kansas city craig. sifting through a lot of turds to get to the shiny gold.

 good monday butter butts.

 

today we are in kansas city.

 

tanker desk- $100

 

 

pink english ironstone- $125

i shouldn't have to tell you how awesome this is.

 

 

pretty tiger oak dresser- $300

you would need to do nothing to this piece. 

it's good to go.

 

 

china cabinet- $125

the bottom half please.

 

 

lucite coffee table- $100

(also side tables for sale)

 

 

 

chinoiserie lamp- $20

 

 

8 x 10 hand tufted wool rug from india- $150

 

 

 

carved headboard- $275

 

 

signed c jere wall sculpture- $300

 

 

vintage brown velvet settee- $300

newly upholstered which makes this a great price.

 

 

awesome table- $20

buy this and send it to me please.

 

 

antique oak dresser- $115

great price.

i am a fan of dressers as living room, entry and bathroom furniture.

 

 

 

brass cart- $20

got a small area that needs sump'n?

put a bar in it.

 

 

 

brown and white staffordshire tea set- $60

great price.

i love this shit.

it's all english country girl.

 

 

 

factory cart- $150

this is the best price i've seen on one of these.

 

 

 

curved feather down sofa- make an offer

 

 

 

rams head table- $250 obo

what are you waiting for?

 

 

 

long ass persian runner- $150

 

 

 

danish modern coffee table- $85

california caszh. 

 

 

4 frenchy chairs- $200

 

 

 

vintage girly lamps- $25

what if you did a little black shade?

just sayin. 

 

 

chaise- $150

i would knock that back off.

which would mean less fabric which means savings!!

 

 

table and chairs with brass- $125

i would be verrrry interested in seeing those chairs.

 

 

asian-y table- $150

 

 

go buy some shit.

 

 

currently..

 i am obsessed with this den..

my own den is small.

this small.

and couchbed, kilim, padded wall, sconce, striped, floral pillow is the way i want to go.

but..

 budget and choking on mold dust from padded walls will keep me from it.

 

 

 

 

also..

i am going to make some lampshades.

that is complete fucking crazytalk!

cuz i don't sew.

not even slightly.

ok, maybe a button.

but that button will last about 4 minutes. 

 

but i have these:

 

those are ikea sconces.

i spray painted the silver part black and they hang in my dining room.

the shade is super boring and i want something like this:

soane ikat shades=75387209$$$$

 

so i googled some shit and came across a blog called 

Love Your Space

there i saw my ikea sconces and a blogger who decided to make hers prettier with some custom shades:

prettty right?

she sprayed hers gold which i am behind 100%.

 

i emailed the blogger, heather..and said "hey heather, walk me through this will you?"

and bc sometimes bloggers are nicer than jesus

she emailed me back with TWO detailed tutorials that even a monkey could understand (a dumb monkey- because i think monkeys are acutally super smart).

 

if you are a good sewer (not sewer like where your poop goes) then follow THIS tutorial..

otherwise stay tuned for my version of her personalized tutorial that requires the most basic of sewing skills.

 

she mentioned to me that based on my SOANE IKAT SHADE inspiration that i would prolly need some real thin fabric like silk, or cottone voile..bc it would be less bulky than reg upholstery fabric and give me the thin pleats that i want.

 

so here are the fabrics that i narrowed it down to:

pretty...might not be enough negative space..

would make great custom roman shades.

 

 red and yellow together makes me think of ketchup and mustard and i can't get past it sometimes.

do you think like this?

 

i think this one would give me a very silmilar look to the soane red ikat shade..

 

 

this one is vintage and there is only one yard.

it is beautiful.

i might instead buy this for framing purposes.

 

 

i enjoy this one too.

 

your favorite?

 

your thoughts?

 

your willingness to sew these for me for free?

 

work past the anger

yesterday made me want to ross cassidy everyone (that means murder).

so after professing my anger to fartspace

i did some tracy anderson (sweat out the anger)

and then finished up some client design boards.

YOUR FAVORITE! 

 

the room my client needed help with is a big, open space,

combining the living room and dining room.

 

there are windows on opposite ends of the room

one of which is actually a sliding glass door..

the floor is all tile.

brrr..

it's also very neutral (beige)

and the walls are a soft, neutral greige.

so we needed to inject some color and warmth!

 

here is my ghetto floor plan:

 

a lot of the furniture is existing..

my client loves the bohemian traditional look with touches of chinois.

the sofa is coral..

and it floats in front of the entry, facing the tv wall.

a settee will be covered in les indiennes and a simple white bench will separate the living space from the dining space.

 

 

the entry, behind the sofa:

sconces from furbish.

wallpaper is already up.

console and mirror are existing as well.

client found similar rug on ebay for $150.

 

 

 

 the tv wall, facing the sofa:

 

 

the settee:

 

 the bench (wonkily) separating the dinging and living areas:

 

 this the opposite side of the room, or the dining/lounge side..

the sliding glass doors:

 this blue antique cabinet was something i saw on one kings lane and gave my client some search words to find something like it on craigslist..within an hour she found something almost EXACTLY like it for $350.

now all she needs to do is paint it blue.

 

just to the left of the sliding glass doors is a wall of built-ins and a red lounge chair like the one in the picture...

she is on the hunt for a slightly different chair to be her boyfriend and we will cover it in this kerry cassill red stripe.  she found a little moroccan side table on craigslist and already has a very similar kilim..

when i showed this to fiona she started laughing and said..

"hahahah why is there a purse in there!?? hahah!!!"

 

anyway..

said client is happy.

and i want to move in.

 

 

poop pee,

 

motherfucking squarespace!

i just spent the better part of 3 hours working on a recap of million dollar decorators

for 

YOU!

and that shit is gone forever bc when you use SQUARESPACE

like i do

your session times out like if you were on a banking site.

 

which SQUARESPACE is not.

it's a blog writing site

where people write.

 

and clearly if you write TOO MUCH

FARTSPACE basically says "fuck you and your words. we are fucking out of here!"

 

so yes, i should have saved it as i went but when i am on a role with funny words and naked pictures of ross and jam and drawing spears through joe francis' head i don't HAVE THE MOTHERFUCKING TIME TO BACK THAT SHIT UP!

but the world loses bc now no one will be able to read my dumb recap of this dumb show!

and if you say..

"well MFAMB why don't you just show us your funny pictures?"

 then SQUARESPACE wins don't they!??

but see if you are mad enough at SHITSPACE and write them angry letters and refuse to EVER start a blogging relationship with them then MAYBE they will get their shit together and not have their sessions time out in the middle of awesomely written posts.

 

then we win.

 

but for right now we lose.

lose hard.

bc that post was funny.

and all i want to do now is 

BITE

MY 

PILLOW!

 

 

 

NOT xoxo,