kitchen of the day

JENNY ANDREWS June 22, 2015

here.

hi sharing things today

JENNY ANDREWS June 18, 2015

sorry for the lack of posts this week.

having fiona back home all i want to do is put a harness/leash combo on her in

between hugs.

too much?

also..

yesterday i shot a commercial for sonic and it was super fun.

it was a dream shoot. fantastic people all around.

so posting has been irregular. (like your mom's period)

speaking of...

1. i made a sweatshirt.

you can totally buy it.

or you can customize your own.

or you can buy one ready made. i like this one second best to mine.

2. i ran into this website the other day and thought it was great.

from the website:

Meet RIALTO JEAN PROJECT: an eco-friendly, philanthropic denim brand specializing in hand-painted, one-of-a-kind vintage product.

Handcrafted in her art studio at South Street Seaport in NYC, Rialto Jean Project counts top fashion editors, A-list actors, musicians, and supermodels among its steadily growing customer base. Founder & Creative Director Erin Feniger sources rare American made vintage, personally hand-painting every single piece herself, and thus creating a unique, fashion forward experience.

Rialto Jean Project benefits children through art, with proceeds going to support innovative art therapy programs at Children's Hospital Los Angeles and New York - Presbyterian Hospital. Art therapy helps young patients find a sense of hope, self-esteem, autonomy and competence in their healing process. The Rialto Jean Project charitable platform 'Denim Doing Good' exemplifies our work and dedication to this cause

buy some jeans! it's for such a great cause.

3. i'm sure i'm way late to the party on this one but who's had this?!

WHO'S HAD THIS?!

sweet mother of mercy.

nope. forget it. forget i even mentioned it.

pretend you never saw it.

DO NOT EAT THIS!!

4. and finally in the most epic news of all time...

this is bambino.

we are meeting him this weekend.

now everyone bust out their best dance moves..

white floors

JENNY ANDREWS June 15, 2015

some day this is happening...

i would do this to my own house in a heartbeat, but i rent and it's probably not the same as painting walls. but our floors look like someone lined up all the oompa loompas and then drove over them with a road roller.

images via heaven.

a good sign

JENNY ANDREWS June 11, 2015

go ahead and eat a tree if it makes you happy.

tomorrow i get her back and i am going to squeeze her so hard her head's gonna pop off.

i'll catch you all back here on monday yes?

guys. ugh.

JENNY ANDREWS June 8, 2015

my eyes feel like someone poured a mixture of glue and acid into them.

so many tears.

i drove fiona to summer camp yesterday. why is it so hard to let them grow up?!

i knew i would crumble as soon as i got in the car to drive the 3 and a half hours back home. and i did. i cried so hard i almost puked.

she was nervous and shy and weird (because like her mother the more uncomfortable she is the weirder she gets) but she never chickened out and she never showed how really scared she was to be at a camp where she knew nobody for an entire week. i knew it though and i was so damn proud of her that i could hardly contain myself. i sucked back puke sobs for about 40 minutes until i was in my car and about 1 mile out of sight.

i don't think i have ever wanted anything more for fiona so far in life than to have her go to a really awesome sleep away camp. it was a real turning point for me when i went.

i was 9 years old and i was terrified. but after those first few days something changed. i felt something different. i was just me, only me. no parents or siblings to define anything about me. i could be whoever i wanted to be. i could tell people i was from asia if i wanted to. i could tell people i had come to this earth via a spaceship if i wanted to. i couldn't have explained to you these things back then but what this all was was a sense of identity. i discovered my essential self. plus pure, blissful autonomy.

beyond that i learned how to cope. i learned that i liked freedom and that i could do all the things on my own. i felt secure in my own capabilities. i learned resilience.

i couldn't have told fiona any of this and i imagine doing so might have ruined that discovery for her.

the truth is the best moments of childhood, the ones that stick with you, are the ones when your parents aren't there. the moments you experience purely for yourself.

so i cry because i'll miss her yes, but also because i remember. i remember me at that moment that i was really on my own and how insecure i felt and i was crying for her as much as anything.

but through the tears i am excited and hopeful.

there are no communications with the kids other than snail mail and a facebook page/blog where someone posts pictures of the day. i have already checked both about 30 times for a glimpse of my girl's long, shiny hair and gangly arms. nothing yet. but as i said, i am hopeful.

friday

JENNY ANDREWS June 5, 2015

a grade A anaconda hug goes out to each of you for leaving such supportive and uplifting comments yesterday. i will address all of them personally. i encourage you all to read the comments if you haven't. they are universally uplifting if you ask me.

bright landscape24 x 30 canvas — **bright landscape**
24 x 30 canvas

the truth is i felt a great sense of relief after writing that. it's been on my mind a while now to address it. i am obviously not the only person affected by those sites. and i really don't get half of the defamatory and abusive comments that some of those people get on there on a literal minute by minute basis. so my wish is that at least one person reading my post yesterday will think twice before gossiping or being nasty.

anyway...it occurred to me that i actually like writing. and i like pushing boundaries and i like being me and i don't like being afraid to be me. so i am going to try and make that effort more often. just writing and relating.

so thanks.