facts

in my head i weigh the ways in which i am most certainly not awesome with the ways that i definitely am the most awesome..

for example:

for the last few days when i wake up i notice my hands smell like pizza.

i google it:

sadly, no one else seems to have this problem.

so now i am just pizza hands without answers.

 

also

 

mike has an abscess on his lymph node. 

today he had it drained...

 

this was the text conversation..

me:  are you there yet?

mike:  waiting...

me: ok let me know when he sees it.

mike:  ok.

me:  also send me a picture of the pus.

 

not awesome. 

but yet, so so awesome. 

(*i did not receive a picture of the pus. sadface)

 

also

i went to the mall today to get a few last minute gifts for my mother in law, mother, brother..etc...basically everyone else but fiona.

and after walking what seemed like 40,000 miles from the parking lot to the entrance and then perusing anthropologie for about 7 minutes i decided i was too hot and needed to get the FFF out of there.

shopping fail.

so now i have to go back tomorrow where it will be even more full of shopping failure assholes like myself.

 

here is where i am awesome:

christmas morning i will bake these for my loves:

recipe here.

 

then for christmas dinner i will make this:

accompanied  by these:

recipes here and here.

 

fa la la la fart,

for serious

i make these moodboards bc i LOVE making them...

it feels like the funnest thing ever.  

except they start out easy but then satan steps in and has to be all "perfection is the only way!!! try harder!!"

and "that rug doesn't go!!  fuck you blonde girl!!! i will eat your skin if you don't finiiiiish!!!"

so what starts out as a quick post for you turns into an all day affair.

plus it's school christmas party stuff today and fiona has a cold everywhere, including her eye andihavetobringfruitandistillhaven'tfinishedchristmasshoppingandmyvaginaisbleeding....

so here is your fartknocking moodboard!!!!!

1. creamy, white grasscloth wallpaper

2. allegra hicks tulip fabric in cream/chocolate on sofa

3. allegra hicks velvet dragonfly in plum as accent fabric..pillow, curtains...

4.  cassidy table lamp from arteriors home

5. soft squishy luzerne sofa from jayson

6. weinrib rug in cy

7. wall to wall jute

8. cool coffee table

9. antique bergere chairs recovered in

10. schumacher lavender mohair velvet

11. another accent fabric..

 

consider it...

this dining room please...

this is loosely based on my own dining room.

a mixture of things i want mixed with what i already have or have that are similar.

for our purposes the dining room is both homework city and eatingtown.

the paint color is what i currently have: benjamin moore silver satin.  it is actually more white than gray.

the table is similar to mine.

the settee is similar to mine.

i want to replace the current mission style chairs with black panton chairs (matte not shiny).

i possess the kari herer photography.

would sell babies for the ochre arctic pear chandelier.

simple black shaded sconces look fab (but i could have gone with 50 others to equal satisfaction).

pale silver/stone/white linen panels please.

a natural fiber rug to hide spills and for easy cleaning and/or relatively inexpensive replacing.

plus i love them and they keep everything from looking too serious.

fantasy item:

silver leafed cabinet.

and finally simple wooden ballaster lamps.

though i could have gone about 5 different ways with lamps.

these just blended nicely and weren't too trendy looking.

and one semi beat up leather chair for cats and kid to cuddle with books.

*there is a weird rippling textured effect that is not part of the presentation, ignore it (dan).