture someday.

or a floor.

or my face.

a pool, shaded comfort, a bar at arms reach..

bitch please.

do any of you watch army wives?

i have an audition for it today.

the part is funny.

or at least my interpretation of it is.

check it easy! (check you later + take it easy)

rue came out yesterday let's talk about it..

  well.

there were plenty of oddball photo shoots..

including but not limited to..

a juvenile looking bed party..

a foodless desert dinner party...

and the ubiquitous hipster feet shots..

also kelly hoppen told me i should be interested in a yoga mat and a sweatshirt..among other things..

and the interiors..

well..

see for yourself..

i just don't care about this shit anymore.

globes and etsy art?

this is cutting edge decor?

empty frames on a chalkboard wall?

i mean i get that it's for the kids..and it's cute in your house that i never have to come to...

but i don't want it featured in my shelter publications..

i need inspiration.

this is not inspiring me.

and i bet if you read this blog it's not inspiring you either.

christina strutt's place was charming enough..

 i never met a cozy english cottage i didn't love..

and points for the puppy in the basket- (put the lotion in the basket)

but it was all kind of a mess.

like a visit to your grandma's house where shit hasn't been thrown away in 40 years.

 but bailey's place was delightful:

for those of you that don't know bailey she writes a very cute and funny blog called, peppermint bliss.

and her house in this issue of rue was far and away the highlight.

a glittering golden nugget in a sea of turds.

she is self taught, hugely talented and her personality comes through big time in her space.

she is also pregs and a few months ago asked me to conjure up a magical baby room for her little girl to be.

you should go look at it if you want to look at something cute..

as for rue...

i am impressed by the rue girls' tenacity and their willingness to put it out there and take a risk and follow their dreams.

but this issue screamed amateur to me. and it also felt like it was geared toward a MUCH younger, less sophisticated audience.

what did you all think?

pollen is gross

 here in atlanta the pollen is so bad some days you can't even go outside or you will die.

it's everywhere.  like the kardshians.

only worse!

(but only barely)

and forget opening your windows to enjoy the coolish warmish breezes,

because everything in the window's path will be buried in yellow grossness..

including your face.

if it were in moderation it would be ok..

like a little bit of pollen is good because of bees and shit..

but not this..not risk your breathing ability and life.

(segue)

a little bit of "pollen" inside is ok so long as i am not choking on it..

see?  moderation is best.

claritin farts,