downton thoughts

sorry this shit is so late.  

so, this week was a doozy. at first i thought i was hallucinating and that i was really just re-watching last week's episode but without all the pigs and coughing.  

but then, like, 75 different things happened in the last 20 minutes.  

let's get to the important stuff..

anna and bates:

mr. green is dead.  he fell right into the road and got hit by a truck…but more importantly he did NOT get murdered by mr. bates.  no.  he didn't.  because mr. bates was in york.  not london.  in fact, in case anyone wonders about that, mr. bates went to mr. carson and talked all about how he was going to york,  you know…for a little of this.  and summa that. not at all going to murder anyone, says john bates.  just goin to york. cuz..i need to get out and get some fresh york air.  hey everyone…i'm off to york.    

we didn't even get to see bates beat his face in.   he's just….dead.   

rose and jack:

rose wants to marry jack ross because he's black and she wants to shock her mom who she hates.  i HATE this story line so much.  the end. 

edith:

edith has an idea for about 3 seconds to have the pig man raise her baby.  because he's so good with pigs, obviously...and a baby is exactly a pig.  

but rosamund, the coolest aunt ever, wants to take her to switzerland to have her baby and give it up for adoption. 

also granny knows.  granny knows everything. 

also guess what?

edith has been kicking around some book titles and she shared them with me.  i will now share them with you...

I Made A Baby, With A Man. 

Abortion! Shmanortion!  

Adoption During Hitler Times.  (alternate title: Mein Choice)

Sad Pregnancy: How To Survive Without Friends. 

I Married No one. Because I'm Edith. 

101 Ways Babies Are Like Pigs. 

I Miss People. 

alfred and ivy and daisy:

alfred proposes to ivy in a letter?!!  

dear ivy,

remember when i came to see you the other day for like, 5 minutes?  you said you liked me!

translation: MARRY ME AND MOVE TO LONDON!

just in case you have no idea how AWESOME that will be...let me break it down for you..

 i will spend the better part of my days in a kitchen getting yelled at by tiny french men and you will have to wait til i get home with the kitchen scraps.  which will be our food!  don't worry, french scraps are like scraps for fancy dogs.   

where will we live you ask?  a tiny one room flat within a flat within a dirty building inside a turducken.  because turducken is londonese for food!  and i am going to be a chef!  the creator of food!!  

tell daisy hi for me. 

love alfred

daisy is sad. she decides to ditch the bazaar and go hang out with mr. mason.  mr. mason makes delicious jams.  

and now, on to the not-so-plot-turning events: 

lord grantham returns from america in his favorite tan suit.

tom's new girlfriend (grrrr!) is everywhere.  in the road, at the church, on the path, hiding in a cake at the bazaar.  

cora is insufferable with her bazaar plans. 

i recently came across cora's society presentation letter:  

name: cora levinson- rich american.

i'm not JUST a rich american!!

i can do many things.  like…four.  i can do four things. 

mostly smile when i am pleased or amused.

and/or

frown when i am displeased. which is a lot. 

but i can also tend to anyone's bazaar in the absence of a man. 

i can even tend to foreign bazaars, called 'bazaats'. or a dirty party pretending to be a bazaar.  foreigners are dirty dirty birds. (please purse your lips together when you say that last bit in order to understand the real me.  the real cora levinson.  purse them together like a small b-hole. but don't tell anyone i said "b-hole" …YOU B-HOLE!)

i wear lipstick. 

mary:

mary still has all three suitors.  this time around it seems like maybe tony and charles know about the other's interest.   i still honestly don't know where this will go.  tony says he will call off the engagement.  but i guess it's just down to which guy mary chooses.  charles showed some new promise by picking up mary's baby, and liking it.  which is more than i can say for mary. but tony said he would always love her and won't give up until she is walking down the aisle and possibly not even then.  which is both romantic and creepy.  i personally think both dudes are wrong for mary.  tom it is then. 

molesley likes baxter.  that's cute. 

my favorite part of the whole night and the part that made me cry out of my face…

was mrs. patmore's little speech to daisy.  in fact i am getting choked up just talking about it..

we was all real proud of daisy when she came back and did the right thing.

and thoughts?

next week is the last episode.  :( 

glerp

hannah in a bikini...

i love her so much for it. 

i do. 

i think she's making a difference. 

powdered ground

22 x 30 paper

whiskers

22 x 30 paper

sky writing

22 x 30 paper

riverside

22 x 30 paper

all apologies for no downton.  i am having a tough day.

gotta keep mewvin though.

one foot in front of the other, that sort of thing. 

go lena!

go paintings!

kitchen of the day

sigh. 

downton coming soon. 

i love these things

just bought a bunch of dinner plate dahlia seeds for spring here. 

pink light bulbs for us all. 

bunny williams indoor outdoor rugs, don't mind if i do.

these are the only rugs we can have anymore because i can hose off the cat pee. 

