the turkey and the napkins and the flowers (side-eye whole foods) and the pie crust and the moldy rings around the toilet bowl and the pubes stuck to the oil paint on the table (they returned) and the rain and my period and i lost the opportunity to paint.
BUT!!
that's ok.
it just means more forewarning.
i don't want to psych you out again so i will let you know as soon as i know.
ok then.
keep fucking that chicken.
i know i was going to talk table today but i decided to wait til my own table was ready for action.
which it isn't.
i had a few glitches with dust settling on the oil paint and making it look like the table had pubes.
but i consulted an expert and she said, "sand it away dummy".
so i did.
and now i have to put on the final coats of white and black and it will be finished.
and let me just say, IT'S AWESOME!
can't wait to show you.
so..no table talk today.
instead..
this kitchen of the day.
century maybe..
good god.
ok obviously the stove is the star.
but that hood is working and jerking me like a porn fluffer.
and..
this dining room..
not very practical, no.
but so luxurious and beautiful to my eyes.
for all you squinters here's what it says..
"this is a purely decorative piece of art that is apolitcal and designed perfectly to fit over your fucking couch"
such irony.
some days i would want to punch this art in the face.
but then i would rest on the perfectly squishy sofa.
and..
two legs
18 x 24
asleep
18 x 24
ritual
22 x 30
first day of summer
18 x 24
lie down and look up
18 x 24
a few more jellies in the shop.
and if these sell out before you have a chance to buy, this is a heads up for you... you that want some but keep missing them..
i will be adding 5 more to the shop tomorrow, late afternoon and then i am going to stop for a bit, sit back, reflect and see where i want to go with these.
the response has been kind of overwhelming.
so i need to check in with that and really think about it.
i have some decisions to make about some things, including prints.
plus i want to see how these play out on canvas and that will take some experimenting.
and honestly i'm not sure if it will work.
so blah blah blah...just a little research and reflection on my part.
anyway...mrs. mouth diarrhea (me).
please come back tomorrow if you're interested in owning a jelly of your own.
it's monday and i am betting that most of you are feeling a bit of pressure today.
it's not just any monday.
it's a holiday week monday and god bless you if your kids are already out of school.
i, thankfully, have 2 days to run around like a chicken with it's head cut off and try to complete commissions, clean house and curate a turkey and all that mess of deliciousness that goes with it, let alone cook it.
enough rambling..
i wanted to talk table today.
specifically flowers on the table...
i like simple.
i think i've mentioned this before. (likeamilliontimesjenny!)
there are legit reasons for this.
the number 1 reason is not seeing faces across from you and number 2, knocking shit over to reach for the potatoes.
this goes for tall candles too.
basically i think flowers are essential but i think you should keep it simple and low profile.
whatever you do DON'T get a premixed bouquet that screams "I AM THANKSGIVING" unless you plan on breaking that shit up and placing them in separate receptacles.
there's nothing wrong with a mixed bouquet but it should be unpredictable and maybe not rust, red and yellow.
here are a few examples of flowers done right and almost right...
certainly autumnal in hue but that bit of pink and washed out melon keep it unpredictable.
also, i get this is big.
bigger than should be on a table.
but glorious on a buffet or in an entry to greet your homies.
definitely too big for the table.
try reaching around that drapey shit for the salt.
that said, it is rather beautiful and therefore i say do this on a smaller scale.
yes.
with the right table setting a few of these down the center would be so moody and just right.
i picture an indigo table cloth in linen, lots of pinot noir, a gold wishbone and poetry readings.
kinda perfect.
a few ranunculus and some leafy shit.
done.
ranunculus, no leafy shit.
still perfect.
also perfect.
dahlias and seeded things.
in a milk glass.
woah!
settle down flowers.
please do not put this on your table.
yes, it's beautiful and magical and artistic and i would love it if i saw this in a foyer taking center stage like the princess it is, but it has no place next to the stuffing.
i'm torn on this one.
i like the tea tins as vases idea and the flowers are beautiful.
but i feel like this has a lot going on.
it looks like a flower beauty pageant.
anemone wins.
maybe take a few species away to the bathroom.
ranunculus and dahlias?!
don't mind if i do.
this is as big as you should go on the table.
keep those flower stems cut short.
the less stem we see the better.
cabbages as flowers are way cool.
cut those stems down and put them in a lower profile vase and you have a winner.
gorgeous color, super appropriate and affordable.
good lessons here today people.
i have no idea what flowers i will choose yet, but i DO know that they will reflect this post.
and my wallet.
tomorrow we talk table settings.
things have gotten CW on us again.
i think the vampire diaries is scarier than this mess.
yesterday i was working hard to finish up commissions before the holidays and by 5:00 i would have rather folded laundry than recap this show.
so i didn't.
even fiona goode herself didn't inspire me this week to break out the photobooth- video mode.
let alone the lipstick and old dominion.
but i promised recaps and a recap you shall have..
begrudgingly.
