important things
remember the other day when you were watching RHONY and you found yourself doing ranjana's face yoga poses?
don't even try to lie to me, liar.
and then remember when you felt like going on a boob punching spree when the world's biggest asshole (T.W.B.A.) and her sidekick were acting like the worlds biggest assholes...
and how you were wishing ramona (T.W.B. A.) would slip in a puddle of pinot grigio and fall backwards?
well, did you know that ranjana khan sells her face yoga program for the low low price of $12.99?
that's cheaper than a target face cream!
i will support her and buy it and then take pictures of myself doing it so we can all have a good laugh..
this is totally helping my eyes look like a 12 year old's. and like a bald murderer.
i think face yoga is genius because it makes perfect sense..
i mean you have so many muscles in your face,
it stands to reason that they need to be exercised.
and also..
this is scaring me half to death..
she should have tried face yoga instead.
her too.
and speaking of assholes...
this just in..
these 2 ultimate assholes are gearing up for a reality show called couples therapy.
bc appearently their marriage is "falling apart".
they will be joined by the circus sideshow that is courtney stodden and doug hutchison.
and some other desperate for money and spotlight couples.
i give anyone participating on this show exactly one day after their couples therapy check clears to stay together.
here's to a successful monday.
new paintings- big ones and littl'uns..
with all that chick-fil-a money you are saving by not eating there (side eye)
you can afford bigger art!
like this one:
pool
36 x 48 acrylic on canvas.
lots of watery blues with sheer pinks and corals on top.
$875 + shipping.
dales SOLD
20 x 30 acrylic on canvas.
moss green, forest green and grass green with bits of gold and lavender.
$425 + shipping.
tart SOLD
20 x 30 acrylic on canvas.
sunshine and blonde with bits of pink and tangerine.
$425 + shipping.
high color
36 x 48 acrylic on canvas.
and explosion of rose and coral with bits of neon, white and nude.
my favorite ever ever ever.
in fact don't buy this bc i love it too much.
$3000!!!!
just kidding...
$875 + shipping.
very very deep
18 x 24 acrylic on heavy linen finish paper.
ultramarine, neon orange, black and white.
$100 + shipping.
thanks friends!
email me if you want to purchase.
hahahahhaha...just kidding (not kidding)..
i'll bet yesterday you thought i was serious with those sheets...and that post about my cabinets.
well ha ha joke's on you!!
haven't you ever heard of july 30th fool the internet day?
it's like april fools only in july and
it exists*
and
you fell for it!!
i would never use peapuke green gingham sheets in any room let alone fiona's!
sheesh! what do you take me for?
a design turd™?
and that monkey business with my cabinet contents??
umm...no! what kind of total blogging moron (with nothing to blog about)
would bore you with the inside of her cabinets?!!!!
not THIS blogging moron. that's who!
in any case i will reveal her REAL sheets in a few days (weeks).
and they will be "plain white" or "something with a stripe".
bc that is what a smart person would do.
aka me.
but seriously...
do you know what is NOT a joke?
sleeping with spiders.
that beast up there was crawling on my arm probably also my face while i was asleep last night.
so then i couldn't sleep bc who COULD?????!!!!!
so i laid there and thought about spiders but also how badly the bedroom needs a new wall color (hasn't been painted in 5 years) and a headboard.
i was leaning toward a smoky navy wall color but i was like...ya know what my favorite color is?
green.
well pink.
but also green.
deep dark mysterious green.
(not peapuke because that shit was a TOTAL joke!!)
and then i was like...
you know what would be awesome? green lacquer.
like this...
so i made a mood board.
because that's what you do.
totally pirate chic with some girly glamour thrown in.
do you hate those words as much as i do?
like putting 'chic' at the end of something not so chic makes it chic?
garbage chic.
yeast infection chic.
scab chic.
anyway.
no sleep y'all.
so...
i am 100% behind this idea and i am going to do it.
that headboard is the business, isn't it?
going to paint it creamy dove white with some gold paint accents.
it will be super glam old lady pirate chic.
fart chic,
*nothing of the sort exists.
this is what i did. try not to fall asleep.
in the face of a possible move*
i decided to unload a lot of shit in my house.
i just want to be rid of things that i never use.
like the 37 coffee cups in the cabinet to the left of my fridge.
or the 12,000 plastic kid plates and cups that are not only super ugly but don't excite my 7 year old anymore.
so it was sort of a pre-move move.
my goal is to go through all the cabinets and closets by the end of the week and have it ready to go to a garage sale and/or goodwill.
look at all my hard work and supreme organization:
this is my mixing things cabinet.
there are also serving things up top..
but this is mainly where you would go to scramble some eggs, mix the things for the meatballs or mix the other things...
it is my fullest cabinet.
i actually went to ikea and bought 20 dollars worth of mixing bowls bc while i had 40hundredmillion cups i had ZERO mixing bowls.
dumb.
here are the measuring and straining and steaming supplies.
me: want your own cabinet dedicated to JUST tupperware?
you: who doesn't?
goodbye all of the glasses.
the truth is i do need some nice glasses.
and all of my wine glasses but 3 were broken.
i wonder who did that?
yep. only the white stuff stayed.
except for the blue stuff on the top which was my grandmother's.
i can't get rid of it.
i use it for cat food.
don't tell her.
the baking corner.
are you still with me?
i also got some new sheets for fiona's bed...
pea green gingham.
so wrong.
i had this idea that it would look super awesome.
temper all the girly going on with a bit of masculine.
but...it's the wrong green.
even thought it's the right green according to the green in the headboard.
it's the wrong green according to my eyes.
what are your thoughts?
* we might not move for a while.
mood boards
my client loves a neutral room with subtle color. me too.
this is a grown up room and very small.
a place where my client and her husband can entertain adults.
no teenage boys allowed.
she wanted it to be modern with a good mix of traditional and bohemian but cleaned lined and casual.
a blend of feminine and masculine.
loves blue, green and purple.
here are the 3 boards i came up with...
what happens now is she chooses her favorite, or a blend of the 3 and then i give her a final look with these changes.
it's super fun for everyone.
you wanna?
email me for details.
don't be shy.