a very affordable rolling bookshelf. 

i would stack books horizontally like so. 

a statement candle if ever there was one.

obsessed with lily ashwell's clothes. 

she is the daughter of rachel and she has brought it. 

i want all of her stuff. 

and these are the exact boots in her photos.

i asked. 

so in love with the chunky lines of this sofa. 

this tablecloth is even prettier in person. 

so is this one.

create a stylish vignette with this lamp on a small table with this ashtray to catch your bits.

fiona needs this to hang all the things.  

happy valentines blech.

good job, the south

well we never lost power!!!

fun fact:  ice can increase the weight of branches by 30 times and a half inch of ice accumulation can add 500 extra lbs. of weight to power lines.

those tall, skinny georgia pines were snapping like twigs and crushing homes and power lines. 

so even though we didn't leave the house we were able to watch tv, stay warm and keep an eye on the news.

but it had me kicking myself that i wasn't more prepared, just in case, ya know?

granted, before now it snowed maybe once every 3 years here but i suspect that's just not going to be the case anymore.

so we atlantans need to be on board with winter.

and here's what i will have from here on out..

just in case.

1. liquor:

luckily i had this already.

next time you are snowed in pour that shit into some hot chocolate.

 i was jacked up on adrenaline all day. 

this stuff calmed my nerves like a valium or xanax would have.

plus i feel better about a shot of bourbon than i do a pill.

though if i had had a xanax i would have taken it too. 

wheeeee!

my hot chocolate recipe:

half and half and coconut milk (1 cup each)

3/4 cup chocolate chips.

pinch salt

1 tsp. vanilla extract.

melt chocolate into milks in pot on stove.

whisk till melted and combined. 

 add salt and vanilla.

stir. 

pour into 2 mugs.

add bourbon.

drink.

relax. 

2. warm clothes:

yeah.

i have none of that stuff.

basically nothing waterproof or warm.

playing in the snow around here lasts about 10 minutes because everyone's fingers and toes are in the early stages of frostbite. 

also, usually by the time you get all that stuff on the snow has melted. 

1. thermal underwear for fiona.

what self respecting parent doesn't have these for their children?

parents who live in formerly tropical climates, that's who.

2. winter boots for fiona. 

target brand uggs aren't going to cut it anymore.

3. a giant penis coat for me.

this will warm my whole body! 

and i will look so much like a dick that i can't help but be pleased. 

4. fleece pants!

i want a million pairs of these. 

5. winter boots for me.

see #2

6. patagonia zip up.

to keep me warm inside and look like the most pretentious asshole in the process. 

7. a warm, waterproof coat for fiona. 

her lightweight jacket isn't cut out for snow play.

8. waterproof, warm mittens for us all. 

just the addition of these alone and we will be able to make snowmen that won't look like giant piles of white poop.

bring it on winter!

3. a portable generator:

because why not?! 

a luxury, but just knowing i had that would have a huge effect on my resting heart rate. 

4. portable heaters:

less expensive than a generator and a great way to heat your house if you don't have a fireplace.

this one runs on batteries but there are also propane powered heaters. 

5. a portable burner stove:

we actually have one of these but i included it because i was somewhat excited about the prospect of cooking on it. 

it's essentially just a gas burner like you'd have on a gas stove. 

we have a charcoal grill but in the event that it's impossible to start the grill due to heavy snowfall or rain this is something you can take onto your porch and not worry about setting the house on fire. 

general necessities to have for smart preparedness:

1. flashlights.

2. batteries.  

(all the kinds and plenty of them.)

3. water for drinking.

4. matches. 

5. fuel for heaters.

6. gas for car.

7. food. duh.

but items that can be stored without refrigeration. 

here's a great pantry list. 

if you can boil water you can make a ton of shit with ingredients from that list. 

using..

8.this book and this book as inspiration

(i ordered them this morning)

9. hard boil your eggs before the impending storm.

then get ready to eat a shit load of egg salad. 

10. stock up on paper plates, napkins, plastic utensils and cups.

but then only use that shit in an emergency because GLOBAL WARMING!

11. candles. 

i buy the giant pillars every time i am in ikea. 

12. ice.

for the coolers.  

the internet told me that coolers full of ice to store your perishables is safer than your fridge after a few hours. 

i think that about covers it. 

while i feel certain that having all of these items on hand almost makes me want this to happen all over again just so i can punch a storm in the dick...

i am so    ready     for    spring. 

i predict march 21st for us in georgia. 

and i obviously know everything now. 

winter storm pax

the ice is clinging to power lines and trees.  

i slept about 3 hours total because i had visions of dying all night long.

at this point we are basically sitting around waiting for the power to go out or a tree to fall on our house and crush us to death. 

i would like to kill with a stab the person who thought it was cool to close up our fireplaces. 

what do you do when you have no power during an ice storm?

help northern friends.

guide me.