kyle's singing the most beautiful song ever written...toto's rosanna.
i was like...why this song?
it's going to come back later in the episode as something that jars his memory.
but nope.
totally random.
anyway..he's singing in a tattoo parlor with all his rapey frat bros and they are all getting tats (a shamrock and some chinese characters- SO fratty) except for kyle.
who aspires to do something with his life and a tattoo just isn't part of the plan.
also- this episode confirmed that we are post katrina.
there go any dreams of katrina coming and wiping the asses of all the rif raf.
back in present day frankenkyle is chained up in the conservatory and notices a shamrock tattoo on his arm and some dumb ass chinese characters on his ankle.
so now he knows his body parts aren't his own?
zoe comes in and tries to re-kill him with a gun.
only he grabs it and then she tries to tackle him for it and then the gun goes off killing a window instead.
THIS STORYLINE IS SO WEAK!
meanwhile..
madison is giving us voiceover
about how shitty the world of the undead is.
she can't "feel" anything.
except how shitty the afterlife is.
in the kitchen queenie is hongraaaay!
delphine mentions she hongray too so queenie takes them to get some fast food- burgers, fries and some strawberry cylones.
they talk in the car like BFFs and delphine tells queenie that her white sisters don't like her so much bc she's black.
i'd like this scene a lot more if they didn't try to slam a burgeoning friendship down my throat in the most predictable way ever.
seriously?
2 big girls bonding over food?
cordelia wakes to a call from hank who has all the guns.
cordelia gets out of bed and madison stops her from falling down the stairs causing cordelia to "see" fiona murdering madison.
no surprise there.
saxeman and fiona are hanging out in what i thought was his apartment and i was all..
seriously? he has the same apartment filled with all of his things?
then we see a dead dude in the bath tub and i am all..
OOOHHH!! of course.
it's his place.
me=not smart.
anyway..the saxeman is seducing fiona and it works.
she loses more hair.
meanwhile..
zoe is using flashcards to educate kyle on basic words such as bed, bath and...beyond?
bed sends him over the edge because...mom.
madison enters all slinky like and they bond over being sort of dead.
over at cornrow city queenie pays marie a visit.
queenie is curious and marie explains that her white witch sisters don't have her back.
queenie disagrees.
marie tells queenie to switch sides.
and to bring delphine with her.
also there is a box of fish heads.
back at school cordelia has become my grandmother, drinking during the day and swearing.
she tells zoe that if she is the new supreme she can be sure that fiona aims to kill her.
so they should kill her first.
something about dead, all dead, super dead.
zoe marches down the hall back to her bedroom and there's frankekyle banging madison against a wall, with his frankendingdong.
hope she felt that.
back at saxeman's, the second weirdest plot turn of the night comes in the form of saxey telling fiona that he's been haunting her her whole life.
didn't see that coming.
not exactly the sexiest come on of all time.
up in the attic..
spald is wearing a sexy lime green kimono and talking.
wait!! what?
yes talking!!
so zoe found a gross tongue in a box.
she put 2 and 2 together and put a spell on that thing and shoved it back into spald's mouth where it wriggled it's way in and settled into the grooves of his existing stump tongue and then all the truth came out.
zoe asks him who killed madison and he screams "fiiioooooonnnnaaaa".
and then she stabs him.
rude.
why does everyone hate spalding so much?
i am sad about it really.
i hope misty finds him.
down in the kitchen delphine is carving a ham and offers some to queenie.
queenie asks her about the worst thing she's ever done.
basically she killed a baby.
yeah, pretty fucking horrible.
she explains to Q that it was a different time, a different world.
and you ask yourself..
can you forgive a murdering racist?
can you?
pretty deep crap really.
this is MY favorite storyline by far.
and i like that they are going there.
fiona pops more pills and tries to shave her head.
i would have appreciated it if smith jerrod showed up to do it for her.
and in the first weirdest plot turn of the night..
zoe, kyle, madison 3-way.
did not see that coming either.
but as with most of this episode it just felt like a different show.
didn't it?
like...who let this writer/director in?
and then finally, in the saddest-betrayal-of-a-new-friendship portion of the show,
queenie delivers delphine in a sweet tiger sweatshirt to marie.
who locks her up in a phone booth-coffin and proceeds to cut out something.
marie uses the blood to smear all over her (gorgeous) face.
the end.
ok, so...i obviously didn't like this episode so much.
but i do think the most powerful story here is the one about delphine and her forming a friendship and bond with the one person she would never have ever formed a bond with.
kathy bates plays is SO well.
evil, disgusting murdering racist AND i made mistakes and i'm learning reformed racist.
because you have good in you heart you feel bad that queenie betrayed her.
but here's the thing..
the racist part..
well, i think racism comes from a place of ignorance mostly, rather than just pure evil.
MOSTLY! there are some evil fuckers out there for sure.
but the murdering part...well...that indicates a totally messed up, sick mind...
does that shit ever go away?!
discuss..